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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted February 04, 2009 04:38 PM |
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LOL at the second joke you posted, Asheera.  
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted February 04, 2009 05:11 PM |
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Quote:
LOL at the second joke you posted, Asheera.
what he said. Good one
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"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 05, 2009 05:16 AM |
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted February 05, 2009 07:06 PM |
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Quote:
Asians singing "If you're happy and you know it."
don't get it... 
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted February 05, 2009 07:30 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Asians singing "If you're happy and you know it."
don't get it...
If you're happy and you know it...
Hint: Engrish!!! We contror the ranguage pretty werr.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted February 05, 2009 07:31 PM |
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That's one stereotype I'm not familiar with
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted February 06, 2009 06:19 PM |
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Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"
The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"
Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
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Ednaguy
Supreme Hero
My water just broke! No, wait.
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posted February 22, 2009 12:50 PM |
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Celebrity quotes:
Mariah Carey: "Everytime I see the poor, hungry children around the world I can't keep myself from crying. I mean, I'd love to be that thin, but not with all the flies and death and such."
Britney Spears: ”I've never wanted to travel to Japan, just because I don't like eating fish. And I know that it's very popular over in Africa.”
Jessica Simpson: "I was very nervous the first day in seventh grade. We had history class, and the teacher wanted us to name all the continents. I said «A, E, I, O U,» and if you didn't get the point, they aren't even consonants, they are vowels!"
Arnold: ”I think gay marriage should be a thing between a man and a woman.”
Britney Spears: ”The cool thing about being a celebrity is that you get to travel much. I've always wanted to visit other continents, such as Canada.”
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"Edna, there's a special, tiny, tiny place in hell, waiting just for you... "
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted February 23, 2009 08:55 PM |
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A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission.
Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.
After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush.
The phone was now working fine--except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call.
A repairman arrived within the hour!
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
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veco
Legendary Hero
who am I?
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posted March 24, 2009 02:21 PM |
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I don't how many of you shop at Tesco, but this may be useful to know.
I am sending this to you to warn you of something that happened to me,
as I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.
This happened to me at Tesco and it could happen to you.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 19-year-old girls come over to your car as
you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your
windscreen with a soapy sponge, with their breasts almost falling out of
their skimpy t-shirts.
It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip,
they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Tesco.
You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having!
sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and
performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again
on Saturday, and also yesterday.
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none of my business.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 26, 2009 03:55 AM |
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-Athk me if I'm a beavuh.
-Are you a beaver?
-Yeth. Now athk me if I'm a wabbit.
-Are you a rabbit?
-No, thilly! I awready towd you I'm a beavuh!
I once saw a man pulling a rope. I stopped and asked him, "Why are you pulling that rope?" He replied, "Well, I can't push it, can I?"
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Eccentric Opinion
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted March 26, 2009 08:40 PM |
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A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 22, 2009 02:00 AM |
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What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering an iron.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted April 22, 2009 06:38 PM |
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One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."
Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"
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NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
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posted July 14, 2012 01:43 PM |
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I don't know why I revive threads in the Tavern, but here we go anyway...
Three men were visiting a hotel. The first one was American, the second was English and the third was a Serb.
American man asks for a room and he's told that there's only one unocupied room, but that it's haunted by the "Dirtyhanded Ghost". The man takes the room anyway.
The moment he enters the apartment, he hears the ghost's voice: "I'm the Dirtyhanded Ghost!" The American jumps through the window and dies.
The same thing happened to the English guy.
Finally, the Serb enters the room carrying some pancakes with him and hears the ghost: "I'm the Dirtyhanded Ghost!"
The Serb replies: "Well, go and wash those hands, or you don't get the pancakes!" 
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Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
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Vindicator
Supreme Hero
Right Back Extraordinaire
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posted July 14, 2012 04:33 PM |
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Was that some racial thing?
Because I didn't get it at all.
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NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
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posted July 14, 2012 04:47 PM |
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The Serb wasn't scared by the ghost.
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Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
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Vindicator
Supreme Hero
Right Back Extraordinaire
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posted July 14, 2012 05:36 PM |
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Good for him?
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted July 14, 2012 07:19 PM |
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Sounds better in hungarian:
A Frenchman, an English, and a Hungarian each lose a cow (to disease), a fairy takes pity on them and grants each a wish.
"I want a cow just as good as the one that I've lost" says the English
"Ha! I want 100 cows as dear as the one I've lost!" Says the french
The Hungarian ponders and ponders, and at last
"Death to my neighbor's cow!"
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
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posted July 15, 2012 12:00 AM |
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So, why did the Hungarian whish for that? Mentality?
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Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
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This thread is pages long: 
