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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 02:57 PM |
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It means that+she doesn't wanna go to parties, the movies, she doesn't like resturants too much, etc...
Well I hate parties too  But movies and restaurants are fine. However, I wouldn't take this into consideration, because ultimately, the relationship works if you can spend time together alone, and the parties are just an add. Eventual lack of them shouldn't matter that much.
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And yeah, I am not going to consider her depression when breaking up ... you put it just like dad (talked to him too, he has dumped alot of women ), every man for himself.
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Can't think about her in this. Also going to talk to mom, actually, cause she's an expert on the human mind and stuff .. +her job is to help teenagers and the like. Maybe she has some good advice. First time I am dumping anyone, usually I have just stopped calling! But hey, when you've been dating 14 months then she deserves a face-to-face break-up.
A little tip from me: Try not to make it too emotional. A relaxed stance is perfect, and a smile here and there works wonders. I always put emphasis not on the bad things, but the nice times we were through. Worked well and saved the girls a lot of tears. (those who cared, of course ^_^)
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted June 14, 2010 02:59 PM |
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Dumped a 14month-girl that's extremely emotional before? That's gonna be tough .. and yeah, I shouldn't take such things into consideration. But hey, I get bored by just sitting inside all the time. Games, eat and sex is (believe it or not) boring if you do nothing else.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 03:11 PM |
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I see. Well, you definitively shouldn't be together then. People who hate parties should stick to people who hate parties and same for people who like them. Only that way may it work  for me, sitting at home, games, hobbies, sports and sex never get old. I don't need additional friends or parties in relationship to keep the flame there. ;D
If she's like me and you're different, I think it's best if you parted ways.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted June 14, 2010 03:14 PM |
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Yeahh .. I was kinda mostly asking for advice how I could dump her as painless as possible. Don't want her to start throwing my knife-collection at me...
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 03:15 PM |
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Meet on neutral ground. Definitively not at her place
oh, and before you dump her, make sure to return all her things you have earlier. It's pretty nasty when you find books she borrowed you two weeks after the grand dump.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted June 14, 2010 03:19 PM |
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She has nothing of mine and I have nothing of hers, made sure of that
And yeah, probably gonna meet at my place. If we met in public she'd make a real real scene... anyway yeahh, tomorrow it'll happen. Hm.
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted June 14, 2010 03:25 PM |
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Well, make sure you put your knives away then. And good luck.
Oh, make sure not to use cliché lines like: "it's not you, it's me" and the such. They're lies in the first place and they don't work secondly.
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Vote El Presidente! Or Else!
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted June 14, 2010 03:25 PM |
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Edited by Elvin at 15:26, 14 Jun 2010.
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Then there's Rayne's approach.
Though it's probably not a very good idea given the circumstances Good luck mate.
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Map also hosted on Moddb
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 06:13 PM |
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Ohforf:
It's not as obvious as you'd think. As for how such a state could be reached, I suppose Wog could sit down and figure out what he really wants - not just about this, but in general - and then that'd help.
Fauch:
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I don't really get what you mean. should you control your emotions, or in the contrary express them. like if you are angry, should you hide it, or smash some stuffs?
Neither - you shouldn't be angry at all. I do not mean "suppress your anger" - I mean do not be angry. There should be no difference between what you are urged to do and what you think you should do. What you want to do and what "the right thing to do" is should be the same.
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Eccentric Opinion
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 07:21 PM |
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In this case, once he knows what he wants, the rest becomes much simpler. If he wants to break up, it's not that hard to do (once you're emotionally prepared for it, I mean). If he doesn't, he knows to continue. So either way it's not a difficulty.
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Eccentric Opinion
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted June 14, 2010 07:24 PM |
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Don't be sure about that, Mvass.
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted June 14, 2010 07:26 PM |
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He can have derived that he wants to be with the girl, but have no feelings for her.
He can have derived that he doesn't want to be with the girl, yet every time he sees her, the emotions in his body goes out of control.
So, I agree it surely helps knowing what one wants, and it may make it easier to make wants and feelings equal, where wants, in principle, generates feelings. Though knowing what you want is not equal to that scenario.
So wog know what he wants. Now what is the next step to make sure that wogs emotions are in coherance with what he wants?
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Living time backwards
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 07:59 PM |
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She believes you shouldn't change for anybody
that's what buddhism says, you should accept the other one as he is. but it is more subtle than that, because he should accept himself as he really is, instead of giving a fake image of himself to people in order to look better.
according to buddhism, accepting someone as he is consists in NOT accepting the fake image he may try to give to himself. on the contrary.
or example, if he is narcissist, according to buddhism, accepting him as he is, is to not give him reason to act that way, to make him understand that it isn't the best way to act.
I think it's something that's hard to understand for our society. since we identify ourselves to our ego, while buddhism considers it is a veil hiding who we really are.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 08:19 PM |
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Ohforf:
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He can have derived that he wants to be with the girl, but have no feelings for her.
He can have derived that he doesn't want to be with the girl, yet every time he sees her, the emotions in his body goes out of control.
I'm saying he should fix things so there is no such contradiction. If his emotions are the problem, he should fix them. It can be done. (And it's not the same as suppressing them.)
william:
Why not?
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Eccentric Opinion
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted June 14, 2010 08:26 PM |
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Edited by william at 20:26, 14 Jun 2010.
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Because breaking up with somebody that you do care about but no longer love is always hard, unless you have no heart or soul and care for nobody except yourself. If you don't think it will work but you don't want to break up, then that's a tough decision.
It's difficult any way you put it unless you both want to be out of it and you end on good terms. That happens rarely, though.
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 08:58 PM |
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That's why I said "once you're emotionally prepared". If you no longer love someone and have given the matter some thought, you know that there's no point in trying to drag things on, and just try to make it as quick and painless as possible. You have reached the best possible decision and thus have nothing to regret or feel bad about. Sure, it's bad that things got this way, but regret isn't going to do anything useful.
Just go and say, "Unfortunately, I am no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with you. I wish you all the best, and would like to remain a friend, if you so desire."
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Eccentric Opinion
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted June 14, 2010 09:02 PM |
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I wonder how this turned into a discussion "if you don't love someone" ... I never stopped loving her.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 09:06 PM |
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*looks back at the last few pages*
Oops.
So what's the problem? You love her and the only problems you mentioned are that she's depressed and not very social. You said you're not breaking up with her because she's depressed. So you want to end your relationship over her not wanting to go to parties? 
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Eccentric Opinion
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted June 14, 2010 09:15 PM |
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Well, it's come to that I am considering it ... not absolutely sure yet. And it's because we have very different personalities and hobbies and stuff.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 14, 2010 09:18 PM |
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Then why do you love her if you're so different?
(I realise how this question sounds, but try to answer it anyway.)
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Eccentric Opinion
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