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OmegaDestroyer
Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
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posted March 21, 2013 03:03 PM |
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So you're cool with her dating & having sex with other men while she dates you?
____________
The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down
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Seraphim
Supreme Hero
Knowledge Reaper
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posted March 21, 2013 04:17 PM |
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Edited by Seraphim at 20:22, 21 Mar 2013.
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Quote:
Having talked to each other about our relationship and boundaries, we have decided to be in an open relationship.
Hey, its good to know that people are able to benefit from each other even if they dont really like each other anymore.
Open relationship status is the final stage of saying "So long pal".
Anyway, I am definitely not qualified to say anything here. I am still struggling to understand what the point of a relationship is
I am still confined with my teenage-esque aversion of people even as I grow.
What can I say, I hate people.
____________
"Science is not fun without cyanide"
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted March 21, 2013 09:07 PM |
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Quote:
Anyway, I am definitely not qualified to say anything here. I am still struggling to understand what the point of a relationship is
I guess I can disregard your previous post then. 
Also, absolutely love meeting young people! They're so fresh and unmoulded.
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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Seraphim
Supreme Hero
Knowledge Reaper
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posted March 21, 2013 09:23 PM |
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Edited by Seraphim at 21:28, 21 Mar 2013.
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Quote:
Quote:
Anyway, I am definitely not qualified to say anything here. I am still struggling to understand what the point of a relationship is
I guess I can disregard your previous post then.
Also, absolutely love meeting young people! They're so fresh and unmoulded.
Actually, you should not take advice over the internet. Ebenthough I have never been in a relationship, I think I know how people think and behave.
Whatever the case, I have seen around 4-5 relationships end because the people who separated were people I knew or used to know.
The third person gets all the info...
Besides, its not that hard actually to start a relatinship. Its just a matter of appealing and its not hard to know what people think. Boring stuff actually...
____________
"Science is not fun without cyanide"
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 21, 2013 10:31 PM |
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Oh, please. You don't expect to live eternally, so why would you expect a relationship to last eternally?
You crash and collide, but whether you keep otbitting each other or whether you gravitate away from each other you. Don't. Know. Beforehand.
It just may happen. You've got nothing to lose, by the way. You lose it all, eventually, anyway.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 21, 2013 10:56 PM |
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A clarification: open relationships and polyamory are not synonymous. In an open relationship, the participants can have sex with other people, but cannot have romantic feelings for them. In a polyamorous relationship, romantic feelings are fine too. We are in an open relationship, but not in a polyamorous one (I wouldn't mind polyamory either, but she's against it for us). We agreed that either of us could make this a closed relationship again at any point, and that each of us would talk to the other before having sex with someone new.
So, to answer Omega's question, yes, I'm fine with her having sex with other guys (or girls), and she's fine with me doing the same. I'm fine with her doing anything with anybody else as long as it doesn't hurt her or our relationship. For example, if something causes us to be less close emotionally, that's bad (and not allowed by the terms of our relationship), but if it doesn't, then I have no objections. Strange as this may sound, I think her having sex with a few particular friends would be good for her, and so that's something that I would approve of if it happened.
Quote:
Open relationship status is the final stage of saying "So long pal".
Ah, the pervasiveness of negative stereotypes. Sure, there are a lot of people for whom this is true, but it's not true for us. We're in it long-term.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Minion
Legendary Hero
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posted March 21, 2013 11:10 PM |
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Trust is more important than sex. I would rather take an open relationship next time than a cheating one for sure.
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"These friends probably started using condoms after having produced the most optimum amount of offsprings. Kudos to them for showing at least some restraint" - Tsar-ivor
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted March 22, 2013 01:44 AM |
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I've known a couple people in so-called open relationships. Not surprisingly, they've all ended up single. Then again, I see little distinction between the two categories, so....
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted March 22, 2013 02:46 AM |
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Mvass, this will end up badly for you and you're a fool if you think this is a good thing for you. This is a clear example of you demonstrating the fact that you have no idea what you're on about when it comes to relationships. However, I know pretty much what you'll reply with anyway, something about me being wrong or I don't understand or some other rubbish...
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 03:21 AM |
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I understand that for a lot of people, open relationships aren't a good idea (if they want to remain in a relationship). But I have good reason to believe my relationship is not like that of most people who enter into open relationships. For example, some people open their relationships because it's going poorly, and they think that if they can also do things with other people, their relationship will improve. Our relationship, however, is going very well. Another difference is that many people treat relationships irrationally, or at least adhere to too many social norms that aren't good for them. We don't even celebrate Valentine's Day. Another difference is that for some people, even if they agree to enter into an open relationship, they still feel jealous if their partner even has thoughts about having sex with someone else, but I genuinely don't feel that way and neither does she.
I completely understand the objection to being in an open relationship. Most people who enter into one aren't going to maintain that relationship for long. I know my relationship isn't like that, but I can't think of a good way to convey that to people online. So, William, while I disagree with you, I understand why you're saying what you're saying, and I agree that it's true for many people in open relationships.
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Eccentric Opinion
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted March 22, 2013 03:25 AM |
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May I ask....if you're relationship is going as well as you say it is, then why the need for an open relationship? If you are both happy then what exactly is the need? Is it a sexual thing? Does she or you want more excitement?
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 03:41 AM |
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Good questions.
There's not a need for an open relationship, and we would have been very happy continuing in a closed relationship. We're not doing this out of any kind of necessity; we didn't feel like there was anything lacking in our relationship. Even though I'm polyamorous in the sense that I am capable of being capable of feeling romantic interest for multiple people (without my interest in any one person being diminished), I would be happy being monogamous with her. The reason we've opened our relationship is because we think it'll make us happier. So far, it has.
Neither of us is interested in meeting and having sex with random people, so the only possibility of sex outside our relationship is with close friends. Doing that would make us both happier (and already has), and not reduce our interest in and commitment to each other. It's not for excitement, but for closeness to friends. If she feels emotionally close to a friend and finds them attractive, and he/she thinks the same about her, they should do whatever they feel comfortable doing with each other, because it will make them both happier (and, by extension, make me happier too). She feels the same way about me doing things with friends as well.
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Eccentric Opinion
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 07:58 AM |
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Thumbs up, Mvass. Seriously. It's good to try out and go for the things you believe right or best - as long as you play this the way it really is and presents itself, be honest to yourself and your partner and admit to your feelings or should you register a change in them (with the same hopefully being true for your partner).
Relationships, especially with people of your age are dynamical anyway and should be so.
All the best for you.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 09:19 AM |
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Good luck, mvass. You'll need it, unless she's actually really like you - in that case you won't.
In general, limiting sex to partner only creates a bound that you do not share with anybody else (unless you are cheating, of course), which I find quite endearing. When you start doing people left and right, that one kind of bond is non-existent, as you don't really share it with one person only anymore.
But, since you don't exactly share those viewpoints, you may as well be happy, provided she's the same. Be warned however, if you overestimated how much you and her are alike, you'll drop single soon.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 10:29 AM |
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But no matter how it works out, he'll learn a lot from it. You cannot learn things when you don't try things out, and the best learn effect comes from mistakes anyway.
The world is full of potential relationships, so being single for a while again isn't the end of the world, even more so, when you are young.
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted March 22, 2013 02:59 PM |
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I've always hated the idea of the shackle, if I'm to be in a relationship I want us to be faithful because we want to be,(we truly feel that way) and NOT because of some lurid convention that gets attached to the concept of relationship. So I'm assuming that just because you can have sex with other men/women/both/transexuals/corpses/creatures, you aren't actually planning on either of you doing so, right? (I know that you wouldn't mind her doing so, but are you expecting her do take advantage of this opportunity?)
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 03:18 PM |
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I don't see any "shackles" in simply agreeing upon forming a relationship that we don't need other people for stuff that should bond us closer together. In fact, this is often so default that people don't even discuss this.
Kudos to mvass, though: I'd say, balls of steel to just hug your girlfriend after she rode a guy and act like nothing happened  This is not irony, it really takes some gut. Or lots of it.
There's also the STD problem.
Then again, as JJ said: once you're young, there's nothing wrong to try things out if it doesn't actually hurt the person you're in relationship with. If you both feel it's okay, there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm pretty sure I would never agree on that, I'd simply break up faster than my GF would be able to finish her sentence about her wanting to ride some hot friends of her. Call it insecurity, but I really don't want to share 
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fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 22, 2013 04:31 PM |
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either we are responsible towards other people, either we only pursue our own egoist goals. now a lot of people are convinced that we are incapable of being responsible without a lot of shackles restraining us  (more exactly, that OTHER people are incapable of it)
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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted March 22, 2013 08:26 PM |
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Bah, she's either with me or she's not with me. No middle ground. I can't see where you're pulling this "sharing" crap from but seriously - if you're in a relationship which actually matters for both sides, none of you will appreciate such hippie-commune mentality.
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NoobX
Undefeatable Hero
Now, this is a paradox...
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posted March 22, 2013 08:37 PM |
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Quote:
Bah, she's either with me or she's not with me. No middle ground. I can't see where you're pulling this "sharing" crap from but seriously - if you're in a relationship which actually matters for both sides, none of you will appreciate such hippie-commune mentality.
This.
-Oh, hi there!
-Hi. Did you know that your girlfriend is great in bed?
-Sure, half of the uni has confirmed that.
____________
Ghost said:
Door knob resembles anus tap.
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