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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted August 10, 2009 10:34 PM |
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It depends, of course, I can't make an estimate as it is not my personal experience (I mean, I'm not in YOUR shoes so I CAN'T know), but there's something bitter after it, maybe feelings for instance, that will cause you much more annoyance. 
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted August 10, 2009 11:04 PM |
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Just let him enjoy the moment. Who the hell cares whether it lasts or not... Some people make such a big deal of it. Can you hug your partner as you sleep together, look at her/him and think that she/he'll probably be sleeping beside someone else in a year or two - and still enjoy the serene moment?
If you can't, you're a bit insecure  Cheer up. Nothing really lasts, especially relationships, and if it does, you'll just be surprised and really happy.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Arcax
Promising
Famous Hero
Its quite hot inside...
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posted August 11, 2009 12:21 AM |
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Edited by Arcax at 00:22, 11 Aug 2009.
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Sorry for interrupting your debate, but maybe some of our experienced in love secrets members, will help me.
So after sweet 5 months of emotions, the ice age has came to my relationship.Everything started when she got an holiday free-time job. As a waitress. Huge tips, apart from that good earnings - a dream of every unemployed 1st year student.Of course the work started to take the 1st place in her life.In the october the academic year is starting. New city-some extra cash is always needed. So I allowed her to take as much time as she needs, I didnt want to be an obstacle in her little carrier. Sometimes I visited her in her restaurant but she wasnt very pleased by that fact.
Apart from work other problems have risen. She is living only with her mother who constantly pushes her into studies. My (ex)girlfriend also wasnt very sure about those studies. Biotechnology ugh...
All those "problems" came and so our relationships went under big "?".
She became cold,sarcastic...totally different person. I was enduring it.
Till that time...Unlucky thursday,eleven days ago. We were talking for, nearly, an hour. After all that struggle I asked: "What do you want?" Full of tears she replied : "I dont know.Im so sorry that Im so cold I just dont know how to show you emotions anymore" Suddenly it came to my mind - its over. I slowly started to tell her about new beginning. That everything will be ok.
So we broke up.
After few hours a single thought had hit me. It was so hard to find her. And now when I did it, when I finally had got my dream girlfriend Im going to give up so easy ?
I send her a text message that she's the best thing that have ever happened in my life and that I love her and I ask for another chance. The reply was : "Lets take some time. I really dont want to make haste in those things.Please understand me."
So Im waiting. 11 days passed. Im going crazy. Silence.
Sooooo.... WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO NOW ?! I know Im just a minor member but help me HC! :<
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted August 11, 2009 12:38 AM |
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Doesn't sounds like she cares much for you anymore. Besides her friends had told you a few things, do they not matter to you anymore?
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Arcax
Promising
Famous Hero
Its quite hot inside...
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posted August 11, 2009 02:39 AM |
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Sounds terrific...But maybe she's just lost...
And Im still trying to figure out the meaning of those gossips...
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted August 11, 2009 02:54 AM |
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Gossips? Meaning? Does not compute.
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 11, 2009 07:15 AM |
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This:
Quote:
"I dont know. Im so sorry that Im so cold I just dont know how to show you emotions anymore"
spells "THE END".
The feeling of loss may be depressing, but don't cling to it, don't start telling yourself how bad things are. You miss her, but it's over. Try to let her go. It may take some time. But the world is full of people.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted August 11, 2009 10:24 AM |
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Arcax... just dump her for good.
For someone NOT involved, like me, a girl telling a person she supposedly cares for "I don't know how to show you emotions anymore" sounds downright RIDICULOUS and it's simply a lame excuse. I'd bet she simply doesn't give a damn about it anymore.
Like JJ said...
And besides. You know why she sms-ed you? Because people don't have the guts to end things. They will remain in poisoned relationship and cling to it, feeling bad, struggling, until it finally collapses. I don't know a single YOUNG person who'd manage to "save" his relationship. And you're 18, which means, you shouldn't really bother.
People who make it through those struggles and remain happily together are usually long term marriages... and even those rarely do it.
Being with someone for, idk, 1 year, 2, even three.. nah. And here.. five months... double nah.
Oh, and biotechnology sucks, especially in our country. Feel free to hand her a broomstick, that's what she'll do after the college: clean the streets or keep waitressing. Sad truth, nobody needs biotechnologists in a country that has nearly zero bio production 
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted August 11, 2009 10:51 AM |
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Edited by Azagal at 10:53, 11 Aug 2009.
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If I may also give you some words of advice... I understand you correctly that she was your first "real" girlfriend right? You weren't involved into any "serious" relationships before that, atleast not this long, right? Now... as much as I believe that you mean what you say here
Quote:
now when I did it, when I finally had got my dream girlfriend Im going to give up so easy ?
I'd like to tell you that that impression may be a little exaggerated considering the fact that you were so in love (just look back at your posts here you were brimming with hapiness^^). Love does make blind quite often really... and in your case (if I may say so) it's indeed blindness. I don't mean to say that she wasn't a nice young lady but I'm just saying that you're still too in love with her. You will find someoneelse I can promise you that... and she'll be great too. There are so many people out there you'll always find someone worth it. But if you just try to repair something that she doesn't want to keep up you'll both be miserable. So just let it go.
This is just your first break up and it's all a bit much (it always is) but honestly don't worry too much about it you'll get over her and you'll most certainly find someone atleast as good.
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Arcax
Promising
Famous Hero
Its quite hot inside...
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posted August 11, 2009 11:18 AM |
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Edited by Arcax at 11:21, 11 Aug 2009.
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@Doomforge I was about to phone her and ask for a meeting...Now Im confused. Friend of mine told me its not worth it, her advice was to just leave it. But wouldnt it be showing the white flag? I know...5 months arent much...But her figure,jokes...
Btw - Thanks for info on biotechnology
@Azagal I had someone before her and it was a total fail. Now I felt a real connection. I know Im 18 but I have at least some experience in that matter...She was everything I was looking for. Maybe Im blinded, maybe Im an idiot.
I'll phone her. Brave ones dont live forever, cautious ones dont live!
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted August 11, 2009 11:22 AM |
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There is a difference between white flag and simply understanding something is not worth your time and effort.
But I actually think a meeting is a good thing: Try to settle things once and for all. And no more question marks: force her to say the truth. Women usually enjoy their little cryptic game and half-spoken words, but you don't need to play along. Be firm 
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted August 11, 2009 11:25 AM |
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Please my all means I was neither trying to call you an idiot nor naive. I'm just saying that you man be holding on too desperately to a sinking ship (ok so maybe a little naive, but not naive in a moronic way, it's just that you're in love). And while some experience is better than non I'd like to tell you that one completely failed relationship usually isn't much. Especially considering the fact that your previous relationship seemed to be the total opposite of your current (you said it was a disaster) so I don't see how that break up could help you with the one now.
Anyways if you feel like calling her of course you should. All I'm trying to say (and the others too if I understand them correctly) is that you should take what she said for what it is. A break up. No use beating a dead horse. But do whatever you feel is best for you two. And considering "But her figure" I don't blame you too much.
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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VokialBG
Honorable
Legendary Hero
First in line
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posted August 11, 2009 11:25 AM |
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Quote:
Oh, and biotechnology sucks, especially in our country. Feel free to hand her a broomstick, that's what she'll do after the college: clean the streets or keep waitressing. Sad truth, nobody needs biotechnologists in a country that has nearly zero bio production
Yes, that sooo sad... but it's for another topic... still if her family got... good Lord! I was supposed to say "money" here, and she is is working as waitressing...
Now on the subject... you can't have it back, since calling her may cause:
- If you overdo it she will feel like you haunt her and... well... bother her, we just know it
- Show you as weak, also sometimes you can't do it with words or someting new that she does not expect from you and your (maybe *boring* in her mind, for some or no reason) relationship. The way is to make her to call you, which in this case may be or may be not impssible. Your own thoughts have much more influence on your future behaviour, than the thing someone is tring to tell you, ask you, beg you, whatever. Most likely this can't help you much.
Anyway, If she, if something make her to come back I have one simple advice, which you are not obliged to do, but I'm finding it as necessary, or at least I'll play "insulted" (it's not the right word, but I don't know another, sorry about that), if you let her without any "punishment" just in month or two she may decide to "need some time" again.
I would not care about her anymore on your place. Anyway just tried to give you an advice.
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted August 11, 2009 11:32 AM |
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Naaah I mean he apparently hasn't contacted her for 11 days that's hardly hunting her. No it's a actually like Doom said he should talk it out once and for all. This whole "not being sure what the situation is" thing must drive him crazy (would drive anyone crazy).
While I agree that playing "insulted" (not literally of course but I know what you ment) may help sometimes I don't think it's the wisest of choices right now since she doesn't seem to have the hots for him too much right now. So it's kind of a too risky gamble if you ask me.
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Arcax
Promising
Famous Hero
Its quite hot inside...
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posted August 11, 2009 11:50 AM |
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@Vokial Waiting for her phone for those 11 days was a hell... Today I broke and...
I phoned.
Im weak.
"-Hi. Its me"
"-Oh hi"
"-So whats up? How's working goes?"
"-Tough as always, Im really tired"
"-Yeah last days was sunny so I bet you had tons of clients"
"-Yep"
"-Listen...can we meet?"
"-For what?"
"-To talk"
"-Talk about what?"
---------now a small pause--------
"-So we dont have anything to talk about already?"
"-No, no It wasnt supposed to sound like that... I just dont know how it will go with my work."
"-Oh...so will you give me a call when you find some time"
"-Yeah sure"
I screwed it. I should force her to give ma a date. Not a "When I find some time"... But whole talk gave me a bad taste and not very good impression.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted August 11, 2009 11:57 AM |
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People "always working", "always tired" and "always busy" should do us normal people a favor and never EVER enter relationships.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted August 11, 2009 12:07 PM |
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Edited by Azagal at 12:08, 11 Aug 2009.
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Well... you not weak you're just soft. And yeah leaving the whole thing with a "call me when you have the time" is not a good result since now you'll probably have the whole waiting again which you didn't want in the first place. Well we all hope she'll call you back fast but now you can't be sure .
Man I really don't know what advice to give you. On the one hand I'd tell you to just let her go. Talk with her to sort things out between you so you don't go out on a bad note, but not to fix things. But on the other hand you don't seem to want that at all oO. You seem to believe it's some "phase" of hers something temporary, seeking the reasons in the change of life, etc. etc. well you may be right but it's not the cleverest idea to get your hopes up on ideas you have. I mean you don't seem to know anything for certain so you should really first get to talk to her throughfully so you know what the situation is and then you should decide wether it's a good idea to try to fix it or wether you should just leave it now.
The situation as I see it now you're just helpless with no clue what to do. Which is bad. So in the time from now till she calls you try to sort out what you really want. And then talk.
EDIT: Oh and you don't have to be a rock but don't be as soft as you just were. For your own good you'll want real answer not vague stuff like "I don't know myself".
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Arcax
Promising
Famous Hero
Its quite hot inside...
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posted August 11, 2009 12:47 PM |
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Edited by Arcax at 12:48, 11 Aug 2009.
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Doomforge you seem rock solid and quite experienced. I hope you are right. That theres no thing such as "The One". That Im too young to think about serious relationships.
Im just very naive it seems. Looking at my familiars engaging and getting married made me very optimistic. Before I came into her life, she was in some quite long, as for her age, relationships(1,5 year and 1 year), so I believed her when she said "I wish one day I born you a child", "Youre the man of my life". I just thought - "She knows what she's talking about". It seems that it was just a trap. Unfortunately...
@Azagal Thanks for your support. Im soft, I have to do sth with it. I let the emotions take control over my head. But thanks to her I think I got some experience.
You know why it was like in heaven for the first months? Because I simply didn't care. I wasnt very sure whether I want to be with her. I was thinking "Eh whatever, there will be another one". And she was fighting for me. She saw that im not sure so she was struggling to make me happy.
After some time I felt in love in her, I finally recognized those features I was looking for : with her I felt happy, nothing else didnt matter when she was close, she was warm, calm, funny, honest etc.So I send all those emotions which she gave me before, back to her. Now it was my time to show affection. Flowers, sweet messages, I was caring, I was still talking what a "snowing lucky idiot" I am.
And it was my mistake.
Her "huntress instinct" said - he is mine, time to get bored.
That taught me building a relationship is an art of showing and not showing feelings at the proper moments. Once you had to be tough so the girl will be a "hunter", other time youre she has to be the victim of hunting.
So what is love ?
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted August 11, 2009 01:38 PM |
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Haahaha NICE. Sorry for laughing but I'm just pleasantly surprised to see you go from a emotionaly biased point to rationaly analyzing the situation and seeing through it. That was pretty fast^^.
But you see this is great now you're a lot smarter then you were before. But now is not the time to be sulking about the mistakes you made and get depressed (you know all "what I fool I was!!!"-style). You'll simply benefit from it for the next 23402 dates you'll have (maybe a bit less). I however still recommend you to sort out your feelings, find out what it is you really want and then talk to her. As I said once you've talked to her you'll know what you can do and what wouldn't be such a good idea. But you already made a step in the right direction .
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted August 11, 2009 01:56 PM |
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Quote:
Doomforge you seem rock solid and quite experienced. I hope you are right. That theres no thing such as "The One". That Im too young to think about serious relationships.
Im just very naive it seems. Looking at my familiars engaging and getting married made me very optimistic. Before I came into her life, she was in some quite long, as for her age, relationships(1,5 year and 1 year), so I believed her when she said "I wish one day I born you a child", "Youre the man of my life". I just thought - "She knows what she's talking about". It seems that it was just a trap. Unfortunately...
Well yes I've had lots of dates/relationships already (One day I'll create a topic so you guys can laugh at my failures ). I'm not sure whether those "the ones" exist, perhaps they do, perhaps not, what I'm sure of is that people are awfully quick to call someone "The one" though. Like, you meet 10 times, she kisses you, tells you pleasant things, you have sex. Next day you start thinking about her as your lifetime partner. That's the part I understand, but not like It's just fascination. Enjoy the moment, and see what happens. If it develops, lasts for a couple of years.. you can start talking about the one, I think (and also consider yourself awfully lucky ) But not instantly, not after a year and not after some sweet words some people pop out at random.
What can I say? Start dating girls and forget that particular one, good luck
Myself, I'm really tired of this dating stuff, but I keep trying, because I don't want a random relationship, I want some serious stuff.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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