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| Thread: Pornography |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Moonlith
Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
If all else fails, use Fiyah!
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posted August 20, 2010 01:20 PM |
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Edited by Moonlith at 13:27, 20 Aug 2010.
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I think it should stay that way.
If you have a thing for little boys and never discover it, it's for the best.
If humiliation turns you on, it will make your life less frustrating in the sex zone if you're not aware of it.
Porn makes it obvious what turns you on; especially the kind that focuses around the fetishes. So... isn't it better not to know them? tell me 
I'm not too sure if I agree  For one it is a rather fun journey to contemplate and discover what it is that turns you on, and more importantly, WHY it turns you on, to find the underlying kinks.
A kink for kids is obviously a very dangerous one, but it doesn't need to be. I still believe there is nothing wrong with the fantasy of it, and if you can find safe ways to enjoy it (such as through roleplay with likeminded people) I don't think it needs to be hazardous. The idea that "tempting pedophiles by letting them enjoy their fantasies that way" is pretty retarded in my opinion, because it's the same as saying "Omg that man is attracted to women, don't let him fantasize about it or let him work with women, he might rape them when nobody sees it!". Alright I admit, there might be a bigger risk with kids since the person in question might think 'he probably doesn't know it's bad' unlike a grown woman, but still, the true -cause- of such situations is a rape-mentality.
And that's a whole different subject
But saying if it wouldn't be better to let someone not discover his or her kinks is a rather difficult topic. I suppose in a way it would save them grief from knowing they wouldn't ever be able to fully experience their fantasies, but on the other hand, it would still give them grief because they might end up thinking they are asexual
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Nobody gets bored of sex.
Unless you have been doing same missionary position with a cold wife for 20 years. In such case, boredom seems to follow often...
... duh? That's just physical stimulus. Spice it up a bit! Get the romance back! The problem in that example is not the lacking of odd turn-ons, it's the lacking of mental desire. Get some love going
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It's more of a semantic play whether we consider it a "shift" or "discovery". Either way, it give him nothing short of frustration because fantasies impossible to fulfill = frustration.
Different mentalities I'd say. I assume you're talking about scat? I personally have rather awkward and even dangerous fantasies, but I don't feel frustrated since I have safe ways of experiencing them (roleplaying with like-minded people). It might be something he should give a try Alternative option; go work in that particular porn industry, it sounds like a very rewarding job in that case.
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And how many girls do you know who would like to engage in extreme BDSM? Surely there are some, but if you meet a nice girl, enjoy talking to her, spending time with her, get into relationship, have sex and notice she doesn't even consider BDSM as an option, would you dump her just because of that? I guess that would be stupid. But that also mean unless you want to cheat on her, you can't really fulfill those kinky desires
Depends on how you handle it Do note that you can get into it in a friendly playful way, or rather, real life roleplay; pretend like it's hard BDSM while it is not.
Do note that extreme BDSM is obviously in the grey area as well, if not in the do-not-bring-into-reality zone. However, at the same time one who is into extreme BDSM should start to think about what elements in it actually turn him on. Is it the control? Is it the feeling of power? Is it inflicting pain? There are many different reasons and different underlying kinks as to why someone enjoys the same 'mainstream kink'. Feelings of control and power can obviously be played around with in non-harmful ways, but again be careful with that. As long as you respect each other and play things safe, there isn't much harm in experimenting and seeing how far someone wants to go.
On that note, bringing it up DURING sex is obviously the worst idea ever, since it can make someone feel cornered and ruin the mood Instead, try to casually talk about it some time to see how far she would like to go some time, or experiment with you. That's at least my way.
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The conclusion is that it's better NOT to know until you can actually try that in real life. Which is most often impossible.
I obviously disagree Especially with the arrival of the internet there are tons of safe ways to enjoy even the weirdest kinds of kinks.
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That is also true but again, whether he discovered it or things shifted, doesn't change the fact that it would be better for him not to know.
The irony is that urine is relatively harmless; doing it in the shower is rather okay I would think.
But keep in mind there are few people who "extreme" kinks exclusively. You might not be able to find true fullfillment for one kink, but you have usually have various options to enjoy some part of it, or other kinks.
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I don't agree that your tastes can't shift. Mine did. What I considered gross 10 years ago seems cool to me now. I never "discovered" anything; it just happened gradually.
Yeah, you discovered it gradually As I mentioned about your friend, most people get into normal vanilal sex because it is normal, but that doesn't mean they have any desires for it.
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Fortunately I have a perverted GF, so I'm not really frustrated about it. but come on, that was pure luck. If she was "normal", I would really regret watching those stupid movies.
Why? Doesn't masturbating to it bring you enough satisfaction? Or fantasizing about it or roleplaying?
And I wouldn't say it was pure luck; you are saying that as if only men are perverted and most women are only into plain normal sex
Of course, a much more modern option is to post on certain forums in order to find a person who has simular sexual desires as you do, and -then- see if you also click with that person on other levels.
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Well, yes, but my main point is that realizing those fantasies means FINDING a person that shares them
I don't think it does really. This is about what you personally find arousing, and most kinks are relatively harmless and can easily be brought up to most people. For the more extremer ones it can be a bit of a problem, but I highly doubt someone who loves you would judge you for it when you tell her. You seem to be more fixated on finding someone with the same sexual fantasies rather than a sweet woman Which is not to say it cannot be combined, but it will be harder to find. Not impossible though, but again, finding alternative ways to enjoy your desires is not a bad option.
Also note that a part of the problem may be that most people think humans are monogamous; they are not. There are only two elements that argue in favour of monogamy, and those are jealousy and love. But even love is polygamous, you can love multiple people at the same time. Splitting the love and sex part is another option, depending on how openminded the people are you find, but I do think sex is better with someone whom you love.
Even if it's an extreme kink, I think doing plain regular sex with someone you love is much more satisfying than doing an extreme kink with a person you hardly know or care about.
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and it is very difficult (obviously unless it's THAT type of relationship, you don't start with "hi, my name is John, I'm into scat" - you discover each other's tastes after a good while, usually).
Or you post an advert on a forum, explain your situation and kinks, and ask to meet women with likeminded interest I'm pretty sure there is at least 1 forum or community for every single kink you can imagine, no exceptions, if you search for it. That's the beauty of internet by the way; Rule 34 of the internet.
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Saves you the frustration of inability if you simply don't know. Or try to discover things with your partner together, instead of creating a illusion on the screen.
Hmmm I still don't agree. If you're frustrated by it you haven't found any proper ways to experience and enjoy it, I think. There are more options than doing it with a person IRL, and even in real life there are multiple options.
But, note that it sounds suspiciously like the typical guys who say "I don't want a girlfriend, I just want sex".
@ Fauch:
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I doubt that, and certainly not from birth. maybe conditioning, but that can be undone.
If it could be undone there wouldn't be a pedophile who'd go into the wrong a second time. Trust me, you can't change it. And no, christians "curing" homosexuality is not a valid example. That's called insanity.
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it is also possible they share them but will not admit it, because they think it would make themselves not respectable.
people do that all the time, in order to look respectable and gain a good position in society, they deny who they really are and do what they think other people expect from them.
That's why I think openness, understanding, and a high level of communication is very important for a relationship In terms of sexuality, you don't need to share your partner's kinks, just not judge him or her for them. And if you really love someone I think at some moments you might be willing to try something just to appease him or her, now and then.
Doesn't mean you have to be into it, but I think if you notice him or her really enjoying it, that itself is rather satisfying and makes it worthwhile to try.
Personally, I tend to think you get most satisfaction out of pleasing someone else. That's why I can't stand guys who only think of girls as cumdumps, to put it crudely. Which is, in an ironicly twist in this topic, exactly the image vanilla pornography creates. But that's obviously because that kind of pornography is aimed towards -those- kinds of guys.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted August 20, 2010 01:46 PM |
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NO PICS PLEASE!!!!!
It makes no sense to speak about something without having the proper references. Let's wait for Elodin with his CLICKY and hope.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 20, 2010 01:50 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 13:54, 20 Aug 2010.
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If it could be undone there wouldn't be a pedophile who'd go into the wrong a second time. Trust me, you can't change it. And no, christians "curing" homosexuality is not a valid example. That's called insanity.
it's not because you don't know how to do it that it's impossible. it might be true for the majority of people, but it's because they are ignorant, or they just don't want to change. they think, it would be good to change, but they don't have the balls to do it.
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Moonlith
Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
If all else fails, use Fiyah!
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posted August 20, 2010 01:54 PM |
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Celibacy doesn't mean you suddenly drop your turn-ons. That's more about willpower and restraining, not actually -removing- the desire.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 20, 2010 01:56 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 14:03, 20 Aug 2010.
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I'm talking about more drastic changes. you can change the way you think. but it's just too scary for most people.
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Personally, I tend to think you get most satisfaction out of pleasing someone else. That's why I can't stand guys who only think of girls as cumdumps, to put it crudely
there's the opposite problem as well. you can be very respectful toward women, but admit you have some weird kinks and some people will come to the conclusion you consider women as "cumdumps" and no matter how you would argument it, from now on, you are nothing more than a demented pervert snow to them.
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Moonlith
Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
If all else fails, use Fiyah!
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posted August 20, 2010 01:59 PM |
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Edited by Moonlith at 14:00, 20 Aug 2010.
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*shrugs* I'd counter argue they are perverts as well, but at least I'm an honest pervert But yeah, as said, respect and not judging someone is very important. I wouldn't want to be with someone who judges me for what I am to begin with.
So, no loss there in my opinion.
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I'm talking about more drastic changes. you can change the way you think. but it's just too scary for most people.
And I'd be curious about this. What method is this? I don't think it's scary, rather it's difficult.
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted August 20, 2010 02:07 PM |
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As long as people realise that pornography is in no way a representation of reality, but of fantasy. I think someone said: "It's like a fairytale for adults." Everything you see in a porno most likely does not work that way in real life.
We've all been fooled. The penis does not go there.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 20, 2010 02:08 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 14:10, 20 Aug 2010.
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I'm talking about more drastic changes. you can change the way you think. but it's just too scary for most people.
And I'd be curious about this. What method is this? I don't think it's scary, rather it's difficult.
not really a method. well, gurus will give methods, but I'm refering to the teachings of krishnamurti about living without clinging to beliefs, dogmas...
and that's scary because we almost all base our lives on a lot of beliefs, so when we learn those beliefs are fundamentally false / have no objective value, it's like we lose the whole meaning of our life. so most people prefer to just reject such things.
and it's not difficult. it is difficult because it is scary, but that's it. well, actually, changing your beliefs is less scary than dropping all beliefs.
I got flamed and insulted on another forum, during a debate on rapes, for saying you can not blame all the problems a person has in her life on the guy who raped her when she was a child and that the child conceived during a rape isn't comparable to the alien in "the 8th passenger"...
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Moonlith
Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
If all else fails, use Fiyah!
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posted August 20, 2010 02:17 PM |
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That actually sounds rather interesting, I should look into that.
And rape is a rather awkward topic. It's an element that has been omni-present throughout humanity's history, and is very much so present in the animal kingdom. Ducks and frogs even get gangbang-raped frequently I believe.
That's why I love the animal kingdom; it's so shamelessly perverted that it reminds you of what you are I recall hearing about a fish that was literally snowed into suffocation by a large group of horny frogs, and even after it died they continued to hump its corpse. Makes you think about sexual norms doesn't it
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1910
Known Hero
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posted August 20, 2010 02:24 PM |
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What do I think of porn? It's okay when I'm unable to get any action, but other than that, I just prefer the real thing.
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Warmonger
Promising
Legendary Hero
fallen artist
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posted August 20, 2010 02:28 PM |
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Generally my opinion is similiar to Doomforge's, but as the discussion goes elsewhere I find it inspiring Also wise and funny at the same time, keep it going!
yeah, it makes me feel normal as nothing else.
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The future of Heroes 3 is here!
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xerox
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 20, 2010 03:36 PM |
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Edited by xerox at 15:41, 20 Aug 2010.
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Porn can sometimes be absolutely hilarious and can be a very good way of spending time when you have nothing else to do. I do not see anything wrong with untill it is proven that 90% of those that watch porn become serial rapists. ;P
edit: Also I do not get this. At this age, kids are constantly told that "You just don't do it the pornographic way IRL when you have sex". Then HOW do you have sex if everything in porn never ever happens irl? Everybody that have sex IRL are castrated or hug each other while wearing plastic bags?
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Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
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- John Stuart Mill
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted August 20, 2010 05:50 PM |
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My friend found himself addicted to BDSM porn.And guess what, in real life, he found "normal" attractions kinda... lacking. Which turned out a massive frustration (people who would do hardcore unacted BDSM probably exist, but yeah, go and find one being an unattractive 17yo guy ). That would be avoided entirely if he never watched porn.
This probably affected me.I got used to watch Torture porn and then grew to like rather extreme S&M.
But do I regret it?Absolutely not 
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1910
Known Hero
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posted August 20, 2010 06:33 PM |
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To be honest, that's not at all surprising that you like that. People who do like it need help though and that's just what I think. There's a fine line between watching normal pornography and then watching torture pornography. How is that at all good? It's sick and if you do like that sort of stuff then you need help.
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Warmonger
Promising
Legendary Hero
fallen artist
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posted August 20, 2010 06:55 PM |
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I'm generally disgusted by any kind of pervertion, especially don't understand why do people watch strangers having sex with each other, not to mention some items or whatever it takes.
It's so much different than watching nude girls (or boys, if some of you prefer) for your own pleasure, which is understandable - but still immoral and wrong.
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The future of Heroes 3 is here!
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted August 20, 2010 06:57 PM |
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In what it different for you, William, between a porn actress who simulate pleasure and then who simulate pain?
@Warmonger: so it is watching people you know having sex together that excites you? Good to know
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1910
Known Hero
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posted August 20, 2010 06:59 PM |
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Because there's a difference between pleasure and pain. Pleasure is usually good and pain is not. I can't understand how people can get off on seeing pain being inflicted or being simulated. To each their own, but I think it's sick and that they need help. That's just what I think though.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted August 20, 2010 07:03 PM |
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In general (excluding medical cases), the phantasms are what they are -phantasms. Not connected with reality not harming anyone. You would be amazed (or maybe you know it already) to find what the "pure" and "innocent" girls we know in real life have as phantasms.
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted August 20, 2010 07:04 PM |
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To be honest, that's not at all surprising that you like that. People who do like it need help though and that's just what I think. There's a fine line between watching normal pornography and then watching torture pornography. How is that at all good? It's sick and if you do like that sort of stuff then you need help.
I no longer watch any kind of porn as it is all too boring for me
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Moonlith
Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
If all else fails, use Fiyah!
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posted August 20, 2010 07:13 PM |
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To be honest, that's not at all surprising that you like that. People who do like it need help though and that's just what I think.
No, they don't, that's just what shortsighted people think.
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I'm generally disgusted by any kind of pervertion, especially don't understand why do people watch strangers having sex with each other, not to mention some items or whatever it takes.
It's so much different than watching nude girls (or boys, if some of you prefer) for your own pleasure, which is understandable - but still immoral and wrong.
It isn't really immoral or wrong when it concerns people who do it in front of the cameras because the explicitly permit the company to sell the tapes. They agree to let other people watch.
Or did you mean voyeurism?
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