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| Thread: Pornography |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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bixie
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my common sense is tingling!
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posted August 22, 2010 10:15 PM |
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if this is about first impressions, as long as people accept that their first time is not going to be awesome, then I think everyone will be fine.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
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posted August 23, 2010 07:34 AM |
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What are you talking about?
If the first time isn't awesome, it's mostly because society as a whole is completely oversexed, and everyone has special ideas having seen and heard and read so much about it. Between all comparing of reality with idea and nervousness like it was all some test you have to pass there's not much space to really let it flow.
Whether the first time is awesome or not, simply depends on a lot of things.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted August 23, 2010 08:16 AM |
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I would change the "mostly" to "maybe also". Intellectualizing sexuality is weird.
Each one feels it differently, and saying "because of the society bla bla your first time will not be awesome" is laughable, sorry. Society constraints are also guilty, but you forget about the most important: is there love? Are the lovers in a safe place? Are they physically prepared? Do they have time for?--and millions things like that who could simply screw it. When you are 14 years old, you care more about your parents throwing in, than about "society" obsessions or neuroses.
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JollyJoker
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Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 23, 2010 08:45 AM |
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If that was an answer to my post, it's not connected, because the issue here isn pornography and what Bixie said.
What I mean is, today, kids have so much heard, read and seen about it, that it is difficult to push all that dead weight aside and simply relish what you experience, instead of following a path or something.
So there may be a lot of expectation. There may be an idea of how it "should" be, how it should go down, what should happen and what should be done, due to having it all seen and heard and imagined - IF kids are confronted with too explicit material.
Kids are necessarily uncertain when it comes to experiencing sex themselves, and they shouldn't develop ideas about "the right behaviour" or something.
The only thing important is what they feel - and correct me if I'm wrong, but porn isn't at its stongest when it comes to feelings other than "being horny".
I mean, try to combine a high school or teenage movie with a romantic comedy and insert the blanks between kissing and waking up with a porn movie.
Somewhat difficult not to become confused, I'd say.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted August 23, 2010 08:51 AM |
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I don't agree entirely. Porn is sex school in some way. Watch it and you know how to please the other (mechanics I mean, not literal.
Today everything is in competition, how rich you are, how intelligent you are, how horny you are too. Have to follow the modern standards to survive.
I am not negative towards porn, it depends how addicted you are to it, and how much it makes you forget the human dimension about love and sex.
Other that, it show pretty well what to do, and liberate the teenagers from uncertain obsessions about unknown.
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted August 23, 2010 09:05 AM |
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jollyjoker, you do realise that the reason why society is over sexed is because, I don't know, SEX F**KING SELLS!
the reason why every shampoo comercial is a peekaboo strip tease, the reason why every fragrance advert is covered in naked women, the reason why the term "Matriarch" in a fantasy universe means "Alright, girls, go into battle in nothing but nipple clamps and g-strings", is precisely that. because of the fact that sex has become more free, since the free-love movement of the 60's, it's been taken by corporations and used to sell their products. Like so many things that start out as a rebellion, it ends up becoming a marketing tool.
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 23, 2010 09:15 AM |
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I disagree - completely, I might say.
There is no standard or normality. You are not supposed to learn anything in theory, you can learn all there is in practise. Finding out, what pleases you is as much fun as finding out what your current partner likes. Obviously you can't learn that from watching a porn movie.
There's only one thing zjaz is worse worse than getting the impression that something should feel great - but actually doesn't. That is, continuing with it or letting it continue because you feel that it's your fault somehow and it SHOULD be great.
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Today everything is in competition, how rich you are, how intelligent you are, how horny you are too. Have to follow the modern standards to survive.
Well, I think, to survive you have to forget the idea that everything is competetion, because it - what you call modern standards - is exactly what will ruin your life.
You know, people should do things, because they actually like them, not because they think, if they do them they might be considered cool. There is nothing wrong with trying things out after some time, if you want to, but it should be fun. And getting ideas, I mean, that's another negative side-effect: sex and creativity is somehow connected, but you don't want it to be like color by numbers.
@ bixie
I don't see what this has to do with porn. Yes, sex sells - but not porn. Sexx sells by imagination, respecting the basic idea that advertisement can only drect to the basic idea and let te imagination of the customer do the individual rest.
For kids this means, that their interest is directed to the phenomenon very early - and naturally they are curious ad try to find more information. The trouble is, that there is a lot of misinformation that tends to confuse more than anything else. Explicit display has a lot of disadvantages for the naive and unsuspecting.
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted August 23, 2010 10:11 AM |
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Edited by bixie at 10:12, 23 Aug 2010.
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my point was not about porn, it was about how you were complaining about society being too oversexed.
No-one is thinking about marketing porn to kids, anyway, but a responsible introduction to the medium would be far better than for it to be simply ignored. We are not a generation of abstinence any more, and more the better, I say. Shutting off people from an issue doesn't solve it in any way, shape or form, and exposure will help, but with the guiding hand of an adult will help kids understand it.
It's undeniable that kids get hold of it, mainly because it's taboo. when we reach adolescents, we seek to rebel against our parents, and attempt to go our own way and explore the world out of their constraints. As Pornography and sex is often something frowned upon, adolescents will latch onto it, as both a means of exploration, and as a proving of ones masculinity, to show that they are real men at a time of alot of confusion. you don't make it taboo, and kids won't really bother with it.
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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JollyJoker
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posted August 23, 2010 10:34 AM |
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As much as I often agree with you, bixie, I don't think you are right here.
The first thing to correct is, that I said, "if the first time isn't awesome", then it's because... and then I started giving reasons, with "oversexed society" was the first link in the chain, because it means that the relevance and awesomeness of sex in the mind of kids is somewhat overstated in their minds - expectations skyrocket, so-to-speak, which is for example the reason why so many kids hate their appearance - it can't compete with the silver screen and photoshop.
Anyway, PORN isn't even claiming that it has anything to do with real life - it has basically as much to do with real life as a Die Hard movie with the life of a cop. On the other hand, porn has a very palpable, tangible reality about it, which makes it quite difficult for a kid to see the difference between acting und reality.
"Preparing" kids for porn shouldn't be quite necessary - the best preparation is exploring things for themselves, finding out stuff for themselves and get a practical understanding about it. It's not like people would need a blueprint.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 23, 2010 11:32 AM |
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Edited by Fauch at 11:45, 23 Aug 2010.
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I think JJ has a good point but it's not only true about sex.
as long as you have expectations, you run the risk to get disappointed.
like he said, it's trying to conform to standards, to plans made by other people which makes you unhappy.
or sometimes, it might just fit you, but then you get stuck in a system of thought and stop thinking by yourself (well, I'm getting a bit far from the subject here)
but yeah sex isn't about thinking or following a plan, as long as you are thinking you aren't really living the experience since you are projecting yourself either in the past or the future.
Quote:
"Preparing" kids for porn shouldn't be quite necessary - the best preparation is exploring things for themselves, finding out stuff for themselves and get a practical understanding about it. It's not like people would need a blueprint.
well, with all the sexual disease, it's probably a good idea to have a minimum of information.
I don't think we should protect children from seeing sex, for example there's nothing shocking with a nude body or a couple of lovers having sex. you should just make sure the movies show good values and not women treated like objects for example.
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted August 24, 2010 04:07 PM |
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I understand the term pornography as use of media (influencing of senses through electronic devices), to activate a defined set of emotions.
All these emotions are connected to sexual experiences and therefore will be different from person to person, depending on environment, but since we all have more or less the same genes to a large degree, we can all agree on what activates these emotions.
That is what I'd call pornography.
Pornography, as it's simply a use of media to activate emotions, no different than watching sport, a good movie, etc., except on which emotions are triggered, and since people themselves are responsible for their own emotions, pornography as well as no other type of media influence can be labeled as moral or immoral.
What can be labelled as moral, or immoral, is in general peoples intention of using something and under which circumstances they're used.
As an example, pornography used with unwilling participants is as immoral as rape. It's not the pornography that's immoral, but the act of rape, which is immoral, because the person being raped do not want it/agreed to it/consent to it [have no such intensions].
Another example would be by making people addicted to pornography and use this to make people do certain stuff for you. Again it's an example of someone who do not want to a given action, but is forced to it either through inner - or outer circumstances.
[Here I've defined addictions as a bad habit that you try to get out of, but cannot [where bad habits differs from a usual habit, by being something you do not want to do]].
On the matter of sensitivity. There are not only one given emotion that is triggered by pornography, which I guess most people know, rather a range for emotions. Among these there are a certain mystique towards the topic, because it's seen as something dirty, which to some can make it interesting in itself.
For those people which that applies, I'd guess they're most exposed to be desensitized, but only because the mystique gets removed, and it gets trivial. You know what they say, people can adapt to incredibly much, which means that devotion to even the most absurd kind of pornography can become a habit.
This devotion to a certain mystique is however nothing else than a certain path for doomsday in the search of emotional happiness. That is because when the mystique is all that makes it interesting, then you can never remove the mystique or it'll loose interest. On the other hand, if you never remove the mystique, you'll never get the satisfactions that your urges are screaming about.
In the end, what is really risked by following those urges, which are only based on unjustified data, are an addiction to a media that's not even remotely interesting.
So don't let the mystique about it fool you, no matter what fancy emotions your environment must have activated towards the most tabu topics there is around, without any valid data, you're simply digging yourself a hole deeper and deeper and who knows when you can't get up from it, without help anymore?
And will you ever be the one to tell those you ask for help that you've been addicted to activities that may even be illegal?
So don't give in to the urges, rather defeat them, doing so by:
#1 Make whatever the urges tell you to do impossible for you for a period of time [at least some days to maybe even weeks].
#2 Find something else to do everytime those urges arise, thereby you'll redevote said urges into activating an activity that actually can be in coherance with your wants. Be especially vary that you do said activity on times you'd normally do what earlier was your addiction.
#3 Repeat for days - weeks, train it again and again, make those neural connections in your brain strong, thereby also making the older ones weak (as they aren't used) and in the end, the urges will dissapear.
However do not fool yourself, your life may seem completely equivalent to the life you had before you started to give into the urges created by who knows, group pressure, authority, or just a movie? However there's a vital difference, before your addiction you could actually have went into those places and come out again without any trouble. Now if you return, there's always a risk of you falling through the floor, though that risk of course gets less and less with time.
What it simply means is, do what you want, don't do the same mistake of the past and start doing things you either don't want to do, or don't have sufficient data to know if you want to do.
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Living time backwards
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Doomforge
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Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted August 31, 2010 03:09 PM |
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I fully agree with JJ.
kids learning from porn will be
a) disappointed (why doesn't my partner have all those power orgasms like in the movie  )
b) confused (why on earth doesn't it work when I do THIS?)
c) insecure (penis/tits size - it's as much as watching 230cm basketball players for a lesson in human height)
I think it's not the best place to get "experience" from for kids. It's way better to gently learn how to. Without any imaginary acts which aren't really that possible in real life.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted August 31, 2010 03:38 PM |
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted August 31, 2010 04:00 PM |
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Well, would you like to have those problems as teenager? 
I'm not saying ban porn or something, only that porn is, well, a dangerous way of learning about sex. Sort of.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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OmegaDestroyer
Hero of Order
Fox or Chicken?
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posted August 31, 2010 04:10 PM |
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Wait, wait, wait.
You mean there isn't any actual pornography in this thread?
Thanks for getting my hopes up.
!@#$%^& false advertising. 
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The giant has awakened
You drink my blood and drown
Wrath and raving I will not stop
You'll never take me down
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koelle
Adventuring Hero
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posted August 31, 2010 05:17 PM |
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referring to the opening question
love it
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angelito
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proud father of a princess
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posted August 31, 2010 05:47 PM |
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Quote:
...only that porn is, well, a dangerous way of learning about sex. Sort of.
So it is better to watch pictures of cars to learn more about cars and what is possible with them instead of watching Formula 1, Nascar etc...?
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Better judged by 12 than carried by 6.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 31, 2010 06:37 PM |
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That comparison works only if you allow the kids real bedroom TV as well, since the watch the real traffic as a matter of course every day and KNOW that NASCAR has nothing to do with real traffic.
But now suppose you want the kids to become safe traffic participants
but for some reason they cannot see the real city traffic and have no idea about it.
Would you still think it was such a great idea then to let those kiddies watch Nascar races
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angelito
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proud father of a princess
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posted August 31, 2010 06:48 PM |
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Yes. Because they also see what happens if you are not carefull when driving a car. You hardly have a chance to see an accident "on time" in real traffic, while you see such thíngs in every race.
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Better judged by 12 than carried by 6.
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Disturbed-Gnu
Supreme Hero
Pro Bacon Vodka Brewer
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posted August 31, 2010 06:52 PM |
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Porn is rated 18+ fr a reason..
As mentioned earlier in this thread by one of you, children should not watch porn at all .. Okay, maybe soft porn. But yes, the older they get, the more will it take to turn them on ......
And so we end up with all those freaks around in society...
Personally I think that it is nice that porn exists. Because you can really use some of the stuff you see in a porn, to make it extra good for your girlfriend. And my girl seems happy about it.
So basicly i think its okay, and i use it.
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