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| Thread: Can people change ? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 11, 2011 07:36 AM |
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Of course we can change. We are human & therefore we have the right to change.
Now do they choose to change can depend on many things.
I should know i had to do it many times in my life.
Sometimes you have to make a difficult lifetime change which can change your whole life style.
Sometimes when you have a close call in death, you can change the way you think about life. Sometimes you give yourself to your religion.
Sometimes you screw up in your life & you have to change.
Usually change is good.
It is not easy to change, especially when you got a good life.
To you it may be a good life, but it does not mean it is healthy.
In my young life i did not care about alot of things. When you get older you start to see who you really are.
I started to respect alot of people. I stopped listening to rap for the most part.
I grew up.
I think maturing & growing up is basically what you are refering over change.
When you get older you get wiser, therefore you change.
Believe me i changed almost 100%.
Those who knew me know i was a very different person in the past.
Plus i could out flirt Blizzard & Ohsake combined & women actually liked it 
I am changing my ways.
That goes to the other thing.
One person can help you change, usually for the better.
Ever since I been talking with Selina, i dont flirt, i talk to to other women like that.
I feel better about myself, I feel loved for once.
Back in 2004 I get embarrassed about even saying the L word LOL.
Now i dont care.
I think it also depends on how you was raised as well.
Being a child you look up to your parents & if you respect one or both parents, you respect their ways of thinking.
Sometimes it could be good or bad.
So changing can be hard.
Sometimes meeting someone who can help you change or an episode in life can help you.
I promise that when you get older, you will start caring about other things more.
Not 100%, but in a good general of people.
Basically change comes from maturing.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 11, 2011 11:35 AM |
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selcy
Famous Hero
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posted May 11, 2011 12:58 PM |
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 11, 2011 01:02 PM |
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No he can't!
I'm just too sexy for my own good!
PS: I challenge everyone!
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selcy
Famous Hero
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posted May 11, 2011 01:09 PM |
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Haha..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Sorry couldn't type for laughing  , let me know how it goes
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 11, 2011 01:11 PM |
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No really. No one can resist my charms! Just ask anyone you want to! Of course if they say they can, they're lying (or doesn't know any better)! [This includes you and me as well!]
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted May 11, 2011 01:17 PM |
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Come on you two, do try not to drag this thread too offtopic.
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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shyranis
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted May 11, 2011 01:46 PM |
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To answer the original post:
Yes, you can change yourself. but it takes a high degree of self awareness and looking out for your behaviours you wish to change. From there you have to force yourself to pre-emtively stop when you're about to behave that way. This can allow the habits you want to do to replace them if done enough (instead of say sneering, you chuckle. You can completely replace your sneer with a chuckle).
It's a very difficult thing to do but with perseverance you can change yourself.
You cannot change other people, but sometime you can annoy them into changing themselves. You're more likely to make them hate you though.
____________
Youtube has terminated my account without reason.
Please express why it should be reinstated on
Twitter.
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Elodin
Promising
Legendary Hero
Free Thinker
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posted May 11, 2011 02:03 PM |
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Yes, people can change. People change all the time for the better or worse. We are in a constant state of changing. With every decision and action we are choosing who we will become "tomorrow."
Change is ordinarily gradual but there can be a life changing event in which a person experiences an immediate shift in their world view.
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Revelation
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 11, 2011 06:28 PM |
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ADHD, isn't it how you label kids when they are obviously bored at school and would rather play outdoor? seems a bit surprising to me that someone wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything at all.
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 11, 2011 06:30 PM |
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Well, who are we to say Fauch? Neither one of us have ADHD I believe. I mean the first thing we were told in my school was that we should try to sit on our hands, keep them under our legs, while listening. I did that easily, but many of the other kids couldn't, I didn't understand why, back then I was very fine tuned with my emotions, I suppose, maybe more than others. At least I never had troubles doing what I was told, words such as procastination made no sense to me, stuff like that.
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted May 11, 2011 06:36 PM |
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Quote:
ADHD, isn't it how you label kids when they are obviously bored at school and would rather play outdoor? seems a bit surprising to me that someone wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything at all.
No ADHD is not that but it's extremely difficult to concentrate on one thing before going off to another thing or hard to listen to others before you just focus on something else. You can concentrate on things but it's just very hard to do one thing at one time without having such urges to do something else. I can't explain it much better than that unfortunately. I find it hard to explain exactly what goes through my head when doing something. :/
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 11, 2011 06:42 PM |
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I'm certain we all would find it hard to explain, will! Thanks for your insigths, btw.!
I wonder if it's possible to develop ADHD as an adult? I've only heard kids growing out of it, not the other way around.
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smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted May 11, 2011 07:10 PM |
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Edited by smithey at 19:10, 11 May 2011.
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@ Shyranis
Quote:
To answer the original post:
Yes, you can change yourself. but it takes a high degree of self awareness and looking out for your behaviours you wish to change. From there you have to force yourself to pre-emtively stop when you're about to behave that way. This can allow the habits you want to do to replace them if done enough (instead of say sneering, you chuckle. You can completely replace your sneer with a chuckle).
It's a very difficult thing to do but with perseverance you can change yourself.
You cannot change other people, but sometime you can annoy them into changing themselves. You're more likely to make them hate you though.
You've missed the point of the thread, the question raised was whether one can change himself/one's prime traits which make him who he/she is... changing behavior is easy it's called self control and it changes only your appearance and how you are perceived by others, pick any random person out there (even your close friends) and if you pay close attention you will notice how each and every one of them (including yourself) is mimicking certain behaviors, even those who claim they are always themselves and don't care about what people think of them are simply lying to themselves because we all wear masks to some degree.
Being cold as ice on the outside while having an emotional storm on the inside that is just you having self control not changing...
Example of a true change would be -
If you see kids dying of cancer and feel empathy that causes you to cry (that is your core trait), if you learn how to feel empathy but not cry (that's changing your behavior) HOWEVER changing your core trait would be seeing kids dying of cancer and not feeling empathy at all.
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 11, 2011 07:18 PM |
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We aren't our emotions. They're just part of us. Our emotions do to a large degree decide our habits. But it goes both ways. Change your behaviour and you change your emotions. One of the simplest example is the awkward emotion. The one you feel if you, e.g. start using left hand, if you've always used right hand. The first two weeks or so it's awkward and you're clumsy. Then you realise you've improved both your right and left hand skill in only a month or so and the feeling of awkwardness that have throughout your entire life kept you away from using left hand to the degree possible, is gone. If you stop using left hand again, you'll gradually loose the skill you've gained, and after years every advantage you got from those few weeks of hard work will be gone. If you just reactivate those skills once a month, it can easily take a lot longer time for those skills to dissapear eventhough the frequency is so low it's not really doing it.
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del_diablo
Legendary Hero
Manifest
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posted May 11, 2011 07:45 PM |
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Quote:
II wonder if it's possible to develop ADHD as an adult? I've only heard kids growing out of it, not the other way around.
No, it is not "possible".
At the closest case your brain would develop towards something that resembles ADHD, but what is required to actually have it is soo different from a normal brain that you can not even reach something that looks like it.
Besides, you can never outgrow ADHD, only get used to it.
Just like you can learn to supress all urges to a quite large extent.
Or you might even figure out a way to get your body to obey you, such as keeping it just worn out enough for it to not kick into overdrive.
Then again, with a lot of kids being misdiagnosed ADHD, ADD and asbergers I frankly could care less for this debate.
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted May 11, 2011 07:53 PM |
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Like Del said, it's not possible to outgrow it. You always have it. You can't "grow" it when you're an adult as well. You either have it or you don't. Simple as that really. And you can try as hard as you want to try and keep your body worn out, as you say, but you'll find that you keep doing things and you don't even realise it.
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted May 12, 2011 04:49 PM |
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Edited by Corribus at 17:06, 12 May 2011.
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It's important to break this down into two component questions:
1. Can people change their emotional responses to external stimuli?
2. Can people change their behavioral responses to emotions?
I think we can all probably agree that the answer to the second question is "yes". The ability to make conscious choices about the way we behave - rather than acting completely on instinct or emotion - is arguably a defining characteristic of being a human. I suppose it is possible that some extremely sick individuals lack this ability, but in most cases, people who only act according to their emotions simply lack the will to do otherwise. Acting against emotions takes energy, after all. And generally acting with emotions provides a biochemical pleasure response. Meaning it can be, I suppose, addictive.
Question 1 is more challenging, if only because the science of emotions (both neurochemical and psychological) are not completely understood. At the most basic level, I'm inclined to say "no". Emotions are largely determined through factors over which we have little control: genetics, environment (including parenting), conditioning. Emotions are also part of an instinctual, fight or flight type of response. It's hard to imagine having control over whether you get angry or not in a certain situation. (How you deal with that anger is where you predominantly exercise control - see Q.2). Just as it's hard to imagine having control over whether you get hungry, sleepy, sexually aroused or any other biological response. There is some evidence that some genes make people more likely to be violent, or have other emotional states.
On the other hand, if emotional responses are partially determined through conditioning, then I suppose you COULD have some modicum of control over your emotional states. A person with a very bad temper (high likelihood of getting angry over small things) could gradually change this by a vigilant effort to change their life outlook. Reading books on pacifism or taking up meditation or whatever make actually make it less likely for you to get angry through conditioning. Changing emotional responses, to my mind, are almost akin to breaking addictions to a chemical substance - it takes a commitment to changing not only your behavior, but your state of mind. Not necessarily an easy undertaking.
Of course, then we must ask whether it's possible to truly be "cured" of an addiction? Just as an alcoholic can easily relapse by taking another drink, can an "angerholic" easily relapse by losing control of their anger? What I'm getting at - is a person really controlling their fundamental emotional response, or just controlling their behavior, when they try to change their "state of mind"? I think it's a difficult distinction to make.
Finally, there are always drugs. We know that drugs can change emotions - or at least, suppress them. Which make sense, because emotions are largely caused by chemicals in the first place.
Which leaves open the existential question: if people are defined at least partially by their emotions, and drugs can be used to artificially change emotions, then what value is a person? (I don't mean what value is a life - I mean what value is a personality) Is a person a permanent thing, if it can be so easily changed by an injection of this that or the other?
Is it necessary for your body to die in order for you to be killed?
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 12, 2011 04:57 PM |
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Really nice read
Quote:
f people are defined at least partially by their emotions, and drugs can be used to artificially change emotions, then what value is a person?
Well, at most, I'd say, this is a question of free will. So even a person with no free will, is still a person, in my opinion.
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted May 12, 2011 05:09 PM |
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Quote:
Well, at most, I'd say, this is a question of free will. So even a person with no free will, is still a person, in my opinion.
What I meant was - if it's so easy to change a person (by changing their emotions) using chemicals, then what is the value of a specific person? In principle, using the right set of drugs, maybe you could change any person to any other type of person. So what value does a certain kind of personality have - there is no more rarity or effort involved in making your personality (or emotional landscape) unique.
Moreover, if you change your emotional landscape, particularly "artificially", using drugs, are you any longer the same person? Have you effectively killed yourself?
Or is a person more than the sum of their emotions?
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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