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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 29, 2013 04:17 PM |
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Elvin said:
5 Reasons Your Online Dating Profile Is Not Working
-you are a boy
-all the girls' profiles are actually scams
-research results only show profiles that haven't been visited in years. (or scams)
-you don't use the picture of a russian super-model pretending it is you.
-err...
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Drakon-Deus
Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
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posted August 29, 2013 04:24 PM |
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Correct Fauch. And also "you have no expensive car or muscles".
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Horses don't die on a dog's wish.
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted August 29, 2013 04:35 PM |
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Hm where you are from, girl ask. If you tell I'm from X to girl. Not succeed  
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted August 29, 2013 04:45 PM |
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Ghost said:
If you tell I'm from X to girl. Not succeed
My guess is that the order of words when you tell her that may be your problem.
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Era II mods and utilities
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 29, 2013 04:51 PM |
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Ghost won't have a problem with girls, Sal. Remember, he uses "horse pill."
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted August 29, 2013 05:02 PM |
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Won't help if he speaks through his a$$. 
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted August 29, 2013 05:06 PM |
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I hasn't experienced love more than she hope X. And you said I was live in X. So what? If universe so what etc
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 29, 2013 06:06 PM |
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Tsar:
The problem isn't harassment - as far as I know, she's never been harassed - but that guys towards whom she feels friendly are often interested in her because of her various positive traits, and the way in which she acts sometimes makes them mistakenly think that she's interested in them too. She feels friendly towards these guys, so she doesn't want them to feel the disappointment of someone not reciprocating their feelings, she'd rather they wouldn't develop those feelings in the first place.
We're in a polyamorous relationship, yes, but that doesn't mean we're not selective. Neither of us would sleep with or enter into a relationship with just anyone, even if they're interested in one of us.
BloodSucker:
That's an interesting idea, I'll suggest it to her. Thanks. 
Edit: She pointed out a problem with the ring idea. It would only work on people who don't know her at all, and it doesn't matter if they're interested in her anyway (which they usually aren't). People generally become interested in her as they get to know her, so they'd know that she isn't engaged or married.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted August 30, 2013 01:13 AM |
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Edited by Adrius at 01:15, 30 Aug 2013.
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I can't really think of a way to solve it without her changing her own behaviour 
Doubt you can change an emotional response with logic like "oh she wears a ring I won't develop feelings then", that's not how emotions work in my world.
If she likes her friends as much as she seems to do, then perhaps a good way of showing that is to cut down on showing affection that might lead them to like her too much... as that might just lead to them getting brokenhearted. Respect their emotions by not leading them down a false path.
Easy to say, you don't want her to hurt either of course o__O but seeing things from a new perspective might help transition into a new way of behaving
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 30, 2013 01:21 AM |
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Adrius, the thing is, Mvass will never admit to himself he actually gets jealous.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 30, 2013 01:22 AM |
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Adrius:
Quote:
Doubt you can change an emotional response with logic like "oh she wears a ring I won't develop feelings then", that's not how emotions work in my world.
The idea is, it's more like "Oh, she wears a ring, so I automatically won't consider her as a potential recipient of my feelings."
Anyway, we've talked about this, and the conclusion we came to is that she'd tell people that she has a boyfriend shortly after meeting them (before they have a chance to develop feelings), and if they become interested in her, that she'd be open about not being interested in them. She doesn't want to change her behavior any more than that, and I don't think she should.
artu:
It's not a question of jealousy. I'm not jealous at all, I don't know how I can prove it to you, so you only have my word for it. The issue was that the way she acts causes people to develop a romantic interest in her more often than she'd like. She doesn't want people to feel disappointed. She's the one who told me about this issue, I'm not the one who brought it up, anyway.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Adrius
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Stand and fight!
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posted August 30, 2013 01:37 AM |
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That kinda reasoning exists on the conscious plane, emotions lie underneath that. I could tell myself that she has a boyfriend all i want but it still wouldn't change how I ultimately developed feelings. Reason affects how we act and relate on our emotions, but does not directly affect them at all.
It's a matter of communicating on the same level. If you communicate rationally with "I'm taken" but communicate emotionally "I'm available" then there will be issues.
Your solution is about as good as it gets without her changing her lovely huggy self
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 30, 2013 01:53 AM |
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Quote:
She's the one who told me about this issue
In the undiscovered realm of what women think, that may even mean "get jealous a little" but let's put that aside. I don't think you lie to me when you say I don't get jealous, so it's not a platform of proving things, I think jealousy, as irrational as it is, is kind of like a reflex, instinctive. Now, don't get me wrong, I live in a country where people sometimes still shoot each other for such matters, that's not what I stand for. What I say is, just because concluding jealousy is primitive, it does not disappear, it is still there. To deal with it is not denying it but accepting it. You must really read some Freud.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 30, 2013 02:48 AM |
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Adrius:
It's true that people can develop feelings for those in relationships, but it is a deterrent. If you think of them as "unavailable" from the beginning, you're less likely to develop feelings for them. It's still possible, of course, but less so than for single people.
artu:Quote:
In the undiscovered realm of what women think
I could do without sexist comments like this, thanks.
I don't know what to tell you. I can tell you that I'm in touch with my feelings and know what my emotions are, but if you don't believe that either, there's no point. I can tell you that I know other polyamorous people who just don't get jealous, but you can again say that you don't believe me (or them).
As for Freud, he was an unscientific crank. You weaken your case by assigning him any kind of authority.
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Eccentric Opinion
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 30, 2013 03:01 AM |
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Do you really think it's sexist to observe that us men, will never be able to understand women completely? Can they understand us completely? What's unscientific is to assume both brains work similar, neurologists have maps pinpointing the differences. Not while you're contemplating Spinoza sure, but while you are selecting a relationship, everything differs.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 30, 2013 03:16 AM |
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Variations within the population of men and within the population of women are high enough to eclipse the slight average difference between men and women. And even if brains are structured slightly differently between the sexes, they function the same. This isn't hard to discover if you're analytical and are aware of social norms. Much of the difference comes from the fact that men and women are socialized differently, but even that doesn't affect everyone.
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Eccentric Opinion
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 30, 2013 03:37 AM |
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No. The differences that are caused by social norms and upbringing are huge, you are right about that, the trap is that they are so huge, they sometimes make us underestimate other differences that actually do exist. You find yourself defending that of course a woman can be a heart surgeon, of course a woman can be a prime minister, of course a woman can be a director. But Sofia Coppola will never make a movie about the French Revolution like Francis Ford Coppola, she will have a woman's perspective and no man can tell the story of Marie Antoinette like "her"
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 30, 2013 03:38 AM |
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In my personal experiences, I have never seen any differences that could not be attributed to socialization. I've met a lot of different women and a lot of different men.
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Eccentric Opinion
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted August 30, 2013 03:41 AM |
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So our gender is just a detail like being blonde or brunette... Do you even hear what you claim?
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 30, 2013 03:50 AM |
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Basically, yes. I mean, there are obvious biological differences - the sexes have different genitalia and such, and apparently there are some differences in brain structure. But functionally, when you're interacting with them, they're the same.
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Eccentric Opinion
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