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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 28, 2003 09:47 PM |
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F.O.G.
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***The Fedeation of Gods***
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Welcome all gods of HC and worshipers of the gods of HC.
This is our temple, church, and meeting spot. For all who are too puny minded to understand, a group of gods here at HC decided instead of fighting a battle with each other that could never be won, we would instead form a federation of gods so now we can punish un-believers as a group.
Now presenting your gods:
Lord Woock: Almighty god of spam and short meaningless posts. With his power he protects the unwritten laws of the F.O.G. Go against this god and you shall feel his spam twice-fold.
Mighty Mage: Almighty god of Insanity and Order. His mind numbing powers can either drive you mad or leave you in bliss. Your choice.
M.I.A.Marelt Ekiran: god of the underworld and keeper of souls. Your eternal tourturer if you turn from us.
M.I.A.Celfious: god of wierdness. Pretty self explanitory.
M.I.A.Lord Crusader: Great god of the n00bs. He shall guide all n00bs to the light and teach them the ways of HC...SPAM.
M.I.A.2Xtreme 2 Take: Lord of the undead and deliverer of souls.
He's the god who will dump you into the HLMP or...uh, well, we'll work on that.
RedSoxFan3: The Almighty god of time. Whether it be past, present, or future, this great god shall always exist among you. BEWARE!!!
M.I.A.Vadskye: The great god of theivery and crooks. spread your worship to this great being or thou shall loose all left socks and remotes.
M.I.A.Asmodean: Even gods have to party every now and then. This is where the god of partying and wine comes in. Do not fear his charming seduction for all is well when this god is around.
Mvassilev: Temporary god of the grill. No other god has masterd the techniques Mvass now has. Will the full power of a charcoal grill, he can cook up a mean burger.
Ok all, you may begin worshiping us now.
***the federation of gods is in no way affliated with the HC goddesses or the temple of worship.(however we still remain friends)***
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted May 29, 2003 12:29 AM |
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Did I just hear people object to a plan laid out by the Gods of Spamming. Go on with it!!! Insult them with lengthy posts that make sense. I will be waiting for you in the Hell of Meaningfull and Lengthy Posts (HMLP).
*Evil demonic laughter.*
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Perception is everything.
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted May 29, 2003 04:26 AM |
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For those who have not seen it the first time, this is what will happen to the people who fail to worship the Gods of Spamming and write lengthy and meaningfull posts.
Now that I have proclaimed myself the god of the underworld, I should live up to the name. Therefore, I have made a description of my realms and the place where you will go if you fail to obey the gods of spamming and write meaningfull and lenghty posts. The Hell of Meaningfull and Lengthy Posts (hereafter refered to as the HMLP) has nine levels, since people sin in different ways.
Based on a description of Dante's Inferno.
The Purgatory.
This is where the true and loyal spammers go. They will be forgiven their occasional post of more than three words. These sins are burned away by the heavenly fire, after which the souls are ready to enter the Heaven of Spamming. Only the true followers and hard workers with at least five yellow stars and no quality points will go here. No others will be granted permission to the gateway to the Heaven of Spamming, where you will dwell for eternity among the mighty gods and receive your rewards for your life as a spammer.
Level 1: The Shores.
The Moderator Spamming Gods will guide you over the Vocabulary River, which is the border of of the HMLP. The virtious spammers who failed to live up to the requirements of ultimate spamming go here. It is a gray barren field, remote of the bright lights of the Heaven of Spamming. The souls of those who dwell here will suffer no torment. There is sadness here, but no pain. The only pain is the knowledge that you would be in the Heaven of Spamming, if only you had lived up to the requirements of the Gods of Spamming. Just as all levels of the HMLP, this level is final. No mercy will ever be granted.
Level 2: The Valley of Storms.
Past the shores, the mountain ranges of the HMLP start. Between the mountains is the Valley of Storms. This is where the souls of those who wrote posts with meaning and insight in them, but did not commit any crimes worse than that. They still have a decent post count, which spares them from the torments in the deeper levels of the HMLP. The souls of those who dwell here will forever be tormented by the tempest of cold winds that flows through the Valley. You will try to reach for the light, which you know is out there, but which you cannot see. However, the icy winds will pull you back to your place of eternal suffering.
Level 3: The Mudlands.
In a large field between the mountains, the clouds always hang. The cold and hard rain will forever torment the souls of those who have decended to this level. The Mudlands contain those who have brought live to meaningfull discussion with their posts, although they were spared from the branding with a quality point and have a decent amount of spamming. These souls will be caught forever in the stinking cold mud as the Monster of Grammatical Correctness hovers over them growling and saliving.
Level 4: The Dale of the Doomed.
Just before the River of Sense lies the Dale of the Doomed. The souls of those who dwell here are the souls of those who were lazy and did not make a proper attempt to achieve a post count that qualifies a spammer. Their posts did not flood the forum and create the proper amount of annoyance. These souls are doomed to labour forever by carrying immensely heavy piles of books and checking all of them ten times for spellings mistakes, after which the books get reprinted and have to be checked again. Capital Letters with whips ensure that no one condemned to this level escapes his or her punishment.
Level 5: The River of Sense.
The River of Sense is a backbone of the HMLP and the location of level 5 is in the waters of this horrible river. This river contains the souls of those who have a quality point on their name. The sin is obviously as bad as starting a thread of meaningfull discussion, presenting insightfull ideas and putting work in the post. The ones punished hear tear and claw at each other in despair as they blame each other for pressuring them to sinning against the Spamming God and wail as they are submerged in the black muddy water, tormented by worms, rats and bugs that slither over their naked bodies.
Level 6: The City of Quality.
Close the heart of the HMLP is the City of Quality. Surrounded by silicon walls, the souls are tied to electrical circuits and tortured by the amperages that they used on their computer for writing their despicable lengthy posts, that would sometimes even gain quality points. These souls wail in vain as Spellchecks sting them with their tridents. The gates of mercy are shut and shall never be opened for these sinners. The presence of the Watcher of All, puncturing the souls and stripping them bare with his merciless gaze can be felt now.
Level 7: The Woods of Promise.
This wood consists of horribly deformed trees with slime dripping from their branches and poisonous fruit. Hanging from these branches are the souls of those who deliberately gained the status of "promising" member, which clearly indicates the extend of their crime. The Red Star River, filled with boiling blood flows through this level, adding its smell to the stench of decay and death. Pain is given by the rain of burning stones and ashes that hails down on this level of the HMLP. Essays fly over the souls and tear them apart with their claws and add their excretions to the filth already present.
Level 8: The Arena of Responsibility.
The souls of those who sinned so much and so badly in their lives that they gained the status of Responsible are condemned to this level of the HMLP. Snakes invest the remains of the souls that were torn open by the presence of the Watcher of All. Boiling kettles of tar are poured over these souls, burning them for eternity and pasting them to the stinging letters of the articles that build this arena-shaped level. The wails of those who dwell here are too painful to hear as you join their ranks.
Level 9: The Heart of Honour.
In the deepest part of the pit that is the Arena of Responsibility, you will find the gateway to the Heart of Honour. This is the level where Marelt Ekiran, the Watcher of All resides. His gaze penetrates and tears up the souls of those who face him directly and the pain of his presence is unbearable. This is where the souls of those who sinned to the extend of the honourable degree dwell for eternity. Their bare mutilated souls frozen by the bitter stinging cold of the articles that he spews over his residence. No light or warmth ever enters this place, the place farthest seperated from the Heaven of Spamming, which these souls so actively opposed.
Upon entering, please give me the level where you should go and a valid reason why. My judges reserve the right to change any of these claims, which will usually result in going to a worse level.
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Perception is everything.
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted May 29, 2003 12:29 PM |
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To keep things organized, some paperwork will from now on be necesary to become a god.
Everyone who wants to join the FOD as a god has to fill in the following form:
Name:
Desired position:
HC password (optional):
Proof that you do deserve to be the god of ____:
e-mail address:
AIM/MSN/YIM/ICQ:
Appearance:
Other:
This form is to be sent to me via IM, e-mail or AIM. After that I will consult with Mad Mage ( ) here and the other gods of the Federation.
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Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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stargazer
Famous Hero
hero of order and life
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posted May 29, 2003 03:33 PM |
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I do not believe in you gods the holy god of life protects me! you are false and can be brought down! Just you wait in one month people i Stargazer will bring down one of these so called Gods. There is just a couple of more artifacts i need and then i will destroy these fakers. i shall reture in a three weeks to do battle.( he teleport out of there before they can attack.
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When we are young
Wandering the face of the Earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we're only Mortal for a little while
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted May 29, 2003 05:49 PM |
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*conjures two dozens of spam dragons*
Now go and find those artifacts!
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Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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silx87
Supreme Hero
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posted May 29, 2003 07:56 PM |
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I worship the god of weird stuff cuz I like weird stuff and I just saw Matrix:Reloaded,waiting for Revolutions now,Matrix is realy weird if u try to take it seriously and don't go see it just for the cool effects.
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted May 30, 2003 01:13 AM |
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Can I have stargazer when he comes back. He writes lengthy posts and has a quality point. Good enough for level 6.
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Perception is everything.
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lord_crusader
Promising
Supreme Hero
UHU!! supreme!
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posted May 30, 2003 01:34 AM |
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Now I know Who I'm, I'm the god of the nosense, mmmm or maybe I'm the God of the n00bs??? giacckk!! I don't know who I'm...
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Dig Out Your Soul
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted May 30, 2003 04:25 AM |
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted May 30, 2003 04:52 AM |
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Hmmm, another client. Sir Steven has two quality points and has given birth to a very long thread, in which he put a lot of work. Under ordinary conditions, I would consider this bad enough for a level 6 or perhaps even a 7. However, his post count and the last post he made here show that he is to some extend dedicated to the delights of spamming, which may ease his punishment a bit.
I'd say: The River of Sense, Level 5.
____________
Perception is everything.
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted May 30, 2003 10:05 AM |
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Hey, Stiven! Wanna be the Toss God?
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Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 30, 2003 06:05 PM |
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YES...A toss god, that's what we're missing. I have also reviewed Kitten's request and she has been accepted. I will look over Lord Echo's next.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted May 30, 2003 06:10 PM |
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Anyway, do we accept the God of Stupidity?
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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silx87
Supreme Hero
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posted May 30, 2003 06:16 PM |
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lol....dun u think we'll be getting too many gods if anyone that wants to becomes one!
baah!I dun want to be any god!
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted May 30, 2003 06:18 PM |
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no, we will only accept those to whose membership other members agree.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 30, 2003 06:20 PM |
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That is why not everyone is being accepted. It's our little filtering system. Personally I don't think we need a god of stupidity but This other guy can be our prohphet. Sorta like Moses. How's that sound?
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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this_other_guy
Famous Hero
{0_o} heh...
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posted May 30, 2003 11:53 PM |
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*GASP* I am flattered! Prophet sounds great.
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1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
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lord_crusader
Promising
Supreme Hero
UHU!! supreme!
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posted May 30, 2003 11:59 PM |
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and you will accept me?? with the god of no sense, or the god of the n00bs???
____________
Dig Out Your Soul
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this_other_guy
Famous Hero
{0_o} heh...
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posted May 31, 2003 12:14 AM |
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Worry not, mah child. Your time will come...
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1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
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