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perinajbara
Hired Hero
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posted October 10, 2012 08:08 PM |
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This is really a nice thread.  I have a girlfriend, and though we're a bit similar, we do have a lot of differences, which is nice. Heterogeneity is really something everybody should have in their lives, in every part of it. We've been going steady for a long time, and it's nice. Sure, arguments are present, but it would be weird without them. Anyway, Love has thought me to try to look for any way to help or contribute to anybody else's happiness and good will. It's really about selflessness in the end, which brings the most happiness, at least in my case, and I hope, in most of all of you people here. 
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 22, 2012 08:22 AM |
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Things are going better and better. It's very likely that this will be permanent.
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Eccentric Opinion
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted November 22, 2012 06:32 PM |
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How long have you been together now, Mvass?
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 22, 2012 11:10 PM |
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It's hard to say when the starting point was. Arguments could be made for us having been together for anything from several months to a year. Yes, I know that's not a long time, but it's not like we're getting married anytime soon. In a few years, probably. Also, she was my friend for two years before anything more developed between us, so I've known her for longer than a year. And despite us not being together for that long, we've spent a lot of time in each other's company.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 23, 2012 01:24 AM |
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A good idea is to wait around three years before saying anything about permanence.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted November 23, 2012 02:12 AM |
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Any amount of waiting time is useless, if it's wasted.
E.g. some couples gets married quickly and divorced quickly, but there are also couples which are married/together for many years, with children, who splits up.
What's really important is to know what to expect from eachother and acceptance of this.
Take for example a couple who gets children together, and when the child is 9-10 years old, his father leaves his mother, because he thinks she's having an affair.
So the mother allowed for a child, despite the father could be convinced to leave. Or the father allowed for a child, despite not realising he and his wife had a disagreement about something essential for him. So essential he was willing to leave his child for it.
Or another couple, where they meet due to common environment, wait a set period, before they get married and wait again before they get children. However when they child is 8-9 years old, his parents divorces eachother, because the environment they shared, getting drunk together, led to the father acting violent against the child.
Time is not essential, not being blind is. Obviously you can never know what to expect from someone for certain, but you can tell them what you'll never accept, no mater how unfair, what they'll never accept from you, no matter how unfair, and ask eachother if you can live under such conditions, forever.
In the first example, when the mere convincing of an affair was sufficient, one should really wonder, if this person can provide a stable upbringing for a child.
These were all example, not directed towards anyone or in relation towards anything which had been said except for that comment about waiting 3 years. It differs a lot between people, some will know all which they need to know in a week, while others won't even after 10 years. Therefore it's better to come to terms with what is required, rather than wasting time.
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Living time backwards
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 23, 2012 06:42 AM |
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DF:
Quote:
A good idea is to wait around three years before saying anything about permanence.
We'll probably wait 2-3 years before getting married, to see how well we live together, etc. But if things continue to be as they currently are for the next few years, we will get married. I have absolutely no misgivings about her - no thoughts like "She's great, but..." And our lifestyle plans are the same.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Seraphim
Supreme Hero
Knowledge Reaper
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posted November 23, 2012 09:55 PM |
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This thread is so romantic!
Actually, if there was everywhere a thread like this, it would make the universe care about humans and give each wife and husband a new planet to marry.
But for the love of love, I dont understand why people in the 21st century wwant to marry?
I for one cannot stand the idea, let alone the pratice, of being in a judicial or social union with another person.
Everything that can be done in marriage, can be done better if both parties decide to focus or whatever and not spend time and money for nonsense like marriage.
I for one will NEVER marry. Its just a formality of the past that deserves to be euthanized.
I am surprized that developed societies, such as the west, still cling to this nonsense.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 23, 2012 10:10 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 22:11, 23 Nov 2012.
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I don't really see the problem if people want to do it. though it looks more like an obligation than a choice. it's one of those case where you do it, because everyone else do it.
we even have debates about marriage of homosexual people, but never any debate about marriage itself. 
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted November 23, 2012 10:22 PM |
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Well to me marriage is an "official commitment" to that person, taking it a step further to show your love to everyone around you and that you're devoted and officially off the market. Also there are financial benefits in being married.
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Ghost
Undefeatable Hero
Therefore I am
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posted November 23, 2012 10:23 PM |
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In the future haven't the religion nor marriage ok? Adam and Eve doesn't have ring. Marriage means boy and girl are lives in house without parents. Remember it!
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 23, 2012 11:25 PM |
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Quote:
Everything that can be done in marriage, can be done better if both parties decide to focus or whatever and not spend time and money for nonsense like marriage.
You don't need to spend much time or money to get married. All the traditional "romantic" trappings of marriage (an engagement ring, a dress for the bride costing over a thousand dollars, an expensive wedding ceremony) are all optional. All you have to do is fill out a form with your partner, and then you're married. You can celebrate it however you'd like.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted November 24, 2012 12:13 AM |
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Quote:
All the traditional "romantic" trappings of marriage (an engagement ring, a dress for the bride costing over a thousand dollars, an expensive wedding ceremony) are all optional.
Yeah, right. I used to think that, too.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 24, 2012 12:18 AM |
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It depends on what you and your significant other are like. If neither of you has any particular desire for that sort of thing, then it won't happen. I'm not going to buy something I don't like for someone who doesn't want it.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 24, 2012 12:18 AM |
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Edited by Fauch at 00:19, 24 Nov 2012.
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Quote:
All the traditional "romantic" trappings of marriage (an engagement ring, a dress for the bride costing over a thousand dollars, an expensive wedding ceremony) are all optional.
optional from the male point of view 
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wog_edn
Promising
The Nothingness
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posted November 24, 2012 12:23 AM |
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Not really, my girl want a really really small wedding ... so it ain't gonna cost me alot! Not that I care anyway, as long as we get there eventually that's all that matters to me
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted November 24, 2012 01:39 AM |
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My wedding won't be perfect unless it's overseen by the pope, he is also welcome to oversee the said marriage being consummated.
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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perinajbara
Hired Hero
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posted November 24, 2012 01:52 AM |
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Marriage is somewhat of a social standard in some countries, and a lot of people tend to hold it as something significant in their love life. I don't think marriage should be the measure of anyones love or feelings, but a mere instrument to provide your children with additional benefits, if it provides any in your country. That being written, it applies to me alone, and anybody else who agrees. Those who do not, I have the utmost respect for. :-)
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted November 24, 2012 06:24 AM |
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lol @ Cor's comment
So Mvass, does she share the same political inclinations as you do?
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 24, 2012 07:47 AM |
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Quote:
So Mvass, does she share the same political inclinations as you do?
Yes, though she's more reluctant to voice them because she claims that she doesn't know anything about politics. But if coaxed even a little, she reveals that she knows a lot for someone who claims to not know anything. She's not as informed about current events, government policies, or history as some of us OSMers are, but she has enough political opinions to be able to talk about them, and her inclinations are very good. There have been many cases in which I have described some debate or controversy that was previously unfamiliar to her (attempting to be as neutral as possible), and she always responded as I would. She believes in self-ownership, so she supports things like same-sex marriage, legal euthanasia and abortion, organ markets, etc. She's anti-nationalist, so she's against current US foreign policy, supports an immigration policy that would let in more skilled workers, and supports free trade. Of course, she's an atheist and supportive of the separation of church and state (and she thinks religion is evil and should disappear).
She read Atlas Shrugged and liked it, agreeing with most of it, and disagreeing with some of the same parts I disagreed with.
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Eccentric Opinion
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