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| Thread: Do you ever cry? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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del_diablo
Legendary Hero
Manifest
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posted March 29, 2009 05:47 PM |
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If there is a real reason to cry, then i cry. That simple.
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phoenixreborn
Promising
Legendary Hero
Unicorn
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posted March 29, 2009 06:27 PM |
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Quote:
You're so twisted it makes no sense...
Says the guy whose ideal women is covered in blood.
Azagal explained that is how the culture where he lives views crying. He also explained that he thinks people should be self-sufficient, something you probably agree with. What is so twisted about that?
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Bask in the light of my glorious shining unicorn.
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted March 29, 2009 06:32 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
You're so twisted it makes no sense...
Says the guy whose ideal women is covered in blood.
Not saying I'm perfect. 
Quote:
Azagal explained that is how the culture where he lives views crying. He also explained that he thinks people should be self-sufficient, something you probably agree with. What is so twisted about that?
Crying is okay as long as no one sees it? Come on! That's just pure peer pressure. Laaaaaaaaame! 
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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veco
Legendary Hero
who am I?
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posted March 29, 2009 07:12 PM |
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I personaly don't cry not to cause a comotion or even worse - drama around myself.
Whatever floats your boar I say. If you feel like crying - do it. Unless it's to get attention = fake.
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none of my business.
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Guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted March 29, 2009 08:02 PM |
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@Azagal
I think I'm understanding where you're coming from; this is almost certainly a cultural issue. There is definitely a strong social stigma against the display of emotions in public where you live. I was shocked by the extremity of your views, but then I reminded myself that I've always lived outside of Asia. Things are so much more lax where I live.
What are your views on folks suffering from depression? Am I right in supposing that they're still expected to maintain their composure, regardless of their inner turmoil?
-Guitarguy
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted March 30, 2009 12:12 PM |
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Quote:
I was shocked by the extremity of your views
That actually made me reread my own post . And I guess some things I say come across as pretty cold. So I'll make an effort to make it as clear as possible what I mean.
1. I'm not a loner. I love humans and I feel great in a crowd. Emotions are a perfectly normal thing for everybody and thus one should normally not make an effort to supress them. Crying is one perfectly natural way of dealin with emotions, therefore crying is nothing "weak" or something "condemnable".
Now this is where my point lies.
2. While I say that crying is a natural reaction it is most certainly a sign of weakness (again in my opinion, and as Phoenix noted "weakness" may be too strong a word) if done in certain situations.
First let's define crying:
Crying is the natural reaction to very strong emotions. They can be either sadness, hapiness, you name it. So by crying you'll show my sourrdings that I'm currently in a situation I can't handle.
Now some people may be perfectly fine with showing that they're helpless, while others would be embarresed to no end. Both would react like this for various reasons which range from stupid (peer preassure, attention) to perfectly acceptable (they simply can't help it/ what I'll be trying to explain now).
If we can agree that "crying" will most certainly be a sign of a individuals inability to deal with the situation, then you have my reason why I say crying is a "weakness" as I said in "2.".
Now why would it be desireable to supress something that is natural? In my opinion it lies in the principle of the thing. As I already stated previously I'm convinced that people should be strong (meaning they should do their best to be strong). Strong mentaly. I'm not saying this because I'm some kind of fashist freak/have a superority complex or stuff like that. I'm saying this because being strong has several benefits for yourself and your surroundings.
Crying is the easy way out. That's why I don't like it. Of course the asian influences have been pretty omnipresent in my life but this issue is far more to me than "just" about "losing face".
It's about your ability to controle yourself.
And I believe humans should do their best to be strong. Always taking the easy way out is not something that'll get you anywhere in life.
In "1." I said that one should "normally" not make an effort to cry. By that mean that one shouldn't cry:
1. While you're being an example to somebody (this is arguable and depends on who you're being a example for)
2. In public
3. In front of "enemies" (people who want to make you cry/ who want to hurt you in one way or another)
4. In front of friends (this is a very personal view. Most certainly crying in front of your friends is nothing to be ashamed of since they're you're friends. But I still wouldn't do it simply to not make them worry about me and pity me)
Now Joonas was nice enough to make me realize a mistake I made earlier:
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(as you just said botteling it up till you're home and then letting it out is not something I'd consider weakness)
That was idiotic of course. What I ment to say was that you shouldn't cry at all. Pull yourself together get home and there you deal with your emotions by yourself or someone else(in my opinion everybody should be able to do this, but aparently I'm too optimistic). Should one not be able to deal with the supressed emotions and suddenly start crying I think that's perfectly fine, because one tried to deal with it before you chose to cry. It's the will and effort to prevent yourself from crying that counts. And I'm convinced that with enough mental strength everybody can succed in doing so.
@GG
Quote:
Am I right in supposing that they're still expected to maintain their composure, regardless of their inner turmoil?
You're right in so far that I exspect everybody to keep their composure. Your problems concern you and only you alone. But I simply don't know enough about "depression" to give you a decent answer. Eventhough I don't want to believe it I'm reasonable enough to not judge depressed people by the same standards I judge "not-depressed" people.
I'm convinced though that depression isn't some sort of sickness you can't do anything against. Getting "depressed" is afterall a long process and a number of factors will trigger a depression. There isn't ONE thing that'll make you go depressed. And if we see depression as a chain of events leading to the big break down then I'd consider them weak. Why? Because they didn't do anything to break the chain. They didn't try to controle themselves, seek professional help, talk to friends, whatever it is you can do to stop the development. The fact that they'd simply let the stuff happen would be what I'd consider weak.
I understand that there are unfortunate individuals who fail despite the efforts that they've made to prevent themselves from failing. Those are by all means not weak but simply unfortunate (sorry I don't know a better word do describe it).
And yeah sorry if I was repeating myself from time to time but it was more or less just to make myself clear this time .
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 05, 2009 10:55 AM |
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Can I tell you something very personal and something that is perhaps the most scary I have ever experienced!
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Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 05, 2009 10:56 AM |
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umm.. go ahead?
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 05, 2009 11:05 AM |
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As you might know I was in Berlin this last week with my class.
And something very scary and weird happened. It was thursday and I had been drinking ealier. But I am sober at this point
I have gone to bed but I cannot sleep. I am lying in my bed, my roommate is still out drinking at some disco. But I am lying in my bed and I cannot SLEEP. Totally insomnia. I try listen to some music but I end up crying.
I decide to go out for a walk, the clock is three at night or 02.30 or something. When I come out and start walking, I start talking to myself and suddenly I burst out in tears.
I am totally off, not psysically but mentally. I feel like I am two persons; One that is me psysically and one is a mental besides me!
I am crying and totally off, I cannot think strait or anything
I decide to call home and talk to my parents. So my mom answers the phone and I just burst into tears ones more and start saying that I feel terrible and I don't understand ANYTHING.
(this totally mentally)
I tell her that I won't do anything psysically to myself but it is all mentally and that I am totally away from my normal me!
I am very scared
After like 15min with her on the phone she gives it to my father and he insist I wake up mu teacher and talk to him. What a father says you do  So I do and I talk to my teacher and tell him the same things as I told my mom and dad.
We go for a long walk and I calm down.
I have no idea what happened that night. But I think it was a mix of Alcohol(we have been drinking for the whole week almost), a lack of sleep and homesick.
I have never been this scared in my life. because I couldn't put those feelings into words, I was totally off and I couldn't control my thoughts. really weird.!
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 05, 2009 11:21 AM |
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ummm... yeah, pretty weird  Weren't you taking any drugs?
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 05, 2009 11:23 AM |
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NO DRUGS! Never ever in my life! and no one have touched my alcohol!
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Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted April 05, 2009 11:35 AM |
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Did it involve strong feelings of sadness or something similar besides the crying?
Meaning was it only physical crying or also that you felt really sad?
____________
DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 05, 2009 04:18 PM |
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You know I was crying of course and I felt sad and upset inside perhaps.
I have a hard time putting words on what I felt it was so.. abstract..
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted April 05, 2009 04:27 PM |
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Then I know what you're talking about.
I get those emotional surges sometimes. They can be other emotions than sadness too, anger, happyness, depression... etc.
The happyness ones rule! 
But beware, they can make you pretty care-free and lead to foolish bravery and pure stupidity. 
Depression ones suck, they make me want to make a suicide. 
Last time I checked that's not he best way to go in life.
The key to living with them is self-control. If you lose it you're gone. But if you break up in tears you've got a problem there. If you start to get more of those you really should develop your self-control or you'll be in deep trouble if a depressive one hits you.  :
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted April 05, 2009 05:10 PM |
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Hmm I rarely ever cry because sadness for me turns into depression extremely quick.
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 05, 2009 05:32 PM |
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Same here. I never cry, but often feel totally down.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Ednaguy
Supreme Hero
My water just broke! No, wait.
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posted April 05, 2009 05:41 PM |
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Wouldn't it be better to cry and go on with your life instead of being depressed for days?
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"Edna, there's a special, tiny, tiny place in hell, waiting just for you... "
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted April 05, 2009 05:44 PM |
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Not always, and not in my case. Depression at least motivates me to do something regarding the problem -- ignoring it won't make it disappear even if I lie to myself. It's not the most efficient method but better than nothing.
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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Ednaguy
Supreme Hero
My water just broke! No, wait.
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posted April 05, 2009 05:47 PM |
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Yes, but you'd think/act better if you weren't depressed.
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"Edna, there's a special, tiny, tiny place in hell, waiting just for you... "
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Nikita
Famous Hero
Meepo is underrated
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posted April 05, 2009 06:10 PM |
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I don't cry unless i get very mad,then you can see a few tears.But that rarely happens.
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I havent lost my mind... I have it backed up somewhere 8-)
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