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LordTitan
Famous Hero
Hit Dice: 76d12+608 HP
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posted May 13, 2003 01:44 PM |
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LordTitan stared at the phony key.
"Oh well, atleast it keeps me in my normal form"
LordTitan began to skrub at the marble colums, they were covered in a green mossy color.
"Geeze, how long was this place abandoned?" he wondered.
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Spaek the Titan
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 13, 2003 05:33 PM |
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You think this mess is here just because it was abandoned? Your stupid titan army caused A LOT of damage.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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I
Famous Hero
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posted May 13, 2003 08:37 PM |
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Yay for that giant man with that golden helm!
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 13, 2003 08:38 PM |
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<…And so it came to pass that the Spirit of the Goddess saw that the Land was desecrated and needed a real hum-dinger kick in the pants to get it going again. And in considering that the Temple was a place of equal opportunity employment, the lone Goddess Romana in her wisdom and generosity saw that there was good in the Peacemaker, and that Peacemaker had powers that might prove worthy of the Temple. And so it was, too, that when she learn't that Peacemaker was being considered of this Honour, in a telepathic message from the Great IM World of Beyond, Djive herself did so assign Peacemaker with a special set of instructions to fulfill as a condition for the return of Djive to the Land of the Temple and the fulfillment of Peacemaker's probationary period. And thus it was decided Romana should grant Peacemaker the status of a probationary Goddess…
<And the word spread throughout the land that there was to be a great ceremony, and that the Temple was to be revived upon the gathering of the Twelve, and slowly, one by one, each of the Twelve came to know himself to be one of the Twelve…
(Alright, so get on it guys, spread the word)
<And one by one, the Twelve hooded unknowns came to gather around the site of ritual, and as they gathered within the Temple, so did Romana begin to recite the mystical incantation she herself once received…
Astrackar braggath Braunschweigar unt Brat...
Astrackar Braggath Braunschweigar unt Brat...
<And as the Goddess Romana spake (speaked? –spoke??) Peacemaker paused, at first reeling under the power of the spell, staggering once, then caught herself on a Temple column…
liktumee ant earrrrrlooob -- liktumee ant earrrrrlooob!!!
Astrackar Braggath Braunschweigar unt Brat...
<And as Romana continued the incantation, a great glowing warmth began to emanate from Peacemaker’s middle section… Her gaze turned downward to the glow with mouth-gaping surprise, then found herself gasping for breath. With a perplexed countenance, as though someone else controlled her movements, her arms involuntarily began to rise as though to gesture out over the twelve unknown hooded men in the room. As though through the voice of another (and with an even more perplexed look on her face), Peacemaker herself slowly, deliberately began to speak.. >
"Now gather here, the Twelve of you who have come to know yourselves to be the Twelve, and behold the gift the Goddesses shall bring…Thou shalt receive the gift and in its giving in return thou shalt promise to undertake a quest for the Box and the solving of the Riddle (set forth by Djive on page 21 of this thread)…"
<The foreign mystical tongue of Romana’s voice continued ever more fervently, her tongue skillfully reciting the ancient words --
Noacant cum vit unt headache -- qvik getheasparin!!!
<The glow within Peacemaker’s armour spread throughout her body, beaming through the crevices in the metal, then seemingly lifting her up off the ground. Peacemaker’s spine straightened as though suddenly occupied by some unseen force. She appeared to become lost in a trancelike state. The warmth of the glow began illuminating the hoods of the Twelve and they lifted their heads to behold the Goddess. Peacemaker's voice continued:
"I am the great goddess of true union of Spirit; the coming together and making of Love and Light (and the utilization of whatever implements come to bear in making this happen, be they revealing underclothes, sundry oils, toys and attachments, or whatnot)…And I shall be known as the Goddess of the Ultimate Long-Distance M******* O***** (hereinafter referred to simply as “long-distance MO”), She of Internet Foreplay… a.k.a. INJUN TART!!! (No, no, on second thought, forget that past part…)
"I am she who observes no obscenity laws, seeing the very concept of obscenity itself arises from religious fears, the trials and teachings of social hypocrisy, and the treacherous woman-hatred of misogyny!!!"
<Peacemaker continued rising ever higher up through the vaulted walls of the Temple, glowing more and more brightly, her voice growing more ominous, now echoing through the Temple –
"All misogynists will look into my eyes and DESPAIR!!! Seeing thy glorification of the rod and defiling of the box is hollow and can come to no true pleasure, thou shalt come to know the pathetic imitation of spiritual union your childish shallow coital attempts have thus far embodied – In seeing this, thou shalt FALL to your knees and be yourselves HEALED of thy misogyny in the face of the light of the purest true wisdom – THE ONLY REAL ECSTACY – THE ONLY TRUE PLEASURE GAINED IS PLEASURE RETURNED – THE ONLY PLEASURE RETURNED IS THE TRUEST OF TRUE LOVE and the BIGGEST OF ALL BANGS –"
<A shocking rumble of thunder shook the walls of the Temple. Romana raised her voice so that the continuing stream of ancient words could be heard above the din. As she feverishly repeated the sacred incantation, Peacemaker’s armour began to fall away a piece at a time and vanish, revealing a blinding glow beneath it --- the Twelve now raised their hands and peeked forth from their hoods to try and block the blinding light and get a better look - the Voice of the new Goddess now concluded -- >
"Thou shalt come to the Goddesses and repent your cruel ways, and seeing thyselves within the box, thou shalt make peace with it and SOLVE THE RIDDLE! Only then shall the LAND once again be made WHOLE – "
Romana now chanting at fever pitch --
liktumee ant earrrrrlooob!!!
Astrackar Braggath Braunschweigar unt Brat...
Noacant cum vit unt headache -- qvik getheasparin!!!
<The Goddess’s body slowly rotated as her back arched ---- the voice of the new Goddess began echoing ---- >
"Ahhhh... Ahhhh.... AHHHHH --------------------- ONE --- MORE --– THING ---- BE THOU GENTLE WITH THE LITTLE MAN IN THE BOAT!!!!!!!!! --- UNTIL, WELL,
-- NOW! YEAH!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!"
<Whereupon, a great, delicious blinding explosion like a booming chorus of voices from the Met sang forth from the body of the new Goddess, thrusting off a thousand tiny fragments of light shimmering and showering down upon the new Disciples of the Temple, each one receiving into his body a spark of the woman-goddess-energy. One by one, the each of the Twelve fell to his knees, sobbing, grunting and panting desperately, each now writhing about, gasping, yanking at his hood, and tearing at his clothing as though to release the growing spasms of pleasure now pulsating through his turgid body... One by one, the identity of the Twelve was thus revealed... Boy was it revealed…
<And the Twelve became more and more frenzied in their writhing and groaning, until all at once, twelve alarming lightning bolts of internet electricity boomed forth, jagging from the loins of the prostrate Twelve as their bodies grew instantly rigid with a great unifying spasm – the bolts arced up through the air, striking the Goddess’s glowing apparition –
<In a mind-numbing, blinding explosion the exchange of internet electricity became complete. The rumble of the thunder echoed off into the distance... A gentle rain began patting down upon the Land outside the Temple..
<Knocked completely unconscious, Peacemaker’s apparition floated gently to the floor as though she had become a feather...
<And lo, a great, abiding Peace fell upon the Land…The gray skies parted and the sun shone through. Tiny green plants sprouted everywhere, blossoming brightly-coloured flowers, the faces of the babes were young again, the waters flowed clean, and Cat's quiche didn't fall. And so it was that all was well in the Land of the Temple... at least for the meantime…
<Miles away, the Gootch, still sitting on a rooftop contemplating his next plot development, sees a flash on the horizon in the direction of the Temple, followed a delayed, mightily roaring bang – as the blinding light diminished in a moment, something akin to a mushroom cloud appeared...
Uh oh----
<He thinks, but it is too late. The shock wave ripples too rapidly outward over the ground toward him and blasts through his skin before he can assess its true character….The Gootch begins to slip from the rooftop, desperately clutching onto a nearby chimney to keep from being blown off, and as he hangs on for dear life, something begins happening...>
<Peacemaker finds herself lying quietly in the corner in a long white gown, her long black curls and large green eyes finally revealed to the Land. Greatly rose-flushed, though apparently deeply gratified, she calmly looks about at the men folk now lying about the Temple, sobbing and exhausted with inconceivable pleasure, seemingly incapable of moving other than to shudder periodically…
<Damn, (Peacemaker thinks to herself) ...Got the distinct feeling I just had sex with… Tim Allen…???
<As though just having awakened from a long, deep sleep, Peace slowly stretches a long, leisurely stretch with a deep breath and a long, drawn-out, thoroughly satisfied sigh. She sits up on one arm, rubbing an eye with her free hand… She looks over to see Romana, now too sitting up, stretching…
"Hey, thanks Romana. That was a trip, lady. Whatever it was, you should can it and sell it in sixpacks. You’d make a fortune, girl...
"Hey, what’s for dinner? (Peacemaker gets up, still stretching) Anybody else as hungry as I am???? You say something about tea and crumpets???? Yeah, I sure could go for that right at the moment... (She glances out over the floor) Oh... Maybe we should wait up for the guys there. Looks to me like they should all be up and about in a minute or two... Well, maybe not. Perhaps I’ll have just one bite..."
<Peacemaker walks to the table, picks up a crumpet, and leans up against the table. Now casually taking nibbles, she turns to Romana, gestures out to the floor with crumpet in hand and says through her cheekful: >
"Say, you know you could probably take your pick there hun. I think they’re probably pretty much helpless right at the moment... (Peacemaker swallows, pauses for a moment obviously in contemplation before taking another bite...) Say, Romey. Did you get the feeling like you really had to pee right after they did this goddess thingie to you???"
<Returns her attention to her meal, then glances up once again at the Twelve, as a lone voice willows drunkenly up through the pile of kerpleweyed menfolk, singing the refrain of a song by BOYZ-2-MEN...>
"Say, Romey… You think they’re gonna be alright???"
____________
I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted May 13, 2003 09:00 PM |
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I wonder when i'm gonna get my voice back?
All that screaming sure didn't do me any good but the effect was nice
*gives peace a satisfied grin*
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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Khayman
Promising
Famous Hero
Underachiever
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posted May 13, 2003 09:30 PM |
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One Question For Goddess Peacemaker
For crying out loud, what in the name of goodness is the 'ultimate long-distance Mystical Oyster' anyway? I am so confused... 
Sorry to interrupt the fantasy, please continue...pretty, pretty please...don't stop...I'm almost there...
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"You must gather your party before venturing forth."
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted May 13, 2003 09:34 PM |
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Edited By: Romana on 13 May 2003
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Well duhhh
It's a long distance afrodisiac
(i think)
Anywasy..moving on
*Gosh i really need to pee*
edit: Here's the riddle again
The people here had so much but valued so little.
To bring back the Goddesses, solve the ancient riddle.
And find among the members of the community;
At least a dozen worshippers with proper faith.
They must then all speak the most magic word,
lest the Goddesses will be gone forever.
good luck!
____________
The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 13, 2003 09:39 PM |
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(whereupon, Romey and Peace respectully requested that all those in the land refrain from tossing on this thread until the Twelve come to post and reveal themselves...)
EDIT:
<Whereupon, Peacemaker suddenly realized that lo, she'd missed nearly two days' work time composing the above post. So she quickly brushed the crumbs from her hands and went to change for work, where she will probably be occupied for the remainder of the week.>
('Sokay, my work is done here for now anyways....)
____________
I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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LordTitan
Famous Hero
Hit Dice: 76d12+608 HP
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posted May 13, 2003 10:24 PM |
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LordTitan spashes water over the colum. He walkes over to the black marble alter, after 15 minutes of scubbing it turns out that the alter was made of fossilized chocolate.
Suddenly a thought comes into LordTitan's head.
"Where are all the windows?"
____________
Spaek the Titan
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 13, 2003 10:54 PM |
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AH HEM. We're waiting for the Twelve to reveal themselves if you don't mind.
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted May 14, 2003 01:21 AM |
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I actually wrote an answer to the riddle on the same page, solving all our problems. So I'm not going to join the alliance of 12. Who's with me on this point?
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 14, 2003 02:08 AM |
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You wrote a response, but you did NOT solve the Riddle.... now are you in or not???
(Loved your response by the way)
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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LordTitan
Famous Hero
Hit Dice: 76d12+608 HP
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posted May 14, 2003 02:16 PM |
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"The answer is Rincewind"
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Spaek the Titan
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 14, 2003 03:01 PM |
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*talking to Drake*
And that's why drugs are BAD.
Anyway, Welcome to the life of goddessness or whatever Peacemaker. So anyway, about these 12. Are they by any chance those origional worshipers like Oldtimer and well...uh...Oldtimer?
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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LordTitan
Famous Hero
Hit Dice: 76d12+608 HP
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posted May 14, 2003 10:18 PM |
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Nah waiting boring. Lets play Hungry Hungry Hippos!
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Spaek the Titan
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Saruman
Famous Hero
On academic leave
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posted May 14, 2003 11:36 PM |
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I appologize in advance for any hostilities felt in the comment below.
I'm with Marelt. We don't need these goddesses to make our life worth living. A bunch of gals who fell off the cabbage truck if you ask me. There are many other gods and goddesses that solve the problems the these 3 or 4, whatever it is now, say that they can.
And another thing: MM is right, the only real worshipper was Oldtimer, (If you've read this whole thread) he was the only one to "Worship the goddesses in the proper way". So it should be "The One", not "The Twelve". There never were twelve, and if people stay in the right state of mind there never will be.
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Thank god I'm an atheist.
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 14, 2003 11:49 PM |
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Saruman get a life. (LOL!!!) This is roleplay, man. Nobody's twisting your arm. Thou art free to leave the Temple at any time. But clearly you didn't need me to tell you that, did you?
Like do you have a problem with authority in general, or women in specific, or what???
And by the way, if your reference to falling off the cabbage truck concerns our youth and/or lack of experience, well I just hate to tell you how wrong you are about that. (However, I for one thank you for the implications.)
Now, where was I?
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Saruman
Famous Hero
On academic leave
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posted May 14, 2003 11:52 PM |
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Quote:
Saruman get a life.
Didn't you read my signature? In case your eyes fail to realize it because of some sort of disorder, it says: I don't want to get a life: I'm living three already.
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Thank god I'm an atheist.
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 14, 2003 11:54 PM |
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Well then, what are you doing around here peeing on our parade???
Clearly, judging from your mood, you were NOT in the room during the ceremony. I would punish you by saying, no more long-distance MO's for you, but unfortunately I think that's your problem. You're only making it worse for yourself, man. So whaddayasay? Wanna play??? If not, then as they say, "don't go away mad, just go away..."
(And yes, I DID read your signature. This was precisely my point...)
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted May 14, 2003 11:59 PM |
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speaking of signatures..
I kinda like mine
Besides..we're all having fun here anyways and since in the
"Please only naked girls"-thread there are no girls feel free to drop in here and worship us
About the twelve.. It's called a R I D D L E
Now scram and figure it out else Djive isn't gonna come back here.
Djive not being here....now there's a thought
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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This thread is pages long: 
