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| Thread: Do men really want to have children? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 19, 2014 01:29 PM |
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To the latest two posts:
"Assumption is the mother of all mistakes" 
@Sandman
Joonas said it was in lack of a better word.
This is how I understand it:
What is best A or B?
First we start off with A (not having a child). Then we try B (having a child). But B may generate some kind of bias, with which I mean it may have an effect on our opinion about A because of B. So while we've first tested A, the moment we tested B, our A test changed to A if B. No one ever tests B without A. That is, no one is a parent first and then not a parent.
I don't think it's meant as some kind of criticism, only that the age old "you don't know it before you try it" is too simplistic.
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Living time backwards
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Aron
Known Hero
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posted May 19, 2014 01:37 PM |
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Edited by Aron at 13:43, 19 May 2014.
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Lol Ohrof are you making up your own quotes now?
edit: alright you're not but it still doesn't make sense. I'm assuming she means something and then changing that assumtion because she has most certainly not made it clear but because it's not tilting in an other direction.
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Sandman
Known Hero
Fearsome Warrior
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posted May 19, 2014 02:02 PM |
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Yes i am bias but not delusional. However i believe that others who do not wish to have kids are also bias. Therefore none of us can give a un-bias view on this really 
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 19, 2014 02:03 PM |
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It was directed at the whole "Meroe wanna have kids" thing. 
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Living time backwards
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Aron
Known Hero
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posted May 19, 2014 02:41 PM |
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She says she doesn't no? At the same time she thinks people want to get her into the sack by saying they do. Doesn't make sense. If you're serious about getting kids with someone then you will probably talk to them about it and they will tell you if they are ready or not or don't want them at all perhaps as her. So all her thoughts and arguments are basically invalid or I don't get her question at all.
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Baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted May 19, 2014 03:09 PM |
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Edited by Baklava at 15:14, 19 May 2014.
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Quote:
And Bak - I don't get it????
A poke at the title. The primordial tendency of women taking a matter of personal preference between different human beings regardless of gender and wondering how men feel about it.
How do men feel about having kids? Same as women feel about vegetarianism. I'm not a vegetarian. I don't quite understand male vegetarians, and the only reason I understand female vegetarians even less is how they can lead functional lives without playing with their breasts all the time. Which is not related to vegetarianism.
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted May 19, 2014 04:22 PM |
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Edited by Corribus at 16:22, 19 May 2014.
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JoonasTo said:
Angelito and Corr don't exactly seem sad about having kids though, do they? As rough as it sounds, they don't know what they're talking about. They can't take a step back and look at their own situation objectively because of the emotional connections that tie them down.
With all respect, that's a bunch of bs, if only because happiness, sadness, regret, and so forth are all emotions. Basically what you're saying is that while I may think I'm happy (experiencing a certain emotion), I don't know what I'm talking about because I can't look objectively at the emotions that are making me feel certain emotions. It's a completely fatuous argument. Of COURSE, having a child builds emotional connections. And it is those emotional connections that feed into the very state of happiness and contentment I'm talking about. But there's no objective analysis to be done because happiness can't be objectified. You look at my situation and say, that's not happiness, but your judgment is impacted by the same emotional connections (or lack thereof) that you criticize as having played a role in swaying my opinion about MY happiness.
In reality, you don't know what YOU are talking about because you're trying to judge MY emotional state without having benefit of the emotional heuristics that play a role in determining it. For what it's worth, I am very much aware of the sacrifices that I make as a parent, and I do not claim that being a parent is the only way to achieve happiness.. or indeed a way at all for some people. Do I wish I had more time to play video games? To watch movies? To go out to nice restaurants without having to spend effort finding a babysitter? To have > $1000 of extra money to spend on myself every month? Yes, often I wish this. But, for me at least, there are plenty of things that counterbalance these sacrifices such that I judge having a child to be a positive addition to my life. Yes, age does play into it as well. Your priorities (and biological needs) change as you age, and they change in different ways for men and women. When I was 23 I doubt I would have judged being a father the same as I do now, even if the situation was identical.
And there again is subjectivity. So please don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, as though the state of happiness is an objective thing and I'm just too stupid/blind to know what's good for me. I find it offensive.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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Sandman
Known Hero
Fearsome Warrior
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posted May 19, 2014 04:47 PM |
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I couldnt of said it any better - totally agree with everything you just said Cor  
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 19, 2014 06:28 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 18:29, 19 May 2014.
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if joonas is a sociopath, as he said a few times, that would suggest he is the one who knows little about emotions. maybe feeling emotional connections with people is totally alien to him?
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Aron
Known Hero
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posted May 19, 2014 06:53 PM |
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Edited by Aron at 18:57, 19 May 2014.
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This whole thing makes the world a bit scary and explains alot of things. I used to think in terms of ideology and morality but I'm seeing much more that there is what is deemed tradtionally "good" and "evil".
That's not to say that sociopaths are evil. On the contrary you have some very kind and caring sociopaths out there (seriously) who simply enjoy that form of attention that they get.
But those are just two terms of many in an absolutist thought process.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2014 09:19 PM |
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Aron said:
On the contrary you have some very kind and caring sociopaths out there (seriously) who simply enjoy that form of attention that they get.
Yeah I don't think Joonas fulls under that category of sociopath there Aron. Me on the other hand
But to clarify something for you. I wasn't saying that all guys who told me they wanted children were hitting on me. Although that has happened. It was more of an example of some of the absent minded things guys say - without really thinking about having children properly. I just wondered if there was another reason why they would do that, other than attempting to seduce ????
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 19, 2014 09:24 PM |
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The voices! The voices in our penises! They call for kids. We must follow our masters.
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Living time backwards
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2014 09:32 PM |
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Very true words there Forfy
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted May 19, 2014 09:46 PM |
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meroe said:
It was more of an example of some of the absent minded things guys say - without really thinking about having children properly. I just wondered if there was another reason why they would do that, other than attempting to seduce ????
I don't know, maybe because they actually want to have children? It's comforting to know that when a man says he wants to have a child, the immediate conclusion some women make is either (a) the man is just lying about it to get into her pants or (b) the man's just stupid and couldn't possibly have thought it through.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 19, 2014 09:49 PM |
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Poor Meroe, only 20 posts pr. day and you wasted one of them on little me.
@topic
When it comes to children, I wonder how much planning is really done? The typical thing you hear is next to nothing, so it's no wonder that a guy can easily say "I want children", because
1) He doesn't have to anything, except maybe a marathon work out..
2) Things will be taken as they come.
Also there's the whole.. some chicks might dick a guy mature enough to be ready to be a "real" couple, with finances settled and in control, ready to provide, to compromise and to increase the family. To be there for her when she's down, but also to help her enhance herself.
But it's very different to say something and actually do it, and I think it goes both ways.
E.g. when it comes to schools, would you ask for the curriculum throughout every class? Look at the people who live in the area? Check out finals to see what your child would be learning? My impression is that parents are usually happy that they can find a place to put their toddler and then let the system do its work, and I think many children don't like that. I know I didn't.
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Living time backwards
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted May 19, 2014 10:08 PM |
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Corribus said:
I don't know, maybe because they actually want to have children? It's comforting to know that when a man says he wants to have a child, the immediate conclusion some women make is either (a) the man is just lying about it to get into her pants or (b) the man's just stupid and couldn't possibly have thought it through.
Oh I am more than willing to admit that could be my female prejudice there Cor. I put my hands up to that happily. That was also part of the reason I needed to ask.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Aron
Known Hero
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posted May 19, 2014 10:28 PM |
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Oh I haven't even made a guess about JoonasTo when it comes to that. Someone else had said he had said he was one.
I'm just going that he's a bit confused and thinks he's the smartest guy in the world without having experienced having a family first.
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Aron
Known Hero
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posted May 19, 2014 10:30 PM |
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meroe said:
Aron said:
On the contrary you have some very kind and caring sociopaths out there (seriously) who simply enjoy that form of attention that they get.
Yeah I don't think Joonas fulls under that category of sociopath there Aron. Me on the other hand
But to clarify something for you. I wasn't saying that all guys who told me they wanted children were hitting on me. Although that has happened. It was more of an example of some of the absent minded things guys say - without really thinking about having children properly. I just wondered if there was another reason why they would do that, other than attempting to seduce ????
I still don't get it.
Are you saying these guys are themselves confused or that they are trying to get in bed with you?
In what circumstances does someone start talking about kids today before even at the very least getting sure about that he *will* be getting some.
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Stevie
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 19, 2014 11:00 PM |
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This thread revolves around Meroe's prejudices more than it does around the actual subject.
My 2 cents.
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Jabanoss
Promising
Legendary Hero
Property of Nightterror™
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posted May 20, 2014 12:20 AM |
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Not really. I find the entire thread to be quite enlightening. It's interesting to read what men around here are thinking in regards of having children.
I particularly found Joonas thought's about rather being mother than being a father to be very intriguing.
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"You turn me on Jaba"
- Meroe
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