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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted June 06, 2018 11:00 PM |
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Edited by Galaad at 23:01, 06 Jun 2018.
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Oh look, a fresh update in the game rules.
Galaad said:
Update 3 Ties are not allowed, you MUST choose a winner for a poetic win.
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 07, 2018 03:50 AM |
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But wouldn't that negate more than a few battles? 
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted June 07, 2018 11:32 AM |
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Nope. 
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Neraus
Promising
Legendary Hero
Pain relief cream seller
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posted June 07, 2018 12:29 PM |
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I would try to make an elaborate backstory, but Tsar wrote scribbles all over it about the philosophical and metaphysical implications of how his actions replicate those of the Greek heroes of old, then Ohforf ran over us snagging the post and ate it.
Forfy wins
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Noli offendere Patriam Agathae quia ultrix iniuriarum est.
ANTUDO
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Drakon-Deus
Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
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posted June 09, 2018 09:39 AM |
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Still not as many votes as I had hoped. I guess I shall announce the winner today.
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 09, 2018 01:24 PM |
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now we just have to wait a couple days for ohfor not to post(which is most likely, since he posts rarely), so we can pick this game back up again. 
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted June 09, 2018 07:29 PM |
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Don't worry Fred. Btw. turns out tie was actually broken long ago:
Elvin said:
Forfy wins.
Anyway, to get on with it...
Lady and Gentlemen, let's get ready to rummmmmmmmbbbbbbleeee!
In one corner, from the depths of the ancient glade at the impressive weight of three and three quarter universes and with a side dish of pokemon we have no one else than Gnomes2169!
In the other corner we have some Italian guy... *several bruises, broken bones and loss of functional poop later*
In the other corner we have the conquer of Carthage, our righteous crusader and the deliver of justice for Siciliy, no one else than the follower of God's will, Neraus!
Deus Vult Deus Vult Deus Vult Deus Vult Deus Vult Deus Vult
Gnomes2169 Vs. Neraus
Let the carnage fight begin. 
...
And we have a winner! It is no other than... NERAUS
Best Kookadooga answer:
Kipshasz said:
To the battle, Gnomes summons his party of pokemon.
Neraus comes prepared, with the power of Christ at his side, and his 4891561894618956416523+ brothers and cousins, all in full plate mail from the forges of Milan an armed with the finest armaments known to man manufactured by the oldest continuous gun manufacture - Beretta. It's a full on vendetta here motherbleepers.
Gnomes is reduced to mince meat from the power of DEUS VULT and gunfire. His pokemon are flayed alive, and their pelts are used to decorate the armor of the one and only true Emperor of the newly rising Imperium Romanum - Neraus the Pious.
Gnomes is ressurected by the power of Christ, only for his legs to be broken, and he, along his whole family, to the most distant relatives is crucified on the main road to Rome.
Neraus wins.
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Drakon-Deus
Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
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posted June 12, 2018 10:11 AM |
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Gnomes is busy roleplaying so he summons the other 2168 gnomes to fight Neraus, but unfortunately for them, the Sicilian relies on divine intervention which grants a sword with extra 700% damage vs. gnomes thus winning the battle. Gnomes2169 surrenders and Neraus spares his life, allowing him to return to his usual rp business.
Winner: Neraus.
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 12, 2018 04:19 PM |
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While neraus struts around like an elitist peacock, gnomes is busy in the shadows. Studying his prey; learning it's weaknesses. He first plans to attack his prey's ego, but then realizes that the best plans are sometimes the simplest. He goes with option b. In two days' time, gnomes bakes enough of neraus's achilles heel(which is undeniably, pineapple pizza), to fill neraus's home while he's away yelling at middle eastern migrants in the town square. Gnomes even goes so far as to use a pineapple glaze for the sauce, and to stuff all the crusts with pineapple chunks.
Gnomes then hides in a tree nearby with a clear view of his target's main entrance, and waits patiently while flicking peanuts at passersby.
Upon neraus's return from his job as immigrant-heckler, he opens the door and steps inside, to find the psychological trap laid out all around him.
Neraus has an aneurism and drops dead. Gnomes runs over, takes a smiling selfie with the corpse, and scampers off; back to obscurity.
Gnomes wins.
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Kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted June 13, 2018 08:50 PM |
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To the battle, Gnomes summons his party of pokemon.
Neraus comes prepared, with the power of Christ at his side, and his 4891561894618956416523+ brothers and cousins, all in full plate mail from the forges of Milan an armed with the finest armaments known to man manufactured by the oldest continuous gun manufacture - Beretta. It's a full on vendetta here motherbleepers.
Gnomes is reduced to mince meat from the power of DEUS VULT and gunfire. His pokemon are flayed alive, and their pelts are used to decorate the armor of the one and only true Emperor of the newly rising Imperium Romanum - Neraus the Pious.
Gnomes is ressurected by the power of Christ, only for his legs to be broken, and he, along his whole family, to the most distant relatives is crucified on the main road to Rome.
Neraus wins.
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"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted June 13, 2018 09:04 PM |
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Edited by Galaad at 21:15, 13 Jun 2018.
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Gnomes morphes into a hydra but Neraus was too quick and cuts off all of Gnomes heads in the flash of a Deus Vult! shout as soon as they were out. He looks at the ground then stares at Gnomes remains -splattered heads dispatched in blood. Another pizza traitor meets his destiny, he said, even though he had no knowledge whatsoever of Gnomes's relationship with pizzas.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted June 16, 2018 10:02 AM |
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Alright, two days are up and I kind of doubt any more are going to participate. Though I don't want to ruin anyone's chances either, so this is just a heads up that I'll choose the winner and the best kookadooga answer in 8-10 hours time.
Thanks to all those who choose to participate, good reads all around.
Edit:
I have made my choice now, congrats to Neraus for eradicating Gnomes and Kip for the best kookadooga answer.
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Living time backwards
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted June 16, 2018 07:26 PM |
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This is a great game.
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Neraus
Promising
Legendary Hero
Pain relief cream seller
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posted June 16, 2018 11:01 PM |
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Edited by Neraus at 19:35, 28 Jun 2018.
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I had to restrain myself from shouting DEUS VULT, EIA EIA MARGHERITA! But now, as my chains are lifted from the dungeon master I can finally achieve my dream!
No wait, that's not my dream.
Anyway, I'll be that wicked power that turns neighbours into foes, and what better than two former allies pitted in a bloody battle?
The next round is between the kraut and the kebab, let's hear it for...
JollyJoker VS. artu
Bloody hell I'm bad at this...
...
Coming from the east, bringing sweets all around and accompanied by lavishly dressed valets artu takes the win!
Best kookadooga Answer:
Galaad said:
Both enter the arena. Artu salutes his opponent, to which JJ replies "BS". Artu takes 30 minutes to explain why it is perfectly natural to salute an opponent before a match starts. JJ coldly replies "Nonsense", and without much wait summons a Valkyrie. Artu baits the Valkyrie with yogort mixed with garlic which she adores and completely forget she was supposed to fight for JJ. JJ then says another "BS" and leaves the stage in protestation, claiming none of this "BS nonsense" matters anyway and that he's better off listening to some good old Led Zep with a gigantic beer and sausages. Artu remains on the stage petting his cat, victorious?
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Noli offendere Patriam Agathae quia ultrix iniuriarum est.
ANTUDO
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted June 17, 2018 03:06 AM |
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You are not bad at it, you’re an outsider to it. That’s a good thing to be. JJ lost a wife to cancer, had I been through such a thing, I would drink like hell, lose myself. He didnt. I prefer to think of myself as someone who respects that, not competing with it.
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Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost
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Tsar-ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted June 17, 2018 03:37 PM |
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Well though titties old man you two are up, so suck it up.
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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Kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted June 17, 2018 05:40 PM |
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At first, JJ goes on full Blitzkrieg mode with that Panzer III he found in his dad's garage along with a complete set of a SS Panzer division uniform. He flies the kaiser flag, since the other one is illegal, and begins blasting the turk with the tank's main gun, as well as the MGs, but then remembers Artu is a turk, so he's arrested by the kraut thought police(half the Bundeswehr is also deployed to stop the rampage) for being waycist against pypo av kolor an muh religionz av pyc, and is sentenced for 1000 life sentences for a hate crime.
Kebab Joseph Watson is declared winner by default.
Artu wins. By just being kebab.
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"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted June 17, 2018 09:56 PM |
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Tsar-ivor said:
Well though titties old man you two are up, so suck it up.
Lol, I was very emotionally drunk last night, I was petting this little kitten I just saved from the street, dogs of the neighborhood were propably going to rip her apart if I didnt. So, she was sleeping in the couch with all her cuteness and I was feeling very noble and humanitarian. It’s also the first time I have a cat in the house since Tavsan died last year, the memories made me sentimental.
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Are you pretty? This is my occasion. - Ghost
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted June 18, 2018 11:05 AM |
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Both enter the arena. Artu salutes his opponent, to which JJ replies "BS". Artu takes 30 minutes to explain why it is perfectly natural to salute an opponent before a match starts. JJ coldly replies "Nonsense", and without much wait summons a Valkyrie. Artu baits the Valkyrie with yogort mixed with garlic which she adores and completely forget she was supposed to fight for JJ. JJ then says another "BS" and leaves the stage in protestation, claiming none of this "BS nonsense" matters anyway and that he's better off listening to some good old Led Zep with a gigantic beer and sausages. Artu remains on the stage petting his cat, victorious?
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 19, 2018 08:09 AM |
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Galaad said:
Artu takes 30 minutes to explain why it is perfectly natural to salute an opponent before a match starts.
lol, win.
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