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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted December 11, 2017 12:58 PM |
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Having failed with the creation of the perfect Animal Farm society, Napoleon dyed himself white, secretly moved to the US and ran a successful presidential campaign which nearly got him elected before his commie background got discovered.
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Maurice
Hero of Order
Part of the furniture
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posted December 11, 2017 04:56 PM |
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One day, Brian simply couldn't stand the police force being run by "those white pigs" and decided to take matters into his own hands.
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Kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted December 14, 2017 12:59 PM |
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Round 15 RATED!
Trogdor
Being America, every officer has to bring their own edible animal to the police BBQ on the proviso that said animal was taken from a "White Lives Matter" redneck moron.
That's racist. No lives matter. 3,5pts
EnergyZ
Brace yourselves
winter is coming,
and so is (swine) flu.
That's racist. 3pts
AlkarRahn
"Come on, Honey. I didn't know bacon was part of the ultimate chicken sandwich special. Don't let it ruin our date today Sweetie, please?"
That's racist. And sexist. 3pts
fuChris
Secret Service escorting President Trumps hair supply to a secure location.
Just kidding. There are no black guards on Trumps security team. They are all spy's for Obama.
That's racist. Also, the Trump curse has been applied to you. RIP pal. 4pts
Markmasters
"Ed, what are you doing with that pig?"
Ed: "educating people, they always call me pig, so it seems they don't know what a real pig is"
oh...poor ignorant Ed.
That's racist. 4pts
Damacon_Ace
The new mascot of the Southern Alabama Black Police: Peppa the Pig.
There are no black cops in Alabama, everyone knows that. And yes, that's racist. 3,5pts
Elvin
- Come on Porky.
- Nooo! I don't want to work in the police anymore!
That's speciesist. And racist. 5pts
Zenofex
Having failed with the creation of the perfect Animal Farm society, Napoleon dyed himself white, secretly moved to the US and ran a successful presidential campaign which nearly got him elected before his commie background got discovered.
That's orwellian. And not to mention racist. 5pts
Maurice
One day, Brian simply couldn't stand the police force being run by "those white pigs" and decided to take matters into his own hands.
That's so racist you should resign from modship. 4,5pts
Scoreboard
fuChris - 61.5
Maurice - 59,5
Blizzardboy - 23.5
Galaad - 34.5
NoobX - 41
Angelito - 2.5
The_Polyglot - 22
Trogdor - 45
EnergyZ - 50
AlkarRahn - 50
Elvin - 41
Minion - 9.5
Neraus - 12.5
Damacon_Ace - 48,5
Artu - 4.5
Gryphs - 3.5
Markmasters - 17
Friendofgunnar - 7
Zenofex - 23
Jayce8 - 0
Doomhammer - 4
Round 16
Tis the Season motherbleepers!
Will be rated on December 19th.
____________
"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted December 14, 2017 01:29 PM |
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Edited by Galaad at 11:08, 15 Dec 2017.
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And that is the main reason I do this job.
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted December 14, 2017 02:55 PM |
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Santa's on a brand new diet. He now eats exclusively coal.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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EnergyZ
Legendary Hero
President of MM Wiki
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posted December 14, 2017 03:23 PM |
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Whenever you hear "Ho, ho, ho!", it's just an incentive for Santa to take a dump. All that milk and cookies have to go somewhere, anyway.
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Maurice
Hero of Order
Part of the furniture
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posted December 14, 2017 06:42 PM |
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"After 49 years, this year has a different take on the concept of "Back Door Santa". The cause of this is Miss Santa finding Santa's name in the naughty book by sheer happenstance, and she realised the lyrics of the song were very true.
Little did she realise that when she went on a "Back Door Miss Santa" trip of her own, all those men ended up in the naughty book.
When asked about it, Santa's only reply was, "They shouldn't have misbehaved like that, but the nice guy that I am, I'm still dropping something down the chimney for them.""
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted December 15, 2017 06:53 AM |
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- Hey Mark, remember this Joss that sent us an application to work here? I have it on good authority that he is a bad boy, cancel his appointment.
- What, Santa pooped in his chimney or something?
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Markmasters
Famous Hero
Dragon of justice
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posted December 15, 2017 11:12 AM |
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the econimic market dropped, and Santa had to cut some expenses as well.
luckily he ate enough chili con carne to supply everyone
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AlkarRahn
Promising
Legendary Hero
Divine Arcanist
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posted December 15, 2017 01:34 PM |
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After consuming a bit too much eggnog, and gambling away his bag of holding, Santa had to come up with another method of getting the presents to all the children of the world. Just ignore the smell.
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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted December 15, 2017 01:52 PM |
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Naughty brats get serviced with priority this year. That fine youngster down there deserves at least 3 toys, the list says. Here we go... 
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Damacon_Ace
Famous Hero
Also known as Nobris Agni
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posted December 17, 2017 11:36 PM |
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Believing that coal isn't punishable enough for naughty children this winter, Santa has now thought of a way to teach naughty children how to behave: cover them in his discharge in order to humiliate them in front of everyone.
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No one knows my true nature here...
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fuChris
Promising
Supreme Hero
Master to the Speed of Light
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posted December 19, 2017 02:07 PM |
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Miss Santa Clause told him that maybe he could "hurry down the chimney" faster if he used some lube, What she didn't tell him is to not eat it...but hey, it worked one way or the other.
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"Now I am become Chris, the destroyer of worlds." - Robert Oppenheimer.
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Kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted December 19, 2017 03:29 PM |
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Round 16 RATED
Galaad
And that is the main reason I do this job.
It's fun to get back at the brats who pissed on you at the mall. 4pts
Trogdor
Santa's on a brand new diet. He now eats exclusively coal.
And he craps out a coaly, mushy type of coal. 3.5pts
EnergyZ
Whenever you hear "Ho, ho, ho!", it's just an incentive for Santa to take a dump. All that milk and cookies have to go somewhere, anyway.
It's harder in the recent years with all the soy milk and gluten free garbage. 4pts
Maurice
"After 49 years, this year has a different take on the concept of "Back Door Santa". The cause of this is Miss Santa finding Santa's name in the naughty book by sheer happenstance, and she realised the lyrics of the song were very true.
Little did she realise that when she went on a "Back Door Miss Santa" trip of her own, all those men ended up in the naughty book.
When asked about it, Santa's only reply was, "They shouldn't have misbehaved like that, but the nice guy that I am, I'm still dropping something down the chimney for them.""
Always thoughtful. 4pts
Elvin
- Hey Mark, remember this Joss that sent us an application to work here? I have it on good authority that he is a bad boy, cancel his appointment.
- What, Santa pooped in his chimney or something?
Joss eventually became the dumpster supervisor. because saying "bum" is jobist or something. 4pts
Markmasters
the econimic market dropped, and Santa had to cut some expenses as well.
luckily he ate enough chili con carne to supply everyone
Way cheaper than coal too. 4pts
AlkarRahn
After consuming a bit too much eggnog, and gambling away his bag of holding, Santa had to come up with another method of getting the presents to all the children of the world. Just ignore the smell.
Sucks to be on the naughty list these days. 4pts
Zenofex
Naughty brats get serviced with priority this year. That fine youngster down there deserves at least 3 toys, the list says. Here we go...
Santa had extra baked beans for this one. 4pts
Damacon_Ace
Believing that coal isn't punishable enough for naughty children this winter, Santa has now thought of a way to teach naughty children how to behave: cover them in his discharge in order to humiliate them in front of everyone.
He calls it "The Christmas Morning Browning" 4pts
fuChris
Miss Santa Clause told him that maybe he could "hurry down the chimney" faster if he used some lube, What she didn't tell him is to not eat it...but hey, it worked one way or the other.
One thing for sure, laundry is going to suck for a while. 4.5pts
Scoreboard
fuChris - 66
Maurice - 63,5
Blizzardboy - 23.5
Galaad - 38.5
NoobX - 41
Angelito - 2.5
The_Polyglot - 22
Trogdor - 48.5
EnergyZ - 54
AlkarRahn - 54
Elvin - 45
Minion - 9.5
Neraus - 12.5
Damacon_Ace - 52,5
Artu - 4.5
Gryphs - 3.5
Markmasters - 21
Friendofgunnar - 7
Zenofex - 27
Jayce8 - 0
Doomhammer - 4
Round 17
Will be rated on December 24th
____________
"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted December 19, 2017 04:02 PM |
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Mall Santa be like "If you think I'm fake, you should see Operation Repo".
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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EnergyZ
Legendary Hero
President of MM Wiki
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posted December 19, 2017 09:44 PM |
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Damacon_Ace
Famous Hero
Also known as Nobris Agni
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posted December 20, 2017 12:47 AM |
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"Well, it looks like I'm not going to be Father Christmas this year, but rather Father New Year's Eve as it's gonna take time to repair this sleigh."
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No one knows my true nature here...
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AlkarRahn
Promising
Legendary Hero
Divine Arcanist
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posted December 20, 2017 01:02 AM |
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After eating his entire set of reindeer due to cravings, Santa had to call the Critical Automotive Agency. Or, to him, seeing as how he actually owned it, the Christmas Assistance Agency. He had them send over of one of his special flying tow trucks. Danny just hoped he didn't end up like Dancer.
____________
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Maurice
Hero of Order
Part of the furniture
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posted December 20, 2017 05:06 PM |
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"Look, gramps, you're deep enough into problems already," officer Johnson explained, "since you:
- Are apparently pretty deep into eggnog;
- Have obviously mistreated your animals as you fed your reindeer eggnog too, one is even so drunk it has a red nose;
- By your own admission, have applied "magic dust" to your reindeer to make them fly, which might even be worse than the eggnog;
- Have exceeded safety packing limits for a vehicle this size;
- Are operating this vehicle without any of the attributes required by law, such as a number plate;
- Are not in possession of a valid driving license;
- Have tried to bribe an officer on duty with free presents;
- Have threatened said officer too, with putting him on some sort of list;
- Very seriously, have admitted you're a child molester, confirmed by the huge number of toys you're carrying to lure them to you;
So yes, as you're looking at several years behind bars at least I can assuredly state that us towing your vehicle away is the least of your worries."
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Blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted December 21, 2017 03:50 AM |
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After the latest failure, Santa and his elves gorged on lots and lots of venison during the post-Christmas crash.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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