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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted December 07, 2009 10:45 PM |
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Quote:
No, I met an absolute perfection. I'm not joking. A perfection that was on a brink of a suicide, crying for a stupid kiddo who dumped her, talking about him constantly. It broke my snowing heart. I didn't even know I had one. Other than that... she was perfect. She really was. Looks, intelligence, wit, interests, and many many more. The type of girl who can be really cute and also sarcastic at the same time. A diamond.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: you expect too much. Period.
No, I don't mean you don't have to be selective; I understand that perfectly. But when you meet a "diamond", how can you possibly break up for talks about her boyfriend, such a trifle thing (given all other in perspective), when you could just ignore it, given that she was after all a diamond.
You have no sense of perspective. Dropping a "diamond" like that only because of a small thing that could very well be temporary is the worst move you could make. And no wonder that you constantly TRY so hard (or at least DID  ) but could never find some relationship that works out for you.
I mean if you even refuse diamonds, what do you want? Anti-matter? You should have been grateful to even find a diamond. Problem with you is that, if you don't find THE absolute 'best', you ditch it like any other... bad, utterly bad move.
It seems like to you the difference between "mud" and "diamond" is worthless as long as there's something better that you aim for, anti-matter for instance...
Some people have much worse relationship problems and can't even find the diamond itself, and you DUMP her because she was talking about her ex all the time?
Here's what: there's nothing wrong with being too selective as long as you don't complain about being lonely, or you like being lonely.
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted December 07, 2009 10:57 PM |
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I gotta agree with death, in fact I'd go as far to say that looks are secondary and interests are tertiary priorities. Both are rather superficial. I mean, you mentioned becoming old together, you think she's gonna remain pretty after a decade or two? Different interests are usually not a problem. usually makes things more interesting.
I know it's kind of superficial to put looks as a priority, but if you like someone, that person is prettier to you anyway. I know from experience. Trust me
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 07, 2009 10:58 PM |
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted December 07, 2009 11:25 PM |
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Well, with interests I meant more...
The superficial term of the word. I assumed DF sort of meant an interest in video games, for example.
Oh, and for primary I'll go for intelligence, wit and personality. But hey we all look for something different.
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted December 07, 2009 11:30 PM |
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Question for Older Members
I'm not sure how many older posters we have here, but I have a question for you.
As you get older, say into your 30s, 40s, and 50s, do women of your age become more attractive looking relative to how they looked when you were a teenager? I'm not talking about the kind that might mature like wine. I'm talking about the standard female. Psychologically they would feel more compatible with you, but I'm just talking about appearance.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Carcity
Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
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posted December 07, 2009 11:50 PM |
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@Mvass and Death, love isn't rational or logical, you can't just say what love is, love is a special feeling that can't be put in a theory or something, love can differ a lot from one person to another, what I think is love might not be for you guys, the feeling of love and how we react at that feeling is different for every person, that's what makes us special.
and just for the record, if one truly loves someone, one loves that persons flaws too.
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Why can't you save anybody?
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted December 07, 2009 11:55 PM |
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Quote:
@Mvass and Death, love isn't rational or logical, you can't just say what love is, love is a special feeling that can't be put in a theory or something, love can differ a lot from one person to another, what I think is love might not be for you guys, the feeling of love and how we react at that feeling is different for every person, that's what makes us special.
and just for the record, if one truly loves someone, one loves that persons flaws too.
You start by saying that love is not quantifiable or defined properly, yet you did so with the second paragraph?
Yes I agree with the second (more like, accept that person how he/she is), I disagree with the first. I know it feels special to you, but trust me, you are definitely not the only one with it (which is what psychologists, not me, go and analyze ).
And I agree that love is not rational... but relationships should have a rational focus, not just fascination. Love=/=relationship.
not to mention that your parents probably also love you (yeah with your flaws and all that).
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted December 07, 2009 11:57 PM |
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Wonderful post death! 
We agree on this
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 12:14 AM |
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I think Death is right, and I would go further - love should be rational.
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Eccentric Opinion
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted December 08, 2009 12:32 AM |
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I think love in itself is an irrational desire.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 12:35 AM |
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Not any more or less so than any other desire - that is, if there's something you like and value, and then there's a person who's like that and reflects your values, it would be quite rational to love them, right?
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Eccentric Opinion
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted December 08, 2009 12:42 AM |
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It's impossible to know this human for 100%
Why would you take the risk of trusting a companion/ ally when all by yourself you can stand strong?
The desire for survival, food, knowledge, hygiene and some other things are more rational I'd say
Assuming a basic will to survive.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 12:48 AM |
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Often When you know what you're doing (which most people don't), it's worth the risk.
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Eccentric Opinion
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted December 08, 2009 04:55 AM |
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Mvass, emotions aren't really rational, however that doesn't mean you can't use them in a rational way (if you can/are willing), but by themselves they aren't.
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 05:01 AM |
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I agree, but you can first rationally construct a moral/value framework and then let emotions fill that in.
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Eccentric Opinion
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted December 08, 2009 06:09 AM |
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Quote:
not to mention that your parents probably also love you (yeah with your flaws and all that).
Good point...except for the fact that that's not what any of us are talking about. He was talking about love between two people not related, not a mother loving their daughter or something.
I agree with Carcity as well and Thedeath with his first post in this page about Doomforge having unrealistic expectations and all.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 09:13 AM |
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Quote:
I'm not sure how many older posters we have here, but I have a question for you.
As you get older, say into your 30s, 40s, and 50s, do women of your age become more attractive looking relative to how they looked when you were a teenager? I'm not talking about the kind that might mature like wine. I'm talking about the standard female. Psychologically they would feel more compatible with you, but I'm just talking about appearance.
They have always been attractive. Or are you reallly saying that "older women" were or are not attractive for younger boys? Never had a crush on a teacher, actress, singer on their way to 40? Of course it somehow clashes with the fact that they could be your mom, so that's something of a big downer, plus, they are living in a different world, or so it seems.
The "standard femaale" as you call it, doesn't she exist with every age? Aren't there standard females with 15-30 as well? I mean, take Kirsten Dunst who was 20 hen she made Spider Man? Is she attractive? You can argue about that, but to me she isn't. She's young, ok, but attractive? Nah.
Basically I'd say that no matter how old I was there have always been (only) some looking really attractive. The difference might be that if you are young you just can't stop looking. It's like with cats or dogs - when they are young they find everything interesting, but if they get older, things have to become more special to attract their attention.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 09:55 AM |
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kirsten dunst... most attractive actress imo 
and yeah, I'm quite afraid that girls who are attractive now won't be anymore in a decade or too, but at least it leaves me a bit of time.
but I don't think we are doomed to lose our youth so fast. I think if you live an healthy life, do what you want, realise your dreams, be happy, you'll stay young and beautiful longer than most people and also probably will have a more attractive personality.
lots of people have a job that they don't really like, or even completely hate and that often stress them and are convinced they have no other choices if they want the money to live (I think they are wrong, but getting the opportunity to do what you like may involve taking some risks and doing some sacrifices first that most people probably aren't ready to do)
moreover, when those people lose their job, while they could use this time to think about what they could do, they only worry about retrieving a similar job to the one which already didn't make them happy as soon as possible, mostly because they see it as the easiest way to make money and probably also because they don't know what else to do.
and I think, for that reason (and some others, but I guess mostly this one) most people ages faster than they normally should.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 10:11 AM |
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TD, I had other reasons not to try with her... but I decided not to talk about them and I still don't want. Trust me, however: for a time period, any kind of engaging her was out of the question. As for now, I'm not sure. Again, I don't want to talk about it, however, trust me, it's not just "she cries about her ex". If it was just that, I'd try to swallow the bitter pill first to get that ton of sugar afterwards.
But it's not. And I don't want to talk about it.
As for love being irrational, well, sometimes you just hate something irrationally, why can't you love irrationally too? 
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Binabik
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Legendary Hero
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posted December 08, 2009 10:54 AM |
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Quote:
As you get older, say into your 30s, 40s, and 50s, do women of your age become more attractive looking relative to how they looked when you were a teenager? I'm not talking about the kind that might mature like wine. I'm talking about the standard female. Psychologically they would feel more compatible with you, but I'm just talking about appearance.
The direct answer is yes, they become more attractive. At the same time the younger women don't become less attractive. Another way of putting it is that the mom and daughter are both hawt so there's twice as much eye candy. When I say eye candy, I'm only talking about looks and not all the other qualities that are important.
As you get older, your priorities change when it comes to a relationship. For one thing you see things from a more practical point of view rather than simply the emotion of being madly in love with someone. As the saying goes, love is blind. But as you become older I think that becomes less true and you are able to pull back and really consider if the relationship is realistic.
I haven't been following this conversation and don't know the context of your question (I saw it in JJ's post), but I'm curious why you asked this. Was it just out of curiosity? Or are you concerned about your own future? If it's the second, I'd say don't worry about it, it will take care of itself. I can tell you with complete confidence that you will be quite capable of falling madly in love.
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