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| Thread: Provoking a pedophile!! Not a good idea |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 · NEXT» |
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violent_flower
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posted July 20, 2006 04:10 AM |
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Provoking a pedophile!! Not a good idea
I have been so angered lately by all the news crap on T.V. and MySpace about little twelve years olds suing everyone. In the name of everything that is supposed to be right lets really look at what is going on here. So you have a twelve year old daughter that is so engulfed in her computer that is in her room, (unmonitored by her oh so responsible parents), that she has blocked out the rest of the world. She is on this curse of a motherboard and chatting away online to FIFTY-year-old guys. She exits from the chair (hide your eyes the mini skirt is missing it’s MATERAIL) to get her cell phone (that mom and dad pay for, no concept of working for money anymore) and decides she will give this sweet gentleman on the other side of the monitor, her phone number, *sighs*. Now we have Susie meeting up at the mall with what she thinks is a twelve-year boy. As she approaches the covert meeting spot she notices that grandpa is in her view of what could be prince charming. Well she thinks that until good old grandpa sits her on his lap and offers her a cookie from his pedophile jar..
This is what we are dealing with on a daily basis *shrugs shoulders and wonders what to do*. My son has a computer but every site he goes onto comes straight to my e-mail everyday. He leaves his door open and I can come in and look right over his shoulder to see what he is doing. I also provide a limited time frame for his usage. He knows what window his computer will sprout wings and fly out of if he gives any information at all. Don’t get me wrong I understand that any child no matter how they are raised or what they are told can be capable of such acts of ignorance. After all they are just children and that is how they learn sometimes.
My point is, I was walking down the street the other day and a school mate of my daughters (whom is ten) was wearing this skirt that her *** was flapping out of and this skimpy top with Tami Baker eye lashes winking at me. I’m I wrong for thinking that maybe some of these parents are probably buying these clothes for them considering they are ten and probably don’t have jobs? Aren’t they allowing them walk out of their house flaunting themselves in such a manner that is not appropriate. Do I think it constitutes being molested or raped? No!!!!! It sure is not turning off the Dirty Birdies of the world either. A twelve year old is suing Myspace right now for a nineteen year old that was pretending to be twelve and the little girl is just up in arms. So her parents (who probably set this whole thing up) are suing for twenty million dollars. Come on have your daughter take some responsibility for the love of God and you take some as well.
Have you seen these girls in the mall you can’t tell if they are twelve or twenty. College girls going into guys dorm rooms that they don’t know after they have been drinking. Then the panties come off and before you know it the girl is on the news claiming the whole football team had her for lunch. Well let’s look at this logically and with a shred of common since. In a guys dorm you don’t know, drinking, teasing him with the old panty trick (oh you don’t know that one..take them off and then as soon as he thinks, “Oh yippee she’s going to put out..the girl yanks them up and says I don’t know my mom was a virgin till she was at least ten.) Again does not constitute rape but these girls are getting good anymore.
1.My question for you is at what point do these women take responsibility for themselves and their actions that may lead up to something like this?
2.When do parents need to be held accountable for what their children are doing on the computer?
3. I would love to hear feedback from anyone that has had to deal with this issue..
Thanks……….
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LadyMeryl
Adventuring Hero
of I-state-the-obvious-ology
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posted July 20, 2006 05:12 AM |
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I feel really bad for your son.
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Trogdor
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Words in a custom title
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posted July 20, 2006 09:58 AM |
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The moral of this story is that Myspace accounts should only be for musicians and musicians only.
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Antipaladin
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posted July 20, 2006 01:38 PM |
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My point is, I was walking down the street the other day and a school mate of my daughters (whom is ten) was wearing this skirt that her *** was flapping out of and this skimpy top with Tami Baker eye lashes winking at me. I’m I wrong for thinking that maybe some of these parents are probably buying these clothes for them considering they are ten and probably don’t have jobs? Aren’t they allowing them walk out of their house flaunting themselves in such a manner that is not appropriate.
I take it you havent been to israel? its fashion to wear the pants lower then the underpants in order them to be seen ,even the guys 
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1.My question for you is at what point do these women take responsibility for themselves and their actions that may lead up to something like this?
how can anyone answer this? every chick to herself
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2.When do parents need to be held accountable for what their children are doing on the computer?
you cant allways detaine them,an amount of freedome is required aswell,(im a teenager boy,i know what im talking about).but the case of chatting and meeting,bah yeah i've done that,but i was smart,i allways go to blind dates with frindes that way if it is some sort of pedophile,i just use him as distraction and run  although the need didnt arise so far.
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3. I would love to hear feedback from anyone that has had to deal with this issue..
your right to be concered,are you a he or a she? the worry's sound motherly,but the agrassion could be fatherly,my mouther allso thinks the same about this kind of acts too,and she sets me up with strict rules.i have a specific time i must come home,and if im late then i can go out less on the next day,not to mention i get an alounce once a week.wever i am i must report her constely,but im honest about must of stuff,and responcible too.she knows i can drink too a point,and i know how to stop myself,so it kinda' okay.
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Thanks……….
no problam 
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titaniumalloy
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posted July 20, 2006 02:33 PM |
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Kinda like running into a moving train.
What I don't get is why do these parents let their daughter go to these places by herself?
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violent_flower
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posted July 20, 2006 05:05 PM |
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I feel really bad for your son.
You feel bad for a child that is well rounded, intelligent, loving, sticks up for the little guy on the playground, has a loving family, and has the freedom to do pretty much what ever he wants to within certain limitations? So I guess my confusion is whether you posted that comment to just start**** or do you actually raise your own children this way, assuming you have children. Well if you do and you set no limits for them then I feel sorry for them. I can’t wait to support them while they are in prison or standing in the welfare line as adults.
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violent_flower
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posted July 20, 2006 05:11 PM |
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What I don't get is why do these parents let their daughter go to these places by herself?
Thank you, that is part of my point. When do the parents have to take responsibility for what their children are doing? What really upsets me is when the parents turn around and try to sue websites, video game producers, and music producers for their child’s act of total disregard. At some point instead of medicating them or giving them away we have to start raising them or quit having them..
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russ
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blah, blah, blah
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posted July 20, 2006 06:09 PM |
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Edited by russ at 18:37, 20 Jul 2006.
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My son has a computer but every site he goes onto comes straight to my e-mail everyday. He leaves his door open and I can come in and look right over his shoulder to see what he is doing. I also provide a limited time frame for his usage. He knows what window his computer will sprout wings and fly out of if he gives any information at all.
I feel really sorry for your son too. I don't even know what to say...
From my experience, it is pointless to argue with people like that, so, Flower, don't bother responding. You can skip the rest of my post.
Those lawsuits ARE stupid, they are obvious attempts to make easy money. But, perharps, instead of controlling your child 24/7, maybe it would be best to simply explain everything to him and trust his judjment? If your kid has such poor people skills that he can't pick up the OBVIOUS warning signs and needs his parents to look over his shoulder, then you've obviously failed as a parent somewhere along the way (if not all along the way).
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Iris
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posted July 20, 2006 07:06 PM |
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Russ does make a good point. Give your kid some freedom and let him make his own mistakes. Now, I'm not saying you should just let him run free like a wild child, but too much restriction is very bad for his growth. When children are young, they learn fast. It's better to direct them than to control them. If he can develop the skills to recognize these frauds or whatever, then you can rest assured that he'll be able to protect himself similarly in the future. In addition, the restrictions you put on your child could also be damaging to your relationship with him.
Let me start off by saying I have first hand experience in this area. I'm Asian, which means I have extremely overprotective parents. Not only that, I'm an only child, and a girl to boot. You wouldn't believe the rules my parents have for me. To this day, I still have a curfew. My father won't let me drive alone at night. My mother still feels the need to hold my hand when we're crossing the street. I know they mean well, but it sounds rather ridiculous, doesn't it?
Back in my HS days, my dad would stand behind me and watch everything I was typing to my friends. He would not hang up the phone unless I say, "Dad, I got it. You can hang up now." Sometimes even then he would pretend he's not listening in. Luckily for me, there was a period of time when my parents hated me as much as I hated living at home. I got my freedom, grew into my own person, and now that I'm older and more mature, we've made up and are on good terms again. Better than we've ever been on before.
I consider myself lucky to have the opportunity to grow. But some of my other Asian girl friends are now experiencing the effects of being sheltered. They are indecisive, meek, and have no initiative. They sit until they are told that they're allowed to do something. Granted, we're still in college and live at home in the summer, but when they get out there in the real world, can you imagine all the crap they have to go through because they never learned them when they were little?
I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I'm just sharing something I went through. I know sometimes when you love someone (especially your own children), you think that what you're doing is absolutely right and for their own good. However, sometimes you have to look at it from their point of view, too. Good luck. 
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Aculias
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posted July 20, 2006 07:24 PM |
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Edited by Aculias at 19:29, 20 Jul 2006.
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WHat are you going to do?
Ground your kids for life because they are being typical teenagers.
If a woman knows shes fine & gots a good body,they will show it off, because they know the males will stare.
WHen i was a kid i loved my privacy.
I would hate when my parents had to get into every single thang that I do.
I love to have my door closed & not because I am sneaky but I want my privacy.
Theres some personal stuff kids like to do without thier parents looking over your shoulder when you dont even know.
The computer i dont mind because of all the porn,viruses,trojans,rip offs & alot of other stuff that kids can fall for.
Let us be kids sometimes though.
This world is crazy but it dont mean everyone is messed up in it.
I think you women watch a little too much COURT TV & make it like us men are always the ones murdering the victims (women).
Like you women are so innocent.
Basically, teenagers are teenagers & it's a faze & we all go through it.
What are you going to do, lock them in the closet until thier 18 then boot them out of the house.
Kids need privacy sometimes.
Edit: I forgot to reply on the 10 yr old.
COme on now Violent Flower we all know kids get away with alot.
For example, kids drinking beer at a way younger age.
Wheres the first place they will look?
your fridge of course & if you dont drink, then it will be another parents fridge.
Same with cloths, we got our way of getting skanky cloths.
You actually think alot of parents wants OR EVEN KNOWS that thier daughter is wearing cloths like that.
COme on now I am sure you were not all that innocent when you were younger also.
If you were then you are one of the rarest bunch.
Point is kids know how to get stuff without thier parents knowing, it depends on how good they are without getting caught.
These days we make a little bit of money to buy them too.
No crime in buying cloths.
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russ
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posted July 20, 2006 07:31 PM |
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Iris, my family was EXACTLY like that!!! It was ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!
I've only managed to learn to make my own decisions when I was 21!!! I am still a LOOONG way from being completely normal in that sense, though. Whenever I am faced with a decision, I feel a very strong urge to get someone else to do it for me. I also have problems being in any kind of leadership position, or showing any kind initiative, for that matter. I've almost managed to eliminate that one, but I still have it to some extent: whenever I see someone assume a leadership position or show a lot of confidence, I feel as if I should be following (or just follow them subconsciously), no matter how stuid their decisions/suggestions are and no matter what my own judjement tells me.
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Consis
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posted July 20, 2006 08:22 PM |
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Oldest Story In The Book . . .
This has been happening to people of all ages in any variety of locations spanning the spectrum of human history, etcetera. Today it seems to be focused on young little children because of all the internet porn and child molestors on the prowl.
I have no answers for this. I talk to my kids about it. I limit their exposure for the time being. And I understand that I can't watch them every second of every day. If it should happen that my son or daughter become party to such inlfuences then I shall not fret. I am doing all that I can. I take them to church and focus on good communication. I refuse to imprison them in a bubble to satiate some eternal parental fear. I'm not the first nor the last parent to worry about such things. I say do all you can and make sure they feel comfortable talking to you.
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Antipaladin
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posted July 20, 2006 08:41 PM |
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why is my post ignored
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violent_flower
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posted July 21, 2006 03:01 AM |
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Those lawsuits ARE stupid, they are obvious attempts to make easy money. But, perharps, instead of controlling your child 24/7, maybe it would be best to simply explain everything to him and trust his judjment? If your kid has such poor people skills that he can't pick up the OBVIOUS warning signs and needs his parents to look over his shoulder, then you've obviously failed as a parent somewhere along the way (if not all along the way).
I feel that my questions that I asked people to reply on did not have anything to do with bashing my parenting skills. In the mist of the unstable world we live in today, I feel that taking extra steps to at least try and minimize the chances of these types of acts is not only the intelligent thing to do but it is my obligation as a parent. I don’t police him 24/7. He has great judgment in his everyday life. I just know that when it comes to the computer and all the net had to offer it would be easy to get caught up in activities that are wrong. He has a lot of freedom and is a very happy teenager. I don’t want our personal living information (address, phone, etc.) to be given out. I don’t watch him over his shoulder all the time but I have the option to if I want. We are very close with each other. I’m not here to fight or defend my parental choices with anyone. I just wanted people to respond to the QUESTIONS I had, that was all. Thanks for your input I’m sure that when you write a book on parenting I will be rushing to the store to pick up my own-signed copy.
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Aculias
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posted July 21, 2006 03:10 AM |
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I wonder how a child would react when they become 21 yrs old hmm I wonder.
Maybe too much insecurity.
Maybe an easy butt whopping.
Every little thang you do effects they way the child will be when they get older.
Who are we to tell anyone how to parent thier own child.
Your not the only one though.
Once you leave your house, it's crazy & all you have to do is be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I understand the over protection but in the house.
I dont see why it's needed.
I am talking about some parenting not just yours or anyone on here.
These times people rely on the gun instead of fists.
You can be the strongest guy in the world & all it takes is one bullet.
Eventually kids will get curious about alot of stuff when they get to be teenagers.
Eventually they will find a way to go out.
There will be fighting & lies because there is no such thang is trust when they cant even go to the bathroom alone lol.
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violent_flower
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posted July 21, 2006 03:10 AM |
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I take it you havent been to israel? its fashion to wear the pants lower then the underpants in order them to be seen ,even the guys
I know that this is not just here and not just with girls. I have the problem with the girls and boys that wish to put themselves in situations and then blame the net or some horny teenage boy for making a move on them and offending their delicate nature.
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your right to be concered,are you a he or a she? the worry's sound motherly,but the agrassion could be fatherly,my mouther allso thinks the same about this kind of acts too,and she sets me up with strict rules.i have a specific time i must come home,and if im late then i can go out less on the next day,not to mention i get an alounce once a week.wever i am i must report her constely,but im honest about must of stuff,and responcible too.she knows i can drink too a point,and i know how to stop myself,so it kinda' okay.
Thanks for your input...
no problam
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LadyMeryl
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posted July 21, 2006 04:12 AM |
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I feel really bad for your son.
You feel bad for a child that is well rounded, intelligent, loving, sticks up for the little guy on the playground, has a loving family, and has the freedom to do pretty much what ever he wants to within certain limitations? So I guess my confusion is whether you posted that comment to just start**** or do you actually raise your own children this way, assuming you have children. Well if you do and you set no limits for them then I feel sorry for them. I can’t wait to support them while they are in prison or standing in the welfare line as adults.
Yes, I feel desperately bad for your poor kid, because he has to deal with the, "sorry, can't talk, my stupid freaking mom is coming and god forbid I ever cuss in front of her. she's so overprotective and obnxious... I wish she would die and leave me alone."
Like it or not, I'd be willing to bet my life that your sorry little child is going to have thoughts along these lines sometime in his life, and you're going to be the one to blame for setting so many boundaries and limits for your child, pressuring him that if he doesn't do everything perfectly he'll never get into college, that his friends are crap because they made less than an A, judging children by their parents just the way you'd like your son to be judged, not for who he is but by how responsible you feel by making something stupid like a computer limit time.
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Aculias
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posted July 21, 2006 04:15 AM |
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Not easy being a parent you know.
It dont mean you have to mock her or her son just because you wouldnt treat your son like that.
I would try to be more fair if i was in her shoes but who are we to say whos doing a good job being a parent.
Why dont you tell us what a parent should do so a child can have a perfect life with the least of problems?
This I would like to hear because usually theres a fall back to every one.
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the_gootch
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posted July 21, 2006 05:00 AM |
bonus applied. |
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When I was younger I had personal freedoms. I was given free reign(my father will call it a requirement) to get the hell out of the house and go outside and play, by myself if need be. By the age of nine I was allowed to take public transportation around the city without being accompanied by an adult. Oftentimes I didn't have an adult there to protect me from all the big, bad wolves in this world. And to be honest, I really didn't need one. Maybe I was lucky. Or maybe, just maybe, my experiences were in line with the vast majority of kids who grew up without always being watched by their parents.
What I've come to learn, though, is that there is no rationalizing with crazy. And people who've had bad things happen to them when parents weren't(or were) around or know someone who knew someone who knew someone who read something in the paper that something awful happened to a little girl on her way to school cannot be reasoned with. Statistics don't matter when it comes to emotions.
Nor can old world parents from Eastern Europe and/or Asia be reasoned with. I've long known how nutso these people are.
American society hasn't changed as much as our perception of it has. Hell, it's even less violent now than when I was coming of age. And we've always had mean, scary people among us. We've always had molestors, rapists, boogeymen, and young republicans among us. There have never been good old days when people were always decent to each other. These types of monsters were just kept hush-hush for the most part.
First things first though. In answer to your questions:
1.My question for you is at what point do these women take responsibility for themselves and their actions that may lead up to something like this?
You're using both women and girls in your citation so I'll address both.
In a perfect world little girls will have a strong male figure in their lives who will shower them with the love, affection, and the positive attention they will crave. If they don't have that strong male figure they run the risk of searching for it from other male types, usually in the form of boys their own age. Do I need to address those pitfalls?
Girls should be given some sort of cushion from their choices. All kids need the safety net that parents provide. So yes, girls should be protected from the consequences of most of their actions.
Once they reach college age though, things change markedly. If a woman pulls that kind of clown bs she's one of three things. Either she's incredibly naive and I will gladly try to help her find a way back in time so she can forever remain 15 or she's incredibly stupid. Barring that the only other thing I can think of is that she knows full well what she's doing but doesn't want to accept responsibility for her actions.
2.When do parents need to be held accountable for what their children are doing on the computer?
You ask fifty different parents and you're bound to get varying replies from all of them. Parents need to be involved in their children's lives. And yes, up to a certain age you better believe that these kids have no rights when it comes to issues of privacy. I would imagine that there is no defined age at which a child is allowed privacy. Privacy is a privilege and is earned. It is not a right.
You know, just when I'm about to discount the observations of adolescents in general I come across some gems such as this one.
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the worry's sound motherly,but the agrassion could be fatherly
Brother you have no idea....
As for the rest of your post Antipaladin, it's interesting to read that you're in agreeance with the restrictions your mother puts upon you. I remember all too well when I was your age how petulant and arrogant I was. Some would argue(possibly successfully given my history here) that I really haven't changed but that's neither here nor there.
It's one thing for guys to walk around with their jeans hanging below their arse. We're dumbasses who follow every stupid trend under the sun, including ones originally used in prisons to show that you were someone else's behahehotch and were accounted for. *sigh* There are some things about hip-hop culture I've never agreed with.
Regarding Russ and Iris and their upbringing....
I would venture to start out saying that the grass is greener on the other side. There are those who have had no structure in their lives and would die to have a parental figure show them love in the form of rules and restrictions. There are those who think they would appreciate their mother grabbing their hand while crossing into traffic and wanting to protect them even into their 20s, 30s, and 40s.
And still there are those who would love nothing more than to be told to get off the computer, it's time for bed. Kids have a love/hate relationship with rules. They love to hate them and they hate how protected and safe they feel with them.
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violent_flower
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posted July 21, 2006 05:00 AM |
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I feel really bad for your son.
You feel bad for a child that is well rounded, intelligent, loving, sticks up for the little guy on the playground, has a loving family, and has the freedom to do pretty much what ever he wants to within certain limitations? So I guess my confusion is whether you posted that comment to just start**** or do you actually raise your own children this way, assuming you have children. Well if you do and you set no limits for them then I feel sorry for them. I can’t wait to support them while they are in prison or standing in the welfare line as adults.
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Yes, I feel desperately bad for your poor kid, because he has to deal with the, "sorry, can't talk, my stupid freaking mom is coming and god forbid I ever cuss in front of her. she's so overprotective and obnxious... I wish she would die and leave me alone."
Like it or not, I'd be willing to bet my life that your sorry little child is going to have thoughts along these lines sometime in his life, and you're going to be the one to blame for setting so many boundaries and limits for your child, pressuring him that if he doesn't do everything perfectly he'll never get into college, that his friends are crap because they made less than an A, judging children by their parents just the way you'd like your son to be judged, not for who he is but by how responsible you feel by making something stupid like a computer limit time.
WOW the maturity level of this reply has just took me and spun me down to your level. I have three children and have two stepdaughters as well. I’m proud of all my children and if you knew me at all, (which at this point would never happen due to your lack of intelligence by this post), you would know that my children have a lot of freedom. Having a limit on time spent on the computer is a very normal and healthy limitation. DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN?
Where do you get off jumping on someone like this that you don’t know anything about? Have you no limitations yourself on what you will say when you are obviously so quick to poorly judge someone. What if I did that to you? Um lets see. My momma had me at twelve and of coarse I’m my grandfather baby (we call him daddy), my addiction of government cheese came right from momma’s milk, I missed the snow boat, **** I jumped right onto the snow boat (my mom is the first mate). I would do something else with my time besides jumping into someone’s post and putting down the way that they parents, but hey what the hell this is how momma raised us kids.. I bet your family is proud. God bless the freedom of speech.
What a great welcom to HC..
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Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
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