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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 07, 2011 06:58 PM |
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Children are not entitled to get everything they want. It's called a "wish", not a demand.
If, for whatever reason, parents don't fulfill the wishes of their children - tough luck.
Smaller wishes they can fulfill themselves with thwir allowance, and if they need more money they can always try to earn something, doing things in house and garden, taking responsibilities and so on.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted April 07, 2011 07:00 PM |
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If it was a reply to me. That was not what I objected to.
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Living time backwards
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 07, 2011 07:09 PM |
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Doesn't matter. The result is the same.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted April 07, 2011 07:11 PM |
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I don't understand. Please explain yourself.
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Living time backwards
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 07, 2011 07:34 PM |
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You complain about parents "knowing better" what their children want. The result - if children buy something else than their children wished for - is: they don't get what they want. It doesn't matter much whether they simply don't get it or get something else to make up for them don 't getting it.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted April 07, 2011 07:57 PM |
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Quote: children buy something else than their children wished for
?
Well, let me tell you this. To me, as a child, it'd be a grave offense, should you buy something else on purpose!
A no, I could understand, but buying something else... that would be like you telling me what to do, in stead of telling what I can't do. A big no.
Edit: I suppose I should put it more clearly. Especially since I'm not certain I'll prioritize giving you a reply, depending on how long time it'll take to do so, due to: http://heroescommunity.com/viewthread.php3?TID=34929
So the child parent relationship in my view. As the child, what did I expect? Well to begin with, I expected nothing and did what I was told.
Later on, I expected to be threated as an equal and I of course was aware that I was the unexperienced one. The parent have a lot to offer. But not as a dictator, but as one more wise. Of course it's only respectful to listen to the childs opinion and give questions that are easier to deal with, as such it looks like the child have a great say in a given matter.
A no, is of course a no, from the parents side, no need to explain, though it's most respectful to explain.
You cannot, however, unless you've invented ways of eliminating free will, get someone, no matter how much smaller they're than you, to do something you want. You can punish and opress and eventually they'll do as you say, but that's no different from the dictator doing what's best for his people, because they clearly don't know themselves.
I can tell you this. If you made me agree with you (which would have been easy), or told me it was really important, I'd do what you told me. If you told me to do so, just because you say so, then you'd get a lot of resistance.
A no, would make me dissapointed, but something I'd accept. I'd like to have an explanation and would loose a little respect, if you could not tell me either why, or why you would not give me an explanation.
I of course don't know how it was in your house. Maybe there was no need for you to say it's important, because all you ever said, when you told someone to do something, was important?
Though I hardly doubt that's the case, seeing how you'd tell your child what to play with (buying something else than what they wanted on purpose).
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 07, 2011 08:34 PM |
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You can always ignore it. Ungrateful brat that you are.
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted April 07, 2011 08:39 PM |
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Meh, I wrote this long post about respect and stuff, and then you of course gives a witty reply before I finish, making me look like a total arse
Oh well. You're welcome to give your own inputs on parenting or ignoring it all together, or whatever you want.
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted April 08, 2011 03:56 PM |
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Edited by Corribus at 16:39, 08 Apr 2011.
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Risking opening a can of worms on this one:
Dilemma #6
You and your spouse have tried for years to get pregnant. Finally the good news comes - you are expecting your first child. Unfortunately, very early on your doctor tells you that your baby has a very high probability of having Downs Syndrome. He tells you that it's not too late to have an abortion.
What do you do?
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 08, 2011 04:32 PM |
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 08, 2011 06:06 PM |
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 08, 2011 06:24 PM |
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hard to think rationnaly about such a subject, especially when you have been trying for years
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evinin
Supreme Hero
Servant of Asha
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posted April 08, 2011 06:32 PM |
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I don't think that an answer can be given to this dilemma. In a situation like that people don't think rationally and they decide in the very moment. I hope that no one will have to decide a thing like that.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 08, 2011 06:41 PM |
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Quote: I don't think that an answer can be given to this dilemma. In a situation like that people don't think rationally and they decide in the very moment. I hope that no one will have to decide a thing like that.
you are not supposed to find the right solution for the whole world.
The question is: What would YOU do?
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evinin
Supreme Hero
Servant of Asha
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posted April 08, 2011 06:46 PM |
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Quote: you are not supposed to find the right solution for the whole world.
The question is: What would YOU do?
I can't answer. On one hand we have the fact that it's a long-dreamed-for child (I'm nor sure about the expression). On the other hand it will have an awful life and I can do something about it - I can kill it. Maybe abortion isn't exactly killing but I guess that I'm thinking like a woman and for me it IS killing. I can't take the right of a creature to live, though I'll curse its life. One can not decide who to live and who to die, though the kid will really have a hard life and I will suffer with it. There is no answer to this dilemma for me.
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Duke_Falcon
Disgraceful
Supreme Hero
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posted April 08, 2011 07:24 PM |
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I don't want a life-long suffering so, even if my hearth broke with it, I choose the abortion and I'm sure my wife will agree with me. Both of us want children but with a great and whole life not a life filled with suffering! Not to abort the child will be cruel for the child...
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted April 08, 2011 07:40 PM |
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Quote: Risking opening a can of worms on this one:
Dilemma #6
You and your spouse have tried for years to get pregnant. Finally the good news comes - you are expecting your first child. Unfortunately, very early on your doctor tells you that your baby has a very high probability of having Downs Syndrome. He tells you that it's not too late to have an abortion.
What do you do?
I'm certain that if me and her decided that we wanted a baby, we'd already have talked possibilities like this over, lots of times, before even starting.
The only way, I see it comming as a shock, except for my possible extreme stupidity, is for me to be raped. A very serious fear! Woman rapes males all the times, but no one takes it serious!
So if I were raped and found out I was going to be the father of a child, which turns out to have Downs, and the girl wanted me to be part of that life, well, then, I'd:
1) See if I could find out her view point first. Giving my own will certainly bias her, I think. I mean if I say I want the baby and she doesn't it'll give her an even worse conscience if she says no, she might feel pressured into a life she doesn't want. If I say no, and she wants it, maybe she'll never believe I'm a good enough dad, which will most likely affect the future family, burden it even more.
If I can't. I'll try as politely as I can manage to tell her that it's ultimately her decision. That I'll back her up no matter what. And if I truely can't avoid stating my opinion without getting to know how she feels about it, I'll say I'd want the baby.
Yes it's most likely a huge burden, and I didn't ask for it, I was fricking raped! Stupid girl, but I'd then have to find a way to take care of all these things that requires your time, so I can spend 24/7 with my child. Need to optimize and make stuff automatic. Probably gonna need a lot of peoples help.
So shortly. I'd rather not have the abort, but will support her decision regardless.
Edit: Quote: I hope that no one will have to decide a thing like that.
Reminds me. My parents actually went through this scenario!
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Living time backwards
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 08, 2011 08:02 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 20:02, 08 Apr 2011.
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Dilemma #6.1
You rape a girl. she becomes pregnant. Do you ask her to marry you?
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted April 08, 2011 08:07 PM |
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No. I release her and try to dissapear.
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Living time backwards
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Duke_Falcon
Disgraceful
Supreme Hero
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posted April 08, 2011 08:11 PM |
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Quote: Dilemma #6.1
You rape a girl. she becomes pregnant. Do you ask her to marry you?
Hell yes! It makes legal to rape her everyday!
Seriously: No. I never rape someone. I believe the ways of love.
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