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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted March 17, 2010 02:25 PM |
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Edited by Corribus at 14:29, 17 Mar 2010.
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Everyday Moral Dilemmas
I listen to a lot of talk radio when I drive, and by far I like the local hosts better than the national syndicated ones. I like the topics better. The national hosts have nothing better to do than spit fire at whoever is currently running the country. Often warranted, of course, but it gets old. Local hosts tend to focus on "everyday moral dilemmas". They'll take a story in the local news or describe some personal story that involves some dilemma, and then the audience discusses it.
Anyway, I thought it might be fun to do this here. I want to emphasize that this thread is dedicated to EVERYDAY dilemmas. What I mean by that is a dilemma that might be encountered by your average person in their daily life. Whether or not healthcare should be reformed is not an "everyday dilemma". Got the distinction? Good.
(some of these, like the first one, will be taken straight from conversations I hear on the radio or in the news, so I fully admit up front to some plagiarism)
Dilemma # 1
You are married and have a 10 year old son. Your son goes over to a friend's house to play, and when he comes back, he has a black eye. According to the parents of your son's friend, their child hit your son in the head with a tennis racket. The parents apologize profusely but, knowing your son has a tendency to be wild and careless and it was probably just an honest mistake, you tell the parents that it's no big deal. Later, after questioning your son a bit more, he says it was indeed an honest mistake and his friend didn't do it on purpose. They were just playing around - an accident. You believe your son is telling the truth and think nothing more of it. Two days later, you receive a letter in the mail from the parents. You open it and find it contains a $50 gift card to your son's favorite toy store. The letter explains that the parents of the other child still feel really bad about what happened and wanted to make it up to you (and your kid).
You tell this to your wife and she is adamant that you return the gift card to the parents. Accepting the gift, she claims, is the same as proclaiming that you believe the other parents are at fault for what happened to your son. Furthermore, she says that if you give the gift to your son, it will teach him a bad lesson: to expect compensation every time something bad happens to him in life, even if it was his fault. You argue that the gift was merely a nice gesture and that it doesn't hurt to accept gifts from well-meaning people. You have a good relationship with these other parents and you feel that to refuse the card would be rude. If more people gave gifts, the world would be a better place.
So, what do you do?
(1) Give the card back and explain that you can't accept a "gift" as compensation for something that your son shared blame for.
(2) Accept the card and thank the parents for their generosity.
(3) Something else.
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted March 17, 2010 02:47 PM |
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Let the wife deal with it. 
Hmm, I think I'd invite them (the other parents) over for a talk, share our viewpoints in the matter. Then tell it is up to them if they want to give gifts, but it should not be because they think they owe something, because that's not really a gift in my opinion.
Also, if they don't want the card/money back, I'll probably save it for some birthday or something. Don't really know.
So I suppose it is some kind of combination of (1) and (2), making it (3).
____________
Living time backwards
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 17, 2010 03:22 PM |
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Generally, I think that grown-ups - other children's parents, for eaxample - shouldn't make gifts to other children without talking with their parents first.
"Gifts" can easily lead to trouble this or that way. In this special case I'll agree with a wife. I'd not have a problem with a "gift", but it should come from the friend, and it shouldn't be some toys gift card, but something like, "hey, I accidentally hurt you, come on, I'll buy us an ice cream".
I'd explain that to the other family.
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Elodin
Promising
Legendary Hero
Free Thinker
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posted March 17, 2010 03:29 PM |
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Edited by Elodin at 15:29, 17 Mar 2010.
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I'd explain to the other parents what happened and that I appreciate the thought, but it was just an accident and "boys being boys." I agree that it is a bad lesson to teach a child that he should expect compensation every time something bad happens to him. Whether or not it is his fault. Especially for insignificant things.
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Revelation
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted March 17, 2010 04:40 PM |
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3: Other
I would accept the gift but ensure them it was not something they had to do at all because everyone was alright. Of course they would go on about how they think they had to make it up to the kid, but ultimately we would just leave it be.
Is it rude to accept the giftcard or to refuse it? I dont really think it matters but a thank you seems to beable to work just fine in this situation instead of making up qays to explain why youre to dignified and awesome to accept their token of whatever.
dilema X:
You have found an opened beer. You're sure it was from yesterday so you have a sip, still tastes fine. Your neighbor knocks on the door and wants to show you his iguanas new babies. Earlier in the day you had a very large lunch. As you make your way to the iguanas you decide to have a nice swig of this beer, and not only was there something not beer inside of it but your stomach reacts and you puke all over the iguana family.
Your friend insists you take them to the beach
A: Buy them a 50$ gift card for a spa place they frequent.
B: other
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted March 17, 2010 04:42 PM |
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I'd apology and pay for any damage I've done (clothes cleaning, etc.).
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Living time backwards
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Shares
Supreme Hero
I am. Thusly I am.
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posted March 17, 2010 05:52 PM |
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Edited by Shares at 17:56, 17 Mar 2010.
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@Corribus: I'd of course give it to my son, but insist that he goes and talk to the neighbours, leaving it up to him, but explaining that the gift is unnecessary.
That way the boy might take the gift card, or he is mature enough to give it back. If I gave it back how ever, it would show that I do not trust my son with either money nor social responsibility. This way he will at least have the chance to learn something.
@Celf: I guess I'd have a good laugh at it, apologize and take them to the beach. And I hope my "friend" had some humour about it!
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 17, 2010 06:27 PM |
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I don't drink beer and even less when the bottle is already open. you don't know what might be inside.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 17, 2010 10:22 PM |
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Corribus:
Definitely #1.
Celf:
I don't drink, so I can't say what I'd do.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted March 18, 2010 06:23 PM |
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@Corribus: I take number 2, but I'll leave my son in blissful ignorance and then use the giftcard (depending on the expiration date) later, when it's my son's birthday/bar mitzvah or something.
That way, I do not insult the gift givers, I save 50$ in getting a present which won't be associated with compensating for damage and I won't cross my wife. Everybody wins!
I'd however give serious consideration to number 1 and 3.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted March 18, 2010 08:09 PM |
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Tell your kid to accidentally punch their kid, then send them a gift card and see what they do with it.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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frostwolf
Famous Hero
livin' in a bottle of vodka
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posted March 19, 2010 02:05 AM |
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Lol Bak.
Really now, I think it's all in the nature of the parent's relationship. There is no "right" way to solve this. Depending on how the two families relate to each other, any of the mentioned solutions is acceptable. If you are fairly good friend with them, or if you are not but the gesture might indicate that they want to be so, then by all means accept the gift. Not doing so would be rude.
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What can you expect from a world where everybody lives because they're too afraid to commit suicide?
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted March 19, 2010 12:29 PM |
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I'd go option 3 and split the gift card between the two families.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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Xerox
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 21, 2010 02:51 AM |
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How I would probably do: Take the gift and then don't care about it.
How I would want people to do: Call the other parents and explain that it was an accident and that the gift wasn't nescessary and instead buy something for it that both boys can enjoy (depending on if they can share or not).
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Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 21, 2010 08:28 AM |
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I would go with returning the card, explaining why, and see what happens from there. While, yes, turning down a gift is rude..taking the gift under what could be false pretense is just as bad. If they insist on me keeping the card, I would do so..as long as everybody (including my child) knows that it is NOT for what happened.
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Message received.
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted March 21, 2010 09:24 AM |
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3)
I would take the card, buy some plastic toy soldiers for myself and lie on how I returned it.
*Insert evil laugh here*
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted March 22, 2010 11:48 PM |
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another option 3)
I would take it then say the little violent hell spawn stole my sons toy and tried to beat up the neighbors cat with our homemade lasagna.. which is worthless now, unless you want to eat cat hair lasagna.
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted March 30, 2010 03:48 PM |
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Edited by Corribus at 15:49, 30 Mar 2010.
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Dilemma #2:
You are having lunch with an old friend of yours, and you bring your 11 year old son with you. While eating, you start discussing the new phone that was just released, which, coincidentally, you recently bought for your son. You ask your son to show it to your friend. Your son is reluctant to do so, but at your insistence he hands it over. Your friend's eyes suddenly widen and he hands the phone to you. Much to your surprise, there are numerous adult-only applications installed on the phone. You are a little embarrassed but you don't really want to make a big deal of it in front of your friend, so you put the phone in your pocket, intending to deal with the issue later on. Your son, though, is quite angry that you are taking his phone from him, and he demands that you give it back. You politely tell him "no", after which he calls you a dick, quite loud enough for your friend (and probably anyone at nearby tables) to hear.
What do you do?
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted March 30, 2010 03:57 PM |
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Edited by baklava at 15:59, 30 Mar 2010.
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Quote:
so you put the phone in your pocket, intending to deal with the issue later on.
I wouldn't do this part so I wouldn't find myself in this situation in the first place.
Alternatively, if all of that did happen, I'd give the kid on adoption because I apparently fail epically as a parent, considering I didn't manage to teach him basic manners in 11 years.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 30, 2010 04:54 PM |
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1. Wonder why I have a child.
2. Wonder why he's so much of an idiot to have porn on his phone.
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Eccentric Opinion
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