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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted June 20, 2003 10:52 PM |
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<...The book drops magically through the Temple ceiling and plops smack down in the middle of the floor. Peace, still tugging at her drooping gown, begins to walk in the direction of the book.
Just then, a giant marauding elephant wearing a tattered pink tutu comes careening through the door, thundering and trumpting loudly.
The Temple occupants are sent shrieking and scatter in every direction. The elephant stops squarely over the book and takes a great dump, dropping a two-hundred-pound turd on the manuscript, then turns and casually strolls back out.
A chorus of tiny giggles erupts from the rose vine.
Peace peers out from behind the catering table...>
Awwww, Romeeeeyyy... Did I do that?!?!?!?!
<Peace slaps herself in the forehead, then plunks down in a chair and rests her chin on her hand in a gesture of defeat...>
____________
I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted June 20, 2003 11:26 PM |
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Next time let me do the slapping ok? 
And read the friggin letter I gave you so we can continue before the pink hippo's start flying again.
OOps...*don't think about the pink hippo's, don't even say it*
____________
The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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LordTitan
Famous Hero
Hit Dice: 76d12+608 HP
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posted June 21, 2003 01:16 AM |
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Too late....
Pink hippos! Walka Walka! THE WATER'S COMING!!!! THE WATER'S COMING!!!! HALOOOOOOO OUT THERE?
____________
Spaek the Titan
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted June 21, 2003 03:23 AM |
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Hmmmmm, pink hippos...syco faeries...Uh Oh. That can mean only one thing. The great flying purple hippo is back. By the way, Romey, Gootch has somthing nice planned for once so don't get all bent out of shape. He's even coming back to the temple to visit you all. *Stares out at the Gootch* RIGHT GOOTCH?
He won't be bad...I PROMISE!
ooh, Peace, are we having uhh gown trouble? Here...Let me "Help you" with that.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Saruman
Famous Hero
On academic leave
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posted June 22, 2003 01:38 AM |
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A flaming crater opens in the floor of Peacekeeper's room. A new gown flies out, and covers her body just as MM teleports it somewhere else in the room. Force fields activate on the gown. MM crawls up and tries to undo the straps, but a strange disembodied voice shouts Unauthorized user; ACCESS DENIED!!, and MM is thrown to the floor by a bolt of electricity.
P.S. All of my actions here are being managed by strong magical forces. I am not actually here.
P.P.S.
I have yet to reveal my true identity and purpose in this thread.
____________
Thank god I'm an atheist.
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2Xtremetotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 22, 2003 05:22 PM |
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The FoG are the real gods, three women cannot do nothing.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted June 22, 2003 05:47 PM |
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Quote:
three women cannot do nothing
Meaning 3 women can do anything (double negative=positive)
Can't help but feel sorry for you.
But you know what? We don't want the likes of you around here anyways so go away and continue worshipping your rod
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2Xtremetotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 22, 2003 05:49 PM |
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i didnt mean it that way, i meant 3 women have no power......are you threatening me!?
____________
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted June 22, 2003 06:29 PM |
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Not threatening ..just suggesting something you might feel happier with
Bye now 
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted June 22, 2003 07:02 PM |
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I would like to take this moment to state that 2X does not represent the HC Gods as a whole and I would also like to say sorry to Peace (please don't slap me) I was just trying to help. Really.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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LordTitan
Famous Hero
Hit Dice: 76d12+608 HP
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posted June 22, 2003 09:14 PM |
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Why is Saruman making up all this stuff about nothing? It's messing around with routine.
*Looks into the room which MM is in*
I think I'll leave now.
____________
Spaek the Titan
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted June 22, 2003 10:56 PM |
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*A magically flying paper airplane flies towards Saruman and 2xtreme. It stops next to them and unfolds to reveal the following message.*
You seem to be in some disagreement with the goddesses. Would you like to join my rebellion. If so, then come to the Dark Woods next to the mountains south of here. Once you are there, I will guide you to my hideout.
Marelt Ekiran.
P.S. This message will destroy itself once read by the receivers.
*After 2xtreme and Saruman read it, the letter bursts into flames and is turned into a pile of ashes within seconds.*
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Perception is everything.
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Saruman
Famous Hero
On academic leave
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posted June 22, 2003 11:34 PM |
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I'll consider it Marelt, but I have some registration forms to begin making so that I can use them as stationery.
Wraps himself in his black cloak, collapses to a point in the air, and vanishes with a bright flash of blue light.
____________
Thank god I'm an atheist.
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted June 23, 2003 07:34 PM |
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uhhhhh, so am I forgivin? HEY, Wait one cottin pickin minuite. I'm a god, I can forgive myself.
Oh great and handsome Mighty Mage please forgive me of my wrongdoings.
NO. YOU SHALL NOT BE FORGIVIN.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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LordTitan
Famous Hero
Hit Dice: 76d12+608 HP
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posted June 23, 2003 11:30 PM |
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Looks like somewon's in trouble
Marelt, I might show up seeing as I can almost everything from on a hill, but I have a ton of paperwork.
____________
Spaek the Titan
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted June 23, 2003 11:36 PM |
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LT, does that mean you're going against the goddesses?
That's what Marelt's rally is.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted June 24, 2003 02:30 AM |
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At long last, our hero has made it to the stairs of this infernal place
<Pausing, taking a minute to catch his breath...>
<Panting and wheezing...our hero realizes that it has been too long since he has chased down twits for their milk money>
"Man, I need to get into shape. Wait a minute. What the hell happened here?"
<Our hero spies songbirds singing their annyoing love songs. He then spots fawns gently grazing on the grass surrounding the temple>
"Did I just die and find myself inside a Disney movie? I'm half-expecting Aurora to show up and sing me a song."
<He looks around and surveys the crowd. Pleasant smells waft from the open doors of the temple. This was definitely not how he had last left it.>
"Yeah, I heard you MightyMage. Don't you have something to do right now, like research another spell that you'll never be able to cast?"
<He walks up the stairs...half expecting the she-hag known as Djive to interpose herself between our hero and the entrance to this so-called hallow place.>
"I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH THE PLACE, ROMANA. I THINK YOU'VE FOUND YOUR NEW CALLING. YOU CAN BE THE GODDESS OF SPIC AND SPAN."
<He sees her, standing not 15 feet away from him. She is not alone however. Cat is laying on some pillows next to her as is Peacemaker?! OldTimer, of course, is rubbing Cat's feet.>
"It took me awhile to figure out Djive's riddle. You see...with over 2000 members in HC...it was extremely difficult to find 12 of them to say nice things about you 2."
<Our hero derisively snorts>
"Oh, forgive my temerity. I forgot...I am supposed to humble myself in front of you two."
<Our hero takes an exaggerated bow>
"The answer to the riddle was maddening in its simplicity. The answer was in the 'hallowed' log book of this temple."
"Obviously your 12 worshippers would include...
<nods towards Oldtimer>
Him
the pantywaist known as Wesley
Shadowlord
Daemonimumm(yes, even goddesses have to scrape the bottom of the barrel sometime)
Hexa(though I have heard from a reliable source that he no longer worships the box)
Slava(boy you like to get'em young to train'em, don't you)
Lord_Echo(as far as I'm concerned, him and Slava are twins)
Lith
MightyMage
Gorman(Though I'm not sure if he says anything else besides LOL)
LordTitan
Whinie_The_Muppet(I'm guessing he's your mascot)
"And that's that. I figured out the magic word, too. It's...and I'm not too good with the anunciation...onyerkneesbeyotches. So what are we supposed to do with that word anyway? Are we supposed to tell the two of you at the same time the magic word?"
<Looks at the slave only known as OldTimer>
"Man, are you p-whipped or what? And why the hell are you giving credence to this Federation of Alternate Gods anyway? Wait a second."
<For the second time today, our hero giggles>
"Yeah they are, aren't they?"
<Looks upon Peacemaker, his eyes narrowing. Then, they soften.>
"Rumor has it that you joined their ranks. Is that true? Probably is...I wouldn't be surprised. Don't worry Peace. You're not the first woman to feel like a goddess after I've had my way with her."
<He advances towards her>
"You can relax. I've brought you a gift. I don't know why...maybe I was inspired. I've also written you a poem."
<He puts his right thumb on her right cheek...the cup of his hand under her chin...and the rest of his fingers on her left cheek. He applies a bit of pressure against her lower jaw, that rotates her unexpressive face 90 degrees to the left, and then 90 degrees to the right. Her eys follow the angle of her face, and only gives resistance when she is looking straight at him.>
"The question you should be asking yourself when you are face to face with me is...'Am I strong enough? Am I strong enough to tame this cat'?"
<He sighs>
"Probably not. In any event, I would like to congratulate you on your promotion. These are for you."
<He opens up the bag, pulls out the gift-wrapped package...tears off the paper and presents her with...<<Narrator hands the script to someone else, telling them 'You read it. I can't bear to'>>
<He opens up the bag, pulls out the gift-wrapped package...tears off the paper and presents her with...a dozen roses.>
"These...ah...have been magically enchanted. They will never grow old and die."
"As for your poem, it's actually a sonnet. Here goes..."
<In the spirit of his boyhood idol, Steve Dallas, he recites the sacred words>
"In my dreams."
"You're all I sees."
"Boobs, butt, and knees."
"Be my main squeeze."
<Our hero flushes not inconsiderably, stuffs the note back into his pocket, bites his lip, and starts tracing the ground with his foot.>
"I'll be outside...waiting for your answer."
____________
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted June 24, 2003 03:49 AM |
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awwwwwwwwwwww, how sweet. Gootchie has a crush. Why don't you go write her a valintine now. Maybe cut it out of construction paper and use some crayolas to brighten it up.
And of course...Don't give any credit to the mage. Nobody cares about poor old Mighty Mage. I'll just...just...I...SCREW YOU ALL.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted June 24, 2003 04:12 AM |
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Our hero's shade turns several shades darker, then his eyes narrow dangerously
"Someday MightyMage, you and I are going to have a serious disagreement."
<He turns, straightens himself up as best he can, and walks out.>
____________
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Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
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posted June 24, 2003 06:39 AM |
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"overhearing MightyMage's threat"
hehehe... been there, done that... ain't that right, Romana?
...so, the Twelve are finally coming out of hiding... about time I join them officially... too bad my Goddess of choice can only be found in the sister temple of Be'ati Tempus...
"with that, the Keeper shadowmelds out of the Temple and into Conn's shop"
____________
You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
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