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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted October 24, 2006 01:27 PM |
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I'll grab the delivery toaster she ordered from her doorstep, unwrap and give it to her for a Christmas Gift, ("exactly what I wanted!"), then realize I kinda need a toaster so I take it back from under the tree when she's fetching me a drink 
Not to mention I'd tap that in her old house after dinner 
Group Challenge:
Is your woman *****ing, whining, and nagging you constantly? Does it make you wish you were gay, but you're too cool to wear a dress? We have a solution, nay, the ONLY solution to this natural disaster.
DUCT TAPE
"The Only Way to Shut Her Up!" 
Instructions:
Place one dose of duct tape over her mouth while she is not looking, sleeping and/or incapacitated.
Seal firmly.
Dosage:
One strip (6inch) per woman for the first week.
Additional duct tape may be used for arms and legs if a more serious dose is needed.
As the immune system of the woman builds up slowly a stronger dosage may be required to keep her quiet.
If symptoms persist, please see a relationship counsellor, or turn yourself in for abuse.
____________
John says to live above hell.
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted October 24, 2006 06:01 PM |
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted October 24, 2006 06:05 PM |
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So you use Batmans uh Squeeze bottle for yourself huh Tina ?
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Dreaming of a Better World
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russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted October 24, 2006 06:06 PM |
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Edited by russ at 16:55, 25 Oct 2006.
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Group Challenge: Invent a device that can be used to prevent/stop women from nagging, whining, or *****ing {sorry CoC can anyone give me a non-offensive word for this?} You must describe the device's appearance, how it is activated, what it does, and how it works. Reward - move back one space
There is a simple discount device to help you deal with this problem. While it may not directly prevent the women from nagging (which is impossible), it will minimize the negative side effects caused by nagging, whining and *****ing such as annoyance, confusion, frustration, etc.
Here it is...
Instuctions:
Apply vigorously to your head until the negative side effects caused by nagging disappear.
*small print*
Warning! Side effects may include: bleeding, death and partial or complete retardation. Your at your own discretion.
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted October 24, 2006 06:08 PM |
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Quote:
So you use Batmans uh Squeeze bottle for yourself huh Tina ?
 Does Batman have other squeezable TUBE products that I don't know about, Pecu!?
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Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted October 24, 2006 09:27 PM |
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playerlist
Quote:
Iris...Aculias...Kooka...Russ...MM...TA...TNTie...Foggie...Iriscannotpost...Gom_Jabbar
Guess_Da_Memba...Leo_Lion...Dragon_Slayer...RSF...Boris/Antipaladin
LOL at all of these guys  Thanks
Both these questions were submitted by another player - remember to hcm me with any ideas you have {Please} 
The next two cards are for:
Leo_Lion
Tell us about how the bastardly way to grocery shop for produce? Minimum 50 words, penalty move foward 2 spaces.
and
Dragon Slayer
Fabricate a phone conversation where you try to convince your girl to lose some weight. If Iris and Kooka both think you are convincing - move back 2 spaces
____________
uhuh
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted October 25, 2006 03:51 PM |
bonus applied. |
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Me: Hello?
GF: Hey babe!
Me: Hey how are you hunni?
GF:Good yourself
Me:Yea good, whats up?
GF:You know that party we have tonight?
Me:Yeah.
GF:I was wondering if i should wear my black mini-skirt. What do you think?
Me:Uhh well yeah sure if you want.....
GF:What, you dont like it?
Me:No no no, its not that. its just, shouldnt you wear something a little less revealing?
GF:Why, im comfortable with my body!
Me:Yeah but are other people?
GF: What is that supposed to mean?!?!?
Me: What im trying to say is, your legs... they dont really suit a mini skirt......
GF: ...........excuse me
Me: You know, maybe you should go to the gym for a while, then wear it.
GF: Why you inconsiderate son of a *****!!!
Me: Purple monkey dishwasher...
GF: Ohhh, thanks babe. Maybe i will go to the gym. See you tonight, bye!
Me: ...whew...
*Anyone who has read Borts old thread about women will know what this means. Works like a charm lol*
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted October 25, 2006 05:19 PM |
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted October 25, 2006 07:46 PM |
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Leo_Lion
Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
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posted October 26, 2006 02:33 AM |
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Edited by Leo_Lion at 02:39, 26 Oct 2006.
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Tell us about how the bastardly way to grocery shop for produce? Minimum 50 words, penalty move forward 2 spaces.
The only reason you would ever need to employ bastardly tactics when shopping for produce is because someone else is going to take the prized produce before you do. You know what I'm talking about...you're picking out corn and getting all the big ones, when suddenly another shopper spots your "motherload" and waddles over to start picking through your "secret stash". Doesn't that just irritate the heck out of you?!  And I know you'd like to find out how you can keep all of the good stuff for yourself; without resorting to all-out violence or in-your-face arguments. Well, through exhaustive research into the subject (i.e. 4 years of experience as a cashier & buggy-boy at a variety of grocery stores), I have discovered that no one likes germs or dirt...or even the slightest possibility of these...on their food.
Although most people will wash or cook their fruits, vegetables, or meats once they take them home (to remove said germs or dirt), they will only buy them at the store if they conform to a long list of requirements. What sort of things might be on this list, you ask? Well...
*Regardless of how perfect an item might be, if it fell on the floor (or was accidentally dropped there by you  ), then it might as well go in the garbage...even if it is still in great shape.
*If someone else has simply touched an item (or you've fondled it erotically ), then others will look right past it.
*God-forbid, if ever an item should already be in one of those flimsy plastic bags (or have been intentionally put there by you  ), then it might as well be as contaminated as the stuff grown in Chernobyl. 
These are just some of the bastardly ways to work around other people's phobias when shopping for produce on a daily basis. The next 2 suggestions that I have, however, are only to be used in extreme emergencies {such as when rare fruit is only available once a year}.
*First of all, there is the oh-so-effective SNEEZE. This is to be used, for example, when the produce-boy brings out a "fresh batch" of stuff and everyone is eyeing it like famished 3rd world children.  Simply let out a big, wet, & whopping sneeze, then watch the other shoppers scatter like cockroaches when the lights are turned on.
If some customers insist on sticking around, though, don't worry about it; just use the age-old SARS technique. First, you let out a hacking cough and then apologize by saying:
"Sorry about that. I must have picked something up in China." 
*The second bastardly suggestion that I have for you to use in grocery emergencies takes a little more planning & guts than the previous one. You see, it involves going to the back of the store and grabbing one of their aprons. I know what you're saying...an apron? Yes, an apron!
You see, with this simple (yet amazing) piece of garment, you can either grab what you want from the storage area or you can walk out to the customer area and tell people to back off a certain product display. Then you are free to pick out the best-looking ones for yourself, while explaining to the other shoppers that these items happen to be infested with brain-tunnelling larvae. 
The best part is that if you can sneak the apron out of the store, it can be used again & again...or until you finally get caught!
So, that's about all the bastardly tricks that I have to share with you when it comes to buying produce at the grocery store. Make sure to check in with me later, when I reveal my bastardly secrets to getting your boss fired for "sexual harassment".
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*The end to no beginning...
*Take care, Leo
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted October 26, 2006 09:35 AM |
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LOL guys, and thanks for the quick response
The next two cards {also kindly donated by a fellow player} are for:
RSF
There has just been a major power outage and your neighbour has the only working generator on the block. Being the bastard that you are, describe how you would acquire this generator (lying and deceit is a plus). Reward back 2
Boris/Antipaladin
You've just gotten the once in a life time chance to meet your favorite band. Upon refusing to sign an autograph, describe the bastardly things you would do to boycott their music. Reward back 2
____________
uhuh
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russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted October 26, 2006 06:53 PM |
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Edited by russ at 18:56, 26 Oct 2006.
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Btw, Leo, I noticed that you have mating lions in your signature. You know that lions "last" only 30 seconds, right? It there any particular reason for you using them in your signature?
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Leo_Lion
Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
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posted October 26, 2006 08:46 PM |
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Yeah, because I would love to sleep for 18 hours a day...like a lion!
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*The end to no beginning...
*Take care, Leo
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russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted October 26, 2006 09:03 PM |
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Edited by russ at 21:48, 26 Oct 2006.
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But... but... they are not SLEEPING on that pic
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antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted October 27, 2006 12:25 AM |
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This band is not ok
If i somewhat thought they being good i changed my mind drasticily,i put all the votes against them,i managed to menipulate myfrindes against them with lies and sending flayers around talling how lame they are and lets worship something else
edit:thenks pan,changed sory.
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types in obscure english
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted October 27, 2006 12:29 AM |
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted October 27, 2006 12:31 AM |
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woah, antipaladin - you are now the KING of wrong sauce
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted October 27, 2006 12:44 AM |
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pandy pandy.. I know what u MEAN with "wrong sauce", but you gotta realize ur talkin to a bunch of pervs.. any mention of "sauce" and we're not gonan understand what u really ment
Sounds to me ur talkin bout sex lol 
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I am the hope of the universe... I am the answer to all living things that cry out for peace... I am protector of the innocent... I am the light in the darkness... I am truth.
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted October 27, 2006 10:16 AM |
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EDIT
RSF You still need to answer that question! You have another 24 hrs, thass it.
The next two cards are for:
Iris
The opponent of your choice must organise a protest against making the Cutthroat Troat a protected species. It must include at least - a chant, a banner/sign and a costume. An outline of the protest is to be included.
Reward: move back 3 spaces.
Pecu
Decribe what you would do if you were the bastard Admin of HC for a day, {at least 50 words} and move back 2 spaces
Time limit 48 hrs.
____________
uhuh
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Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
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posted October 30, 2006 07:29 AM |
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Edited by Iris at 07:29, 30 Oct 2006.
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All yours Pecu.
Edit: Man, this curse thing really loves me. 
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This thread is pages long: 
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