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Leo_Lion
Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
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posted September 16, 2006 08:48 AM |
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Edited by Leo_Lion at 08:56, 16 Sep 2006.
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Since it seems that I messed up the 1st time that I attempted my limerick, I will try to alter what I have so far to make it work.Quote:
The opponent of your choice has to invent a limerick containing somewhere in it all the words:
How,
to,
be,
a,
complete,
bastard.
Here's what I came up with:
A young man once asked how a bull makes love to a cow?
His father said it's got to be smart and whisper a phrase that will melt the cow's heart.
"My love, you complete me!" his father yelled out.
His mother replied: "You bastard, don't shout!"
But with the secret in mind his son grew a bone and humped all the cows until they came home.
I hope that this meets your definition of a limerick, Kooka. 
EDIT:
Do I still have to do the 10 Commandments thing? If so, someone has already done the one that I wanted:
"10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's."
Everyone knows that I have a weakness for my neighbour's manservant & his ass. Hahaha! 
____________
*The end to no beginning...
*Take care, Leo
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted September 16, 2006 10:02 AM |
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Quote:
The opponent of your choice must list their 10 Bastard New Year's resolutions.
For the new year I resolve to:
1. Always wait 2 or 3 seconds before replying to ugly people when they talk to me.
2. Take the handicapped and elderly spaces on the bus and then when somebody asks me to move, acting like I'm retarded and don't understand.
3. Whenever I go to a fast food restaurant, eat 75% of the food and then demand my money back because it "tastes funny".
4. Scratch my balls secretly before shaking people's hands.
5. Taste all the fruit at the grocery store before buying. Or not buying if it doesn't taste good.
6. Steal all my neighbor's flower pots.
7. Pass gas in church
8. Every time I hock a lugey, to make sure the hocking part is really loud and disgusting.
9. When I talk to old people, to say "huh?" as often as possible.
10. To abbreviate everybody's name to one syllable and then add an annoying meister to it. Kookmeister, Conmeister, Wilmeister...
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 16, 2006 10:47 AM |
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 Foggie 
Leo still not a limerick . 2 great poems = success in my book 
Still waiting for MM's call on this one:
Quote:
Next card is for MightyMage
An opponent of your choice must invent a rude verse for a Christmas card. If it isn't original or rude they must move foward 2 spaces
The next card is for TA
Imitate a rabid sheep and move back 2 spaces
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted September 16, 2006 06:00 PM |
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Sorry, i didn't even realize I had a card. Hmmmmm, well this seems PERFECT for TnT. Come on Tina, make a rude Christmas card, just for me.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 17, 2006 12:45 AM |
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OK I think I got it all...
We don't seem to be getting very far I may have to start giving rewards as well as penalties
here is an update - let me know mistakes
Waiting on TA and TNT...
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted September 17, 2006 08:08 AM |
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I insist that my marble be made far more shiny then all the others...or ELSE!
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 17, 2006 09:26 AM |
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Here you go Mighty This is as good as it's going to get
K I need a playerlist on every page - so here's one:
Quote:
Iris...Aculias...Kooka...Russ...MM...TA...TNTie...Foggie...Iriscannotpost...Gom_Jabbar
Guess_Da_Memba...Leo_Lion...Dragon_Slayer...Vadskye91
*sigh*I am bored so I'm going to draw the next card. TA your time is running out
The next card is for TNT:
The opponent of your choice has 24hrs to explain why they smell. If you don't find the explanation convinving they must move foward 2 spaces. If they succeed they may move back one space
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tnt_addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted September 17, 2006 01:46 PM |
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Sure choose the guy from Israel to write you a christmas card :/
I never wrote one before so I'm gonna settle just for a poem that I wrote...
Dear MightyMage merry medeocre christmas to you!
On the first day of christmas,
your bestest buddy sent to you,
the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the second day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the third day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the forth day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the fifth day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the sixth day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
6 cans of head wax,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the seventh day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
7 new foreign workers,
6 cans of head wax,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the eights day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
8 new Namus posts,
7 new foreign workers,
6 cans of head wax,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the nineth day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
9 devilish little sisters,
8 new Namus posts,
7 new foreign workers,
6 cans of head wax,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the tenth day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
10 drunk russian guards,
9 devilish little sisters,
8 new Namus posts,
7 more foreign workers,
6 cans of head wax,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the eleventh day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
11 buckets of black paint,
10 drunk russian guards,
9 devilish little sisters,
8 new Namus posts,
7 foreign workers,
6 cans of head wax,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
On the twelveths day of christmas,
your buddy sent to you,
12 photos of Pecu taking a bath,
11 buckets of black paint,
10 drunk russian guards,
9 devilish little sisters,
8 new Namus posts,
7 foreign workers,
6 cans of head wax,
5 bottles of sunscreen,
4 brand new braces,
3 sets of condoms,
2 shiny eyeballs,
and the cheapest of old salty's stew.
____________
Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 17, 2006 02:00 PM |
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TNT
Can you nominate an opponent for the next card too please
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted September 17, 2006 02:31 PM |
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ok I'm not sure how I'm supposed to imitate a rabid sheep through text but I'll give it a shot
that's me 
____________
John says to live above hell.
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TnT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted September 17, 2006 05:42 PM |
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Quote:
TNT
Can you nominate an opponent for the next card too please
Oh yeah...
Vadskye dude, you have only been here for like a week and this place stinks like never before, tell me what is your secret
____________
Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted September 17, 2006 05:58 PM |
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LOL at the rabid sheep.
I haven't been here for 5 years of course but I think this thread might be shaping up to become HC's greatest thread ever.
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 17, 2006 09:32 PM |
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Man TA that was awesome I'm giving you a double point bonus
The next card is for Foggie.
Impersonate a Bastard's answering machine {phone} and move back 2 spaces
The next card is for Iriscannotpost
Talk for 30 sec {50 words minimum} on "Why I covet my neighbour's ass"
Reward: back 3 spaces.
Reminder for Vadskye
TNT has named you for this task:
The opponent of your choice has 24hrs to explain why they smell. If you don't find the explanation convinving they must move foward 2 spaces. If they succeed they may move back one space
ADDIT?BUMPETY BUMP
Well... Where have Iriscannotpost and Foggie disappeared too  heehee
I won't penalise you if you have something by the end of my day, when I get home I will be starting the next round. AND if no one completes the next cards I WILL GO ON A 24hr SPAM FEST THAT WILL MAKE YOU CUT OFF YOUR BALLS, have them stitched back on, CUT THEM OFF AGAIN, repeatedly for all eternity. ANd all the while you will be thinking of RSF
So yeah, don't be slacker's K "ING"
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IRISCANNOTPOST
Hired Hero
J/K, DON'T DELETE ME PLEASE!
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posted September 19, 2006 02:51 AM |
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I cannot lie. That night at TnT's party, when Kooka and I were changing, I took a double take when she turned around to pull on her nurse outfit. I couldn't help but notice what bootylicious bummbumms she had. I played it cool, though. I told her I needed some help with my outfits, and I think you already know what happened after tha...
I mean, *coughcough* you see, this neighbor of mine has an ass living in his apartment. Actually, he claims that it's a horse, but we all know better. I swear he must have friends in high places that put him above university rules, because stuff like that is unheard of here. Anyway, all that aside, let me tell you, that ass is so convenient to have around! When he's late for class, he hops on that thing and it takes him to classes faster than any bike or bus on campus. Why? Because everyone and everything clear out of the way when they see a random ass running around on the street. And he never has to worry about parking! It fits rather well everywhere, and no cop would come over to stick a ticket on an ass. I wish I had one of those. 
____________
WHOA ALL CAPS.
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted September 19, 2006 08:58 AM |
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Quote:
Impersonate a Bastard's answering machine {phone} and move back 2 spaces
briiinnnng briiinnnggg
*click*
he...he...hol on....hol on please...eyyyeehh...man do you ever get those times when a sneeze...hol on....a sneeze is right there....hol on....aaaCHIOOOOO.....aaaaaACHIOOOOOO.....man I think I'm....hol on again plea....aaa....aaaaCHIOOOO...eehhheeehhhweehhhh...hang on let me get a tissue....*sound of blowing nose*...*sound of blowing nose again*....Okay I'm aaaaACHIOOOO....maybe it's the pollen, hang on....gehhheeehhheee...who is this again?...man this....aaiiCHIOOOoo...*sound of blowing nose again*...whooo I got something...there it is...again...it's just right...............there..........aaa....aaaaa........aaaaaCGHPLOOOAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!...I'm sorry you're going to have to call back in about 5 minutes, can you do that?......
beep
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 19, 2006 11:48 AM |
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The next 3 cards are:
Gom_Jabber
Describe in at least 50 words, the advantage of conscription for people under 5 years of age. If any player under 5 is not convinced move forward, otherwise move back 2 spaces
Guess_Da_Member
The opponent of your choice must list 5 of Satan's good points. If you don't believe them they must move forward 2 spaces
Leo_Lion
The opponent of your choice has 24 hours to perform a miracle. If they fail they must move foward 2 spaces
{yes some of these cards are a bit are... difficult... it is all part of the bastard game }
____________
uhuh
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Leo_Lion
Honorable
Supreme Hero
The 5th Element & 6th Sense!
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posted September 19, 2006 01:39 PM |
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Edited by Leo_Lion at 13:40, 19 Sep 2006.
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As they say: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"
So, in true bastard form, I will choose Aculias (for the 3rd time ) to perform a miracle within the next 24 hours.
____________
*The end to no beginning...
*Take care, Leo
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 20, 2006 09:11 AM |
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LOL
OK poor pecu
I think Gom has disappeared, so I will post 2 more cards They are for:
Dragon_Slayer
The opponent of your choice must list the first 3 things they would do if elected "Pope Bastard I" and move back 2 spaces
and
Vadskye91
The opponent of your choice must describe in 50words without breaking the CoC, thier night of passion with George W Bush. If they fail move forward 2 spaces
Let's hope they are around to play
____________
uhuh
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted September 20, 2006 09:40 AM |
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Leooo, you arch bastardness. You got this one
____________
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted September 20, 2006 09:45 AM |
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I have a miracle.
I out tossed TNT
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
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This thread is pages long: 
